Still spinning: Life by Gabrielle
After sad, blue and pondering days, something happy came up... Winn's wedding on Sat. Although it was a long and tiring day, complete with waking up early, walking around, sleeping late, it was fruitful. Made me see so much within such a few days...
During the church ceremony, all was silent n solemn. To me, its such a serious thing. after all, you're taking your vows. But, taking vows is a scary thing that needs huge determination. the kinds determination that you are gonna spend your life foreva with tt person. Hearing them take, spoken in such seriousness, to me, someone who's still not so prepared for marriage, its damn freaking scary... but of cos, seeing them take the vows, i know they felt happy, and determined at the same time to make the marriage wonderful...
After everything at nite, back in the hotel room to pick up our stuff, i gave winn a hug. Felt so happy yet sad at the same time. its tt kinda mixed feelings. happy, of cos lah, no need to explain... sad, cos i'm like marrying off a sister! now i know how mums feel when their daughters get married.
Brides really do look their best on their wedding... my dear winn, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty!!! soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!
Warning / Disclaimer: As they always say "Entries are blogger's own thoughts & does not represent Blogspot's stand... You may be addicted or offended by the following rants, so carry on at your own risk... Feel free to leave your two-dollars worth by leaving a comment or Screaming at me...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Life, oh life...
Been post the same question quite a few times today... "wht r u thinking abt" Said dunno, but actually lots till its all blury... now, let me try to put these tots bit by bit in words...
My frd's sis passed away ystday in the aftnn... sometimes we wonder/ ponder/ think, why is life so short. But did it ever occured to them at all that life is even shorter for some even more unfortunate ones out there.
She was just 19, wif an extremely bright future and life to look forward to. But God placed an obstacle for her to cross, a hurdle that seemed easy, but in fact it was not. She took 3 years, trying to cross this hurdle but she can't. During these 3 years, her family of 5 been thru hell n back. they had high hopes and God let her stayed for a while. But now, the Lord decided that its time for her to call home. 3 years of tug and war is over, 3 years of suffering is finally over. It might be painful to see her go, but the pain she went thru, the amt of morphine she had to take, only she will know. Lord, pls take care of her now that she's with You.
Live life to the fullest, my dear friends. no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Everytime there's this particular email that goes round reminding us "if you love someone, tell them, because if they are not around tmr, you can't tell them foreva". I never tot much of this email, never ever.
Cos to me, it does make sense, but too far fetched. but it took me 2 deaths... 2 REAL, PAINFUL deaths close to me in less thn a month to make me realise wht this paticular email is teaching us abt.
I feel so down... so so down now and i desparately need to adjust myself cos winn's wedding on sat... but i feel so lost now cos i just realised how fragile life is... mayb i should take a break, take a holiday, but tt's like running away...
If i were to stay on, i dun think i can take the pain. cos my dad's mum has been placed the similar obsticle, similar hurdle by God. whn will it be my turn? For me, chances of getting breat cancer are like double... y? my parents are cousins. their mums are sisters. a few of their cousins/ distance female relatives have gotten this hurdle too. My cousin is freaked out, so am i... wht to do? its in the genes... life is damn freaking fragile... i might be the next one... i so so not mentally prepared...
God help me...
Insecurity overwhelms me... Blame it on PMS or blame it on wht's going thru me now... I'm so damn feeling lost...
Life is fragile... live life to fullest... never have regrets... if u think u did something wrong, remb to say sorry, u might not even have the chance to do it the next moment... never think of "tmr lah", or "next time lah" cos there might nvr be...
Spinning: Life by Gabrielle
My frd's sis passed away ystday in the aftnn... sometimes we wonder/ ponder/ think, why is life so short. But did it ever occured to them at all that life is even shorter for some even more unfortunate ones out there.
She was just 19, wif an extremely bright future and life to look forward to. But God placed an obstacle for her to cross, a hurdle that seemed easy, but in fact it was not. She took 3 years, trying to cross this hurdle but she can't. During these 3 years, her family of 5 been thru hell n back. they had high hopes and God let her stayed for a while. But now, the Lord decided that its time for her to call home. 3 years of tug and war is over, 3 years of suffering is finally over. It might be painful to see her go, but the pain she went thru, the amt of morphine she had to take, only she will know. Lord, pls take care of her now that she's with You.
Live life to the fullest, my dear friends. no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Everytime there's this particular email that goes round reminding us "if you love someone, tell them, because if they are not around tmr, you can't tell them foreva". I never tot much of this email, never ever.
Cos to me, it does make sense, but too far fetched. but it took me 2 deaths... 2 REAL, PAINFUL deaths close to me in less thn a month to make me realise wht this paticular email is teaching us abt.
I feel so down... so so down now and i desparately need to adjust myself cos winn's wedding on sat... but i feel so lost now cos i just realised how fragile life is... mayb i should take a break, take a holiday, but tt's like running away...
If i were to stay on, i dun think i can take the pain. cos my dad's mum has been placed the similar obsticle, similar hurdle by God. whn will it be my turn? For me, chances of getting breat cancer are like double... y? my parents are cousins. their mums are sisters. a few of their cousins/ distance female relatives have gotten this hurdle too. My cousin is freaked out, so am i... wht to do? its in the genes... life is damn freaking fragile... i might be the next one... i so so not mentally prepared...
God help me...
Insecurity overwhelms me... Blame it on PMS or blame it on wht's going thru me now... I'm so damn feeling lost...
Life is fragile... live life to fullest... never have regrets... if u think u did something wrong, remb to say sorry, u might not even have the chance to do it the next moment... never think of "tmr lah", or "next time lah" cos there might nvr be...
Spinning: Life by Gabrielle
Monday, December 06, 2004
Adding for the sake of adding...
It seems foreva that I added an entry... so adding for the sake of adding...
passed my final theory... few more lessons and i can book for my pratical test already...
Someone whom i can kinda link to passed away... He's not my age, he's 53, with a cute daughter less than 5 years of age. he died whn he crashed into a stationery van/ truck/ heavy vehicle while on his bike. at work, those who know him and know my parents came forward and asked, "heard about YOUR uncle chew mat kiat?". of cos i heard about him, although i dun think i know him or seen him at all.. my parents talk abt him sometimes at home. since i dunno him, why do i feel a connection to him? cos he was my parents' ROM witness, my dad's close colleague, close frd...
Saw Bridget Jones 2 last wkend... Actually quite a bit of movies, but not much impact to write abt them... Y BJ2? part of me is like her, wishing n hoping a prince charming will love me and sweep me of my feet, searching for love and someone i can depend on... no matter wht misunderstandings, wht quarrels, wht cold wars, wht break-ups, in the end, i'm still with my tt prinnce charming because of one simple word... love...
passed my final theory... few more lessons and i can book for my pratical test already...
Someone whom i can kinda link to passed away... He's not my age, he's 53, with a cute daughter less than 5 years of age. he died whn he crashed into a stationery van/ truck/ heavy vehicle while on his bike. at work, those who know him and know my parents came forward and asked, "heard about YOUR uncle chew mat kiat?". of cos i heard about him, although i dun think i know him or seen him at all.. my parents talk abt him sometimes at home. since i dunno him, why do i feel a connection to him? cos he was my parents' ROM witness, my dad's close colleague, close frd...
Saw Bridget Jones 2 last wkend... Actually quite a bit of movies, but not much impact to write abt them... Y BJ2? part of me is like her, wishing n hoping a prince charming will love me and sweep me of my feet, searching for love and someone i can depend on... no matter wht misunderstandings, wht quarrels, wht cold wars, wht break-ups, in the end, i'm still with my tt prinnce charming because of one simple word... love...
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Slow month...
One month, but it feels like forever... Not that time past by slowly, it just that, it seems like everything's so comfortable that it seemed like a long time already...
Monday, November 08, 2004
Boo to Halo 2...
Have any of you heard Halo 2 is gonna have a midnite launch later? XBox & Halo fans are screaming yay, so might be avid gamers... But I'm screaming boo!!!
Firstly: My frog prince has to OT.. Hmm, OT good rite? NO!!! cos...
Secondly: he cannot claim OT!!!
Thirdly: he might have to work true the WHOLE nite.
Fourthly and MOST importantly: he's spending his bday working overnite... :-(
heartpain...
Firstly: My frog prince has to OT.. Hmm, OT good rite? NO!!! cos...
Secondly: he cannot claim OT!!!
Thirdly: he might have to work true the WHOLE nite.
Fourthly and MOST importantly: he's spending his bday working overnite... :-(
heartpain...
Friday, November 05, 2004
PMS week...
Lazy n tired me... haven't been blogging for a long long time...
i've passed my FTE... booked for FTT on the 23rd. Keep forgetting to ask boss for leave cos the FTT's in the afternoon... if dont catch tis date, the next slot is on 29th...
missed my driving on wed. no thanks to trakindo's order. stupid HPL pple!!! scheduled 2 bulk loadings in the morning, one west, one east... and they sent the tank in the afternoon!!! worse of all, the tank that should be drove to east plant to load went to west plant to load n vice versa... worst of all, in the hurry to load, it was fucking 3.30 and we knock off at 4.45, west plant forgot to check proforma that the driver brought along for loading, and LOADED!!! loaded wrong product nvr mind, STUPID tanks had product names stenciled on it! heng east side haven load yet... so bo pian, had to swing tank... de-caned the west loaded product into drums, flush the tank, sent samples to check if tank contaminated and then loaded the correct product into it... some had to stay till 9+... i went off at 8.15... n by the time i logged into bbdc webby to cancel driving, cannot cancel... call the customer service aso cannot... so i wasted 60 bucks like tt liao... haiz...
and me being so pms now, made my frog prince came over n buy me dinner... n made him stay till 11+... he so poor thing, overslept the next day... still feeling a bit guilty now...
i've passed my FTE... booked for FTT on the 23rd. Keep forgetting to ask boss for leave cos the FTT's in the afternoon... if dont catch tis date, the next slot is on 29th...
missed my driving on wed. no thanks to trakindo's order. stupid HPL pple!!! scheduled 2 bulk loadings in the morning, one west, one east... and they sent the tank in the afternoon!!! worse of all, the tank that should be drove to east plant to load went to west plant to load n vice versa... worst of all, in the hurry to load, it was fucking 3.30 and we knock off at 4.45, west plant forgot to check proforma that the driver brought along for loading, and LOADED!!! loaded wrong product nvr mind, STUPID tanks had product names stenciled on it! heng east side haven load yet... so bo pian, had to swing tank... de-caned the west loaded product into drums, flush the tank, sent samples to check if tank contaminated and then loaded the correct product into it... some had to stay till 9+... i went off at 8.15... n by the time i logged into bbdc webby to cancel driving, cannot cancel... call the customer service aso cannot... so i wasted 60 bucks like tt liao... haiz...
and me being so pms now, made my frog prince came over n buy me dinner... n made him stay till 11+... he so poor thing, overslept the next day... still feeling a bit guilty now...
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Help help...
Issit good or bad whn u last saw someone abt 13 hrs ago n last sms tt same person abt 6 hrs ago, n now u're missing him already... aiyoh, y like tt? i should be "studying" for my FTE tmr... cannot concentrate ah... jiu ming ah... help help...
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Dilemas...
All of the sudden, I have this bo liao idea... actually not bo liao after all... tt's to transfer my blog to somewhr else... seems like other blog servers offer much more stuff n control... like your layout, uploading of pics n midi/wav files. not that i'm unable to do it here, but its just too much of a trouble to do it here... plus u need good knowledge of html, for which i have none...
however, the biggie prob is the 190++, almost 200 entries to be transfered... n if u dun log in here for more thn 3 months, all previous entries will cease to exists, which means gone-ed... which will be most prob wht would happen if i move over to another blog, n not transfer my entries over... and which i think i'll spend abt an hour, copying n pasting the entries n changing the dates on them... argh... damn... i gotta quickly decide...
ignorant is bliss, so is being treated like a xing fu xiao gong zu (fortunate little princess)... but i prefer the princess part, though sometimes both is nice... life's full of contridictions, yeah? how long have i not felt this way? since foreva... cant remb whn i was treated like a princess... definately years ago... must enjoy while i can but cannot take it for granted... moments like tis, priceless... for everything else, i do hope thr's mastercard... (heh... k, i c crows fly by) but thr no free lunch in tis world, n the price i pay, lock's getting unlocked... which IS a good things after all...
however, the biggie prob is the 190++, almost 200 entries to be transfered... n if u dun log in here for more thn 3 months, all previous entries will cease to exists, which means gone-ed... which will be most prob wht would happen if i move over to another blog, n not transfer my entries over... and which i think i'll spend abt an hour, copying n pasting the entries n changing the dates on them... argh... damn... i gotta quickly decide...
ignorant is bliss, so is being treated like a xing fu xiao gong zu (fortunate little princess)... but i prefer the princess part, though sometimes both is nice... life's full of contridictions, yeah? how long have i not felt this way? since foreva... cant remb whn i was treated like a princess... definately years ago... must enjoy while i can but cannot take it for granted... moments like tis, priceless... for everything else, i do hope thr's mastercard... (heh... k, i c crows fly by) but thr no free lunch in tis world, n the price i pay, lock's getting unlocked... which IS a good things after all...
Friday, October 15, 2004
Clams... not so yummy after all...
Jus got back frm a KTV session... took leave for Thurs n Fri to unwind n relax n rest properly... Got d whole day tmr to run errands, gotta replace an atm card n most impt of all, my ic...
i do feel something now already, but y am i still claming up? y am i such a bitch? how do i stop myself frm claming up? how? someone pls pls teach me n tell me how... help...
i do feel something now already, but y am i still claming up? y am i such a bitch? how do i stop myself frm claming up? how? someone pls pls teach me n tell me how... help...
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Time to wake up...
stupid dumb experiment i did on myself... wanted to c wht r those weird feelings abt... so i tried as hard as i could, not to clam myself up n open my heart a little...
experiment findings: guilty feeling towards another (A) becos of someone else (B)... Want A to kinda give up becos of B... But at the same time, dare not open up to B becos of C... I'm such a loser, afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of a lot of things... tt's y after such a short while, i decided to end the experiment...
i dunno if its due to the stubborn traits of cancerians, no means no... close means close, no opening up... but thinking through, if i dun open up, C will always be thr, and it'll be fucking unfair for B... y am i such a bitch? mayb wht ken said might be bullseye... mayb i'm really starting to feel something, but its the baggage i'm still holding on to and i dun realise it... which i think might be true cos during the experiment, i think i did feel something...
this is so freaking irritating n confusing... mayb its just time to get outta comfort zone n wake up...
experiment findings: guilty feeling towards another (A) becos of someone else (B)... Want A to kinda give up becos of B... But at the same time, dare not open up to B becos of C... I'm such a loser, afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of a lot of things... tt's y after such a short while, i decided to end the experiment...
i dunno if its due to the stubborn traits of cancerians, no means no... close means close, no opening up... but thinking through, if i dun open up, C will always be thr, and it'll be fucking unfair for B... y am i such a bitch? mayb wht ken said might be bullseye... mayb i'm really starting to feel something, but its the baggage i'm still holding on to and i dun realise it... which i think might be true cos during the experiment, i think i did feel something...
this is so freaking irritating n confusing... mayb its just time to get outta comfort zone n wake up...
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Everything... AGAIN...
Flu kicked in again... 3rd time in 6 months, or rather, less than that... place too dusty or i'm not getting enuff rest?
Confessions hurt... to a certain extend... Weird feelings going thru me now... Cant decipher them at all... just weird, funny, even funnier... getting to suspect there's NO such thing as platonic friendship anymore... y do things have to turn out tis way... ken jus put it, u're just too cute n attractive lah... i think otherwise... pissed at myself... damn fucking pissed... y cant i have a simple pure platonic friendship that will stay put n last tt way... y must it be always, in the middle of such a nice friendship, things happen AGAIN... i fucking hate it... it must be me... i fucking hate myself...
i give up... gonna rummage for flu medicine n pig out... nite nite world... till another day, i'll write down siew mai's story...
Confessions hurt... to a certain extend... Weird feelings going thru me now... Cant decipher them at all... just weird, funny, even funnier... getting to suspect there's NO such thing as platonic friendship anymore... y do things have to turn out tis way... ken jus put it, u're just too cute n attractive lah... i think otherwise... pissed at myself... damn fucking pissed... y cant i have a simple pure platonic friendship that will stay put n last tt way... y must it be always, in the middle of such a nice friendship, things happen AGAIN... i fucking hate it... it must be me... i fucking hate myself...
i give up... gonna rummage for flu medicine n pig out... nite nite world... till another day, i'll write down siew mai's story...
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Physically drained...
So "happening" last 2 weeks that I feel physically drained out...
18th: Last IVP match of the season. After dinner met some frds, played pool. After pool, sit down, tok cock... Reached home at 4am...
19th: Woke up at 7.30am to be in time in Kallang for J-league. Saw history making when Teck Whye Alumini softball team won Singapore National softball team. Shiok! Left Kallang ard 4pm. whn i reached home, slacked, tired out, slept early.
20th to 23rd: Work, stress out, using too much brain juice. After work was driving lessons or running errands. Reaching home on the avg of 8pm everyday, tired out...
24th: After work, went up to JB wif my colleagues for seafood and cheesecake!!! at only 4.90RM per slice, it was wonderful... If only i could buy every single slice back to SG. Reached home at 9.40pm. Rushed to bath, change and take my mahjong set. Played mahjong till 4+am. Went for supper/breakfast. By the time i slept, it was 6am already.
25th: Woke up by my dad at 9am. But fell back to sleep. Every few mins, he would come to try to wake me up again. For the next 45 mins, it was just a few mins eye shut, driftin to sleep, only to wake up again. finally got my butt up, bathe, changed and went out for brunch wif my family. After that, we went suntec carrfour to buy groceries and some car accessories. Our car, SFM4850Y is officially a week's old! Reached home ard 230pm, set up everything we have bought in the car. Slacked at home from 3-4pm. Left the house again to mit the gals. Window shopped for a while and we went to sakae for dinner. Left at 8pm, took a cab n rushed home. Put down some stuff, took some stuff, mit some friends from wholivesnearyou.com for a mooncake thingy... chit chat, supper, tok cock, reached home at 4+am. Slept at 5am...
26th (today): woke up at 1pm. ate lunch, now headache is kicking in... damn...
18th: Last IVP match of the season. After dinner met some frds, played pool. After pool, sit down, tok cock... Reached home at 4am...
19th: Woke up at 7.30am to be in time in Kallang for J-league. Saw history making when Teck Whye Alumini softball team won Singapore National softball team. Shiok! Left Kallang ard 4pm. whn i reached home, slacked, tired out, slept early.
20th to 23rd: Work, stress out, using too much brain juice. After work was driving lessons or running errands. Reaching home on the avg of 8pm everyday, tired out...
24th: After work, went up to JB wif my colleagues for seafood and cheesecake!!! at only 4.90RM per slice, it was wonderful... If only i could buy every single slice back to SG. Reached home at 9.40pm. Rushed to bath, change and take my mahjong set. Played mahjong till 4+am. Went for supper/breakfast. By the time i slept, it was 6am already.
25th: Woke up by my dad at 9am. But fell back to sleep. Every few mins, he would come to try to wake me up again. For the next 45 mins, it was just a few mins eye shut, driftin to sleep, only to wake up again. finally got my butt up, bathe, changed and went out for brunch wif my family. After that, we went suntec carrfour to buy groceries and some car accessories. Our car, SFM4850Y is officially a week's old! Reached home ard 230pm, set up everything we have bought in the car. Slacked at home from 3-4pm. Left the house again to mit the gals. Window shopped for a while and we went to sakae for dinner. Left at 8pm, took a cab n rushed home. Put down some stuff, took some stuff, mit some friends from wholivesnearyou.com for a mooncake thingy... chit chat, supper, tok cock, reached home at 4+am. Slept at 5am...
26th (today): woke up at 1pm. ate lunch, now headache is kicking in... damn...
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Gastric --> Stomach ulcer --> Stomach cancer
on MC today... Was feeling terrible on Monday already. Managed to scrap thru work ystday and went to the doc's in the evening...
doc asked since whn i had this kinda feeling my my tummy. told him quite some time back, but it came n go... only becoming more frequent now... he asked if it could be stress related... u're the doc, how in the hell would I know!? anyway, i din tell him tt lah, i just said i dunno... gave me gastric medication, famotidine... was wondering y not antacid. seems tt famotidine is stronger thn antacid.
correct me or the webbys that i went thru if i'm wrong... antacid for neutralizing the acidic affect in the gut. but famotidine, is for curing ulcers and reducing the gastric juice serection... now, tt really scares me! i betta start looking aft my tummy... eating medication on time. the tot of stomach ulcer n developing into stomach cancer really scares me...
May God, my Lord bless this lost sheep... Amen!
doc asked since whn i had this kinda feeling my my tummy. told him quite some time back, but it came n go... only becoming more frequent now... he asked if it could be stress related... u're the doc, how in the hell would I know!? anyway, i din tell him tt lah, i just said i dunno... gave me gastric medication, famotidine... was wondering y not antacid. seems tt famotidine is stronger thn antacid.
correct me or the webbys that i went thru if i'm wrong... antacid for neutralizing the acidic affect in the gut. but famotidine, is for curing ulcers and reducing the gastric juice serection... now, tt really scares me! i betta start looking aft my tummy... eating medication on time. the tot of stomach ulcer n developing into stomach cancer really scares me...
May God, my Lord bless this lost sheep... Amen!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Headache cum hunger pangs cum gastric...
Feel like dying... Dunno whn i started having gastric pains... mayb i din heed the symptoms like burning stomach, hunger pangs, slight sharp jabs on the center, slightly to the left of my stomach area... now i cant get to sleep, accompanied by the heavy headache-ed head! helppppppppp...
so here i am... at this hour, which i should b sleeping, typing in here to waste time... chatting in cobratrivia to waste time too. need to tire myself to get to zzz...
haiz, since whn did my body become a total wreckage?
stress? a bit... not cos of work... but cos of how someone, a colleague, is treatin me... not tt i'm treated badly, but too good in fact... i told a frd abt it, he said, "dun flirt back". pengz... since whn i became an "expert" in this area!? he aso said, "if u wan things to happen in a certain way, think in tt direction. but dun have to think too much aso... if u hope he's not interested in u, think tt he's not, thn can liao..." hopefully tis advice will work cos i'm just not comfy being treated so nice... dun ask me y yet... not in the mood actually to tok abt it rite now.. too stress liao...
the packing on the paracetamol says "cause drowiness" but i feel so awake... haiz... more chatting in trivia...
so here i am... at this hour, which i should b sleeping, typing in here to waste time... chatting in cobratrivia to waste time too. need to tire myself to get to zzz...
haiz, since whn did my body become a total wreckage?
stress? a bit... not cos of work... but cos of how someone, a colleague, is treatin me... not tt i'm treated badly, but too good in fact... i told a frd abt it, he said, "dun flirt back". pengz... since whn i became an "expert" in this area!? he aso said, "if u wan things to happen in a certain way, think in tt direction. but dun have to think too much aso... if u hope he's not interested in u, think tt he's not, thn can liao..." hopefully tis advice will work cos i'm just not comfy being treated so nice... dun ask me y yet... not in the mood actually to tok abt it rite now.. too stress liao...
the packing on the paracetamol says "cause drowiness" but i feel so awake... haiz... more chatting in trivia...
Thursday, September 02, 2004
http://Salisbury.cjb.net
webby of the moment: http://Salisbury.cjb.net
feeling of the moment: sad, depressing: tot i'm over him already... but... silly: y? y? y?
song of the moment: tt song on the webby and Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu...
me of the moment: crying, stoning, blank mind...
feeling of the moment: sad, depressing: tot i'm over him already... but... silly: y? y? y?
song of the moment: tt song on the webby and Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu...
me of the moment: crying, stoning, blank mind...
Friday, August 27, 2004
Good & bad news...
Time for news updates... erm... k, tt's lame...
my contract got renewed... monthly rated now... renewed for a year... so if nothing goes wrong, i'll not be jobless for the next year...
boring life... wake up, work, driving lesson, wash up, sleep... tt's my life for the past few weeks, except for a few days i let myself off, go home early n slack...
next week's screening, 13 going on 30 n alien vs predator... was kinda wishing for stepford wives instead...
ivp starts tmr at np... good luck!
my contract got renewed... monthly rated now... renewed for a year... so if nothing goes wrong, i'll not be jobless for the next year...
boring life... wake up, work, driving lesson, wash up, sleep... tt's my life for the past few weeks, except for a few days i let myself off, go home early n slack...
next week's screening, 13 going on 30 n alien vs predator... was kinda wishing for stepford wives instead...
ivp starts tmr at np... good luck!
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Tired... v.2
Tired... deadbeat... not because I just returned home at 3.30am from mdm wong... For the past few weeks, been taking cab to work cos i jus cant wake up... but i slept early... ard 10... Really can't make it... its like there's no energy in me...
I'm no longer hourly rated... Roy, my boss, has agreed to convert me to monthly rated, tt means a slight pay raise... just whn everything is settled, i received an email thru FSV yahoo grp abt needing pple in SPH. tok abt timing...
zzzzzzzzzz...
I'm no longer hourly rated... Roy, my boss, has agreed to convert me to monthly rated, tt means a slight pay raise... just whn everything is settled, i received an email thru FSV yahoo grp abt needing pple in SPH. tok abt timing...
zzzzzzzzzz...
Monday, August 16, 2004
Thou shall not sleep tonite... Hmm...
Yes yes, wht am i doin here at this pt of time... should be zzz cos i supposed to wake up at 5.30 n go to work. here's r d reasons...
man u just lost to chelsea 1-0 and the match finished just minutes ago...
Lots of swimming olympic finals telecasting rite now...
Telecasting frm athens now is aso a badminton match between our singapore's ronald susilo n world's no. 1, china's lin dan. susilo won the first round 12-15, n leading now 6-10... if he wins this, he'll go on to the nxt round...
Jap vs Italy soccer match, who dun wana watch?!
thou shall not sleep tonite.. thn later i sure jialat jialat liao... the whole day in office sure yawn one... n Ada on Fri say wana date me later, dunno wht's in stall for us aft work.. haha...
bz week ahead of me... tues got training... wed have to pick up pdts n mayb sfs screening, hopefully i can tahan n make it. there's i robot n the notebook. driving lesson on thurs n fri. sat at last can rest, but sun might b gog out wif the gals again.
haha.. now the sg contingent in the stadium singin ole ole.. hahah... score is 10-13 now... aiyoh, i aso a bit kan cheong liao.. haha...
gone thru 3 driving lessons so far. taken d road already! things i have to improve on... steering for sharp bends and my biting point... so paiseh, was trying to find the biting point at a traffic light junction, traffic light (yay!!! susilo won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10-15!!!!!! on to the nxt round!!!) turned green, thn i took a bit long, the stupid driver behind me horn at me!!! warau... thn i said, i "L" plate leh!!! thn my instructor aso laff...
okie.. i got cheated.. the supposed italy n jap match is now morocco n portugal...
thou can sleep... nitezzz...
man u just lost to chelsea 1-0 and the match finished just minutes ago...
Lots of swimming olympic finals telecasting rite now...
Telecasting frm athens now is aso a badminton match between our singapore's ronald susilo n world's no. 1, china's lin dan. susilo won the first round 12-15, n leading now 6-10... if he wins this, he'll go on to the nxt round...
Jap vs Italy soccer match, who dun wana watch?!
thou shall not sleep tonite.. thn later i sure jialat jialat liao... the whole day in office sure yawn one... n Ada on Fri say wana date me later, dunno wht's in stall for us aft work.. haha...
bz week ahead of me... tues got training... wed have to pick up pdts n mayb sfs screening, hopefully i can tahan n make it. there's i robot n the notebook. driving lesson on thurs n fri. sat at last can rest, but sun might b gog out wif the gals again.
haha.. now the sg contingent in the stadium singin ole ole.. hahah... score is 10-13 now... aiyoh, i aso a bit kan cheong liao.. haha...
gone thru 3 driving lessons so far. taken d road already! things i have to improve on... steering for sharp bends and my biting point... so paiseh, was trying to find the biting point at a traffic light junction, traffic light (yay!!! susilo won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10-15!!!!!! on to the nxt round!!!) turned green, thn i took a bit long, the stupid driver behind me horn at me!!! warau... thn i said, i "L" plate leh!!! thn my instructor aso laff...
okie.. i got cheated.. the supposed italy n jap match is now morocco n portugal...
thou can sleep... nitezzz...
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Since 25th Jul...
How should i start this entry... let's date back to 2 sundays ago, 25th Jul...
F.I.R was in town and had a gig at Hard Rock Cafe. It was the first time I'm seeing them n hearin them live. They are fantastic! fabulous! superb! They are like so perfect. One pretty n sweet, the other, cool, the other, drop dead good looking, my ideal guy type...
F=Faye: Pretty n sweet, with a great voice to boot. She has the ability to go solo anytime. She's like A*Mei, sounded betta live rather then cd (although both have diff singing styles) and has great stage presence. I've always tot there are 2 diff type of singers, the performer/ entertainer (read: "idol" type eg, Aaron Kwok in the past when he just started out) and the singer (read: only sing, do nothin else, eg Qi Yu, Cai Qin). Reason I like A*Mei is that she fall into both catergory, so does Faye. When she sang a verse of A*Mei's Lan Tian, she sang it sooo beautifully in her own way.
I=Ian: Lao Shi!!! The brains behind this band. Composer, producer, keyboardist. A*Mei's Lan Tian was done by him too. (tt's y Faye sang it at the gig) Damn cool! Was drooling at his coolness, given his age of 30+. haha... Gotta thank him for bringing them together, without him, there wouldn't be F.I.R.
R=Real aka Ah Qing. This is the drop dead good looker. Stupid photos I've seen of him in the press so far make him look fat n ugly. Mayb cos he has a kinda wide face cos of his jawline. when he smiles, he's cute. When he does not smile, he looks cool n suave. my ideal guy type lah, the kinda guy whose type of look can vary but still good looking lah... He's very very obliging. Call him, he turns n smiles, INTO your cam!!! Damn talented too. If he goes solo, he'll be hot property. he can sing! so wht if he's just a guitarist. He has the voice that really melts you... ahhhhh...
After the gig, it was the autograph session at West Mall. IDIOT warner staff, after I finish toking to lao shi n faye, can tok to ah qing already!!! but, this idiot, ask me how many cd sleeves i brought up thn hurry me off the stage!!! i haven even shook ah qing's hand nor tok to him!!! argh... tt's one disappointing part... another was, i have so many friends in NTU, but none could get tics for the gig at NTU... Q was too long and most had to rush for lessons, some din even bother to reply me!!! grr...
Last sunday, 1st, went for a malay wedding lunch buffet. it was Hamari's son's wedding. supposed to go down to SAJC to mit PJ for a church event, but my head was killing me, tearing me apart. Slept, from 3+, waking up several times for dunno wht reason. In my "blurness", i think i replied sms, drank water n pee-ed... hmm... waking up in the morning 6.30 and took a cab to work the next day...
Tuesday, went down to NP for training. Got schedules for IVP, so i can book my driving lessons accordingly. After training, i went home, din go eat, zzz... woke up to watch man u play psv. after tt, wnt to work as usual. after work, wnt to pick up my lenses, went home change shoe cos heel came off, a bit risky to wear them walking ard in town. wnt to mit him (him lah...) for SFS core screening of Brotherhood.
Review of Brotherhood: I liked it, but he din. was crying like hell. the plot was very pacy, thus whn the characters "grew" it seemed very fast n choppy. it also seemed like the director was trying to squeeze Band of Brothers into a 2 and a half hours movie. the cinematography was also very similar to BOB. but overall, its a good movie. teaches us one important thing, if u treasure the person close to you, nvr flare up or quarrel wif him/her. if there are misunderstandings, tok it out n clear it. cos u'll nvr know whether u'll c him/her again the nxt day, that's whn u'll regret...
Went for my first practical driving lesson today. need to work on my footwork n steering. i have bad road sense... :-(
I've been thinking a lot after the movie, dunno excately what, but it just links from one thing to another. in the end, i "settled" on 2 quotes that i've seen n heard...
"The furthest distance is that when I'm beside you, you don't even know it."
"Friends, I'd rather be. Lovers, I'd rather not. Cos lovers last for a while, while friends last forever."
With this, i'm tellin myself to be more hard hearted in love cos "friends" will definately last longer then "lovers"...
F.I.R was in town and had a gig at Hard Rock Cafe. It was the first time I'm seeing them n hearin them live. They are fantastic! fabulous! superb! They are like so perfect. One pretty n sweet, the other, cool, the other, drop dead good looking, my ideal guy type...
F=Faye: Pretty n sweet, with a great voice to boot. She has the ability to go solo anytime. She's like A*Mei, sounded betta live rather then cd (although both have diff singing styles) and has great stage presence. I've always tot there are 2 diff type of singers, the performer/ entertainer (read: "idol" type eg, Aaron Kwok in the past when he just started out) and the singer (read: only sing, do nothin else, eg Qi Yu, Cai Qin). Reason I like A*Mei is that she fall into both catergory, so does Faye. When she sang a verse of A*Mei's Lan Tian, she sang it sooo beautifully in her own way.
I=Ian: Lao Shi!!! The brains behind this band. Composer, producer, keyboardist. A*Mei's Lan Tian was done by him too. (tt's y Faye sang it at the gig) Damn cool! Was drooling at his coolness, given his age of 30+. haha... Gotta thank him for bringing them together, without him, there wouldn't be F.I.R.
R=Real aka Ah Qing. This is the drop dead good looker. Stupid photos I've seen of him in the press so far make him look fat n ugly. Mayb cos he has a kinda wide face cos of his jawline. when he smiles, he's cute. When he does not smile, he looks cool n suave. my ideal guy type lah, the kinda guy whose type of look can vary but still good looking lah... He's very very obliging. Call him, he turns n smiles, INTO your cam!!! Damn talented too. If he goes solo, he'll be hot property. he can sing! so wht if he's just a guitarist. He has the voice that really melts you... ahhhhh...
After the gig, it was the autograph session at West Mall. IDIOT warner staff, after I finish toking to lao shi n faye, can tok to ah qing already!!! but, this idiot, ask me how many cd sleeves i brought up thn hurry me off the stage!!! i haven even shook ah qing's hand nor tok to him!!! argh... tt's one disappointing part... another was, i have so many friends in NTU, but none could get tics for the gig at NTU... Q was too long and most had to rush for lessons, some din even bother to reply me!!! grr...
Last sunday, 1st, went for a malay wedding lunch buffet. it was Hamari's son's wedding. supposed to go down to SAJC to mit PJ for a church event, but my head was killing me, tearing me apart. Slept, from 3+, waking up several times for dunno wht reason. In my "blurness", i think i replied sms, drank water n pee-ed... hmm... waking up in the morning 6.30 and took a cab to work the next day...
Tuesday, went down to NP for training. Got schedules for IVP, so i can book my driving lessons accordingly. After training, i went home, din go eat, zzz... woke up to watch man u play psv. after tt, wnt to work as usual. after work, wnt to pick up my lenses, went home change shoe cos heel came off, a bit risky to wear them walking ard in town. wnt to mit him (him lah...) for SFS core screening of Brotherhood.
Review of Brotherhood: I liked it, but he din. was crying like hell. the plot was very pacy, thus whn the characters "grew" it seemed very fast n choppy. it also seemed like the director was trying to squeeze Band of Brothers into a 2 and a half hours movie. the cinematography was also very similar to BOB. but overall, its a good movie. teaches us one important thing, if u treasure the person close to you, nvr flare up or quarrel wif him/her. if there are misunderstandings, tok it out n clear it. cos u'll nvr know whether u'll c him/her again the nxt day, that's whn u'll regret...
Went for my first practical driving lesson today. need to work on my footwork n steering. i have bad road sense... :-(
I've been thinking a lot after the movie, dunno excately what, but it just links from one thing to another. in the end, i "settled" on 2 quotes that i've seen n heard...
"The furthest distance is that when I'm beside you, you don't even know it."
"Friends, I'd rather be. Lovers, I'd rather not. Cos lovers last for a while, while friends last forever."
With this, i'm tellin myself to be more hard hearted in love cos "friends" will definately last longer then "lovers"...
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Superb F.I.R
F.I.R! Superb! Saw them on Sunday... But... no mood to write abt them now...
Was reading newpaper just now. There was a report on a camp organised by NTU sports club. Gals sitting on guys lap on the bus, n thy wnt to the beach, paired up... Guys taking off their trunks at a beach, bet the gals were wearin their skimpiest bikinis... my heart sank... whn i asked abt the camp, he only said thy tried new sports, nothing else... i rather he tell me everything...
really feeling damn fucking lousy now... haiz...
Was reading newpaper just now. There was a report on a camp organised by NTU sports club. Gals sitting on guys lap on the bus, n thy wnt to the beach, paired up... Guys taking off their trunks at a beach, bet the gals were wearin their skimpiest bikinis... my heart sank... whn i asked abt the camp, he only said thy tried new sports, nothing else... i rather he tell me everything...
really feeling damn fucking lousy now... haiz...
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Wondering too much...
Stupid irritating headache... but still got to mit him, a day later... Seemed to have lost weight, mayb cos he's tanner... but still looks so good... got these black bands round his wrists, rarely c him wear such stuff.
Life seems so happenin for him, compared to me, living in misery... has he forgotten me n our times together? doesn't he think of me at all? afterall, i'm no longer on his hp wallpaper, wondered whn he changed it... whn we just broke up, it was still there. Wondered if he even deleted the photo from his phone.
computer screensaver... wonder if he changed it too... wondering if "piggy: muacks" is still spinning on his screen...
wondering too much... mayb i should jus go zzz... school is starting next week, he'll get to know more pple, more GALS... i guess he already got to know some now, during his recent sports camp... has he fancy anyone yet?
ARGH!!!
Life seems so happenin for him, compared to me, living in misery... has he forgotten me n our times together? doesn't he think of me at all? afterall, i'm no longer on his hp wallpaper, wondered whn he changed it... whn we just broke up, it was still there. Wondered if he even deleted the photo from his phone.
computer screensaver... wonder if he changed it too... wondering if "piggy: muacks" is still spinning on his screen...
wondering too much... mayb i should jus go zzz... school is starting next week, he'll get to know more pple, more GALS... i guess he already got to know some now, during his recent sports camp... has he fancy anyone yet?
ARGH!!!
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Not dead... Still alive...
Haven't written in a long time, but i'm not dead yet... still around, still alive, still miserable, still sad, still numb, still crying... still trying to keep myself noisy at work, cos if i'm too quiet, my colleagues will know i'm not rite... like wht Faridah say, if dun hear my voice, means something not rite. Motherly feeling she has there, i guess... which is actually quite true...
Been keeping myself busy... Shopping, registering with BBDC, taking passport photo, working, watchin tv, searching for songs on kazaa, blah blah... but, not excately busy enuff to stop thinking of him...
Been tryin to fall asleep every nite, but i had to cry first. after tossin n turning or pretending to be dead, thn i'll manage to fall asleep. and whn i do, its not deep sleep, somehow or rather, i'm like half awake cos i cant feel myself sleeping. messy dreams i'm having... no recollection of wht's gog on, but the scenes are always blurry, with loads of things n colours in them, switching scenes n places like no one's business. Thn my alarm sounds at 5.30, with me wakin up thinkin if i had indeed fell ASLEEP... hit the snooze for another 5 mins, n tt's whn i fall ASLEEP, waking up only at 6... Whn i'm in the office, i try so hard to keep my eyes open... n after work whn i reach home, i'm wide awake... haiz...
mayb i accidently hit my head or something while sleeping... always feels heavy... its like there's something always nudging the interiors... Gloria Gaynor sings I will survive... hope i will...
Sumantri came back to the plant for another 2 weeks after he gone back to indonesia. next week is his last week cos sch re-opening the following week. so is sabrina, our cute, lively, bubbly production planner... she's also leaving soon. although i'm not tt close to her, i'm gonna miss her cos not many pple in the plant have a "2" in front of their age with the same kinda talking frequency... after she moves to harbourfront, there'll be one gal less and one guy more!!! cos a guy called terrence will be taking over her position.
so, we had a farewell dinner just now for sabby. she sent me home after that. talked to her quite a bit in the car. if i really wana drop everything n go away, she'll be the one i need to tok to. she really talks sense and i almost cried in the car. i din tell her much, but like wht i said, we have the same talking freq. somehow or rather, wht she said really kicks the inner deeper thoughts of mine which i nvr really bothered. abt how gog away for a degree is good... abt how i should really sit down one day to think wht i really want and how i can achieve them... abt how gog away without any strings attached over here would be better... all the inner deep down buried thoughts which i nvr had to courage to ponder on them......
felt that i almost fainted today at home... was sitting down, wearing my shoe, beinding over to adjust the tongue of my shoe. whn i stood up, whole world was spinning and i almost fell back to the sofa. wht's the fucking problem with me?! haiz... mayb cos getting old... in the past i dun have this kinda spinning thingy...
Havent seen or heard from him... hopefully he can make it for the screenings nxt week... (baby) cya then...
Been keeping myself busy... Shopping, registering with BBDC, taking passport photo, working, watchin tv, searching for songs on kazaa, blah blah... but, not excately busy enuff to stop thinking of him...
Been tryin to fall asleep every nite, but i had to cry first. after tossin n turning or pretending to be dead, thn i'll manage to fall asleep. and whn i do, its not deep sleep, somehow or rather, i'm like half awake cos i cant feel myself sleeping. messy dreams i'm having... no recollection of wht's gog on, but the scenes are always blurry, with loads of things n colours in them, switching scenes n places like no one's business. Thn my alarm sounds at 5.30, with me wakin up thinkin if i had indeed fell ASLEEP... hit the snooze for another 5 mins, n tt's whn i fall ASLEEP, waking up only at 6... Whn i'm in the office, i try so hard to keep my eyes open... n after work whn i reach home, i'm wide awake... haiz...
mayb i accidently hit my head or something while sleeping... always feels heavy... its like there's something always nudging the interiors... Gloria Gaynor sings I will survive... hope i will...
Sumantri came back to the plant for another 2 weeks after he gone back to indonesia. next week is his last week cos sch re-opening the following week. so is sabrina, our cute, lively, bubbly production planner... she's also leaving soon. although i'm not tt close to her, i'm gonna miss her cos not many pple in the plant have a "2" in front of their age with the same kinda talking frequency... after she moves to harbourfront, there'll be one gal less and one guy more!!! cos a guy called terrence will be taking over her position.
so, we had a farewell dinner just now for sabby. she sent me home after that. talked to her quite a bit in the car. if i really wana drop everything n go away, she'll be the one i need to tok to. she really talks sense and i almost cried in the car. i din tell her much, but like wht i said, we have the same talking freq. somehow or rather, wht she said really kicks the inner deeper thoughts of mine which i nvr really bothered. abt how gog away for a degree is good... abt how i should really sit down one day to think wht i really want and how i can achieve them... abt how gog away without any strings attached over here would be better... all the inner deep down buried thoughts which i nvr had to courage to ponder on them......
felt that i almost fainted today at home... was sitting down, wearing my shoe, beinding over to adjust the tongue of my shoe. whn i stood up, whole world was spinning and i almost fell back to the sofa. wht's the fucking problem with me?! haiz... mayb cos getting old... in the past i dun have this kinda spinning thingy...
Havent seen or heard from him... hopefully he can make it for the screenings nxt week... (baby) cya then...
Friday, July 02, 2004
Feeling fucked up...
Am i fickled minded... first i dread OT cos it was so tirin... now i'm fucking bored n i miss OT.
Honestly, i miss him even more... haiz... doesn't help whn he's not going for the screening next wed...
Where do broken hearts go...
How do u mend the broken hearted?
the drop-dead feeling overwhelms again... fucked up true blue cancerian thingy, feeling miserable over a small thing. y do i love this guy so much?! i hate it... i really do! y can't i be the sort who can take things easily? y am i fucking born in the month of june?!
feelin so fucked up... tryin so hard to keep myself bz, but wht can i do? haiz...
Honestly, i miss him even more... haiz... doesn't help whn he's not going for the screening next wed...
Where do broken hearts go...
How do u mend the broken hearted?
the drop-dead feeling overwhelms again... fucked up true blue cancerian thingy, feeling miserable over a small thing. y do i love this guy so much?! i hate it... i really do! y can't i be the sort who can take things easily? y am i fucking born in the month of june?!
feelin so fucked up... tryin so hard to keep myself bz, but wht can i do? haiz...
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Power Trip
Got caught in the stupid power trip ystday nite which affected half of singapore.
dunno wht else to write... life's in a void now... gotta sleep soon cos euro semi-finals is on later...
dunno wht else to write... life's in a void now... gotta sleep soon cos euro semi-finals is on later...
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
OT & OT
Fucking tired... sleepy... OT n OT... when i wan it, i dun have it... whn i dun wan it, i have it... Been knocking off at an average of 8pm since last monday... tmr will be another long day... 99.9% i'll be taking a cab, again...
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Sad endings...
My Sassy Girl, its supposed to be a comedy... but for a third time i'm watching it, i'm still crying... the characters have a happy ending, but i dun...
Just like at ktv ystday... i was singing ting bu dao... those who has seen the mtv will know its done to tell a story. as i was singing sad songs thruout the nite, someone (i forgot whom) teased me saying, sad song again... xiang said it was a happy ending in the end... i looked at him n said, but i got sad ending...
If you're reading this, you know who you are. I really dun have the courage to tell u that I still love you a lot... I still love you deeply. I miss you, your hugs, your kisses... I miss the feeling of having you beside me... I've nvr felt so so bad b4. Guess i've fallen hard... *smack* deep hard...
Usually i'll fall into my "ideal" guy trap, where i'm distracted by this "ideal" and would treat my bf a little cold or even comtemplate leaving him... and somehow this guy just appeared. and he is more ideal then my "ideal"... But its just weird that this fella cant even distract me away from you. I admit, i was kinda attracted to him, but that attraction did not develop into any liking or feelings at all... it just made me feel guilty... guilty cos i know i still love you and that you're the only one in my heart. that attraction did nothing but pushed me more towards you...
Mayb cos i really loved you too deeply... But i guess i'll be ok... i'm wounded now but wounds will heal... i'm sad now, but sadness will fade... my heart is bleeding now, but (hopefully) soon it will stop. but it'll take a while... for how long? i have no idea... on a light note, u're the record breaker... breaking the record for the guy i cried the most for...
Just like at ktv ystday... i was singing ting bu dao... those who has seen the mtv will know its done to tell a story. as i was singing sad songs thruout the nite, someone (i forgot whom) teased me saying, sad song again... xiang said it was a happy ending in the end... i looked at him n said, but i got sad ending...
If you're reading this, you know who you are. I really dun have the courage to tell u that I still love you a lot... I still love you deeply. I miss you, your hugs, your kisses... I miss the feeling of having you beside me... I've nvr felt so so bad b4. Guess i've fallen hard... *smack* deep hard...
Usually i'll fall into my "ideal" guy trap, where i'm distracted by this "ideal" and would treat my bf a little cold or even comtemplate leaving him... and somehow this guy just appeared. and he is more ideal then my "ideal"... But its just weird that this fella cant even distract me away from you. I admit, i was kinda attracted to him, but that attraction did not develop into any liking or feelings at all... it just made me feel guilty... guilty cos i know i still love you and that you're the only one in my heart. that attraction did nothing but pushed me more towards you...
Mayb cos i really loved you too deeply... But i guess i'll be ok... i'm wounded now but wounds will heal... i'm sad now, but sadness will fade... my heart is bleeding now, but (hopefully) soon it will stop. but it'll take a while... for how long? i have no idea... on a light note, u're the record breaker... breaking the record for the guy i cried the most for...
Friday, June 25, 2004
Happy Birthday to me...
Penalty shootouts and england.. dun go at all... its like a "tradition" thing. haiz... n we still had to go into it after drawing protugal in extra time...
My bday... my colleagues organised to drive out of office to eat lunch. Not often we do that. and it was a treat! hehe...
in the evening we wnt karaoke... all commented y such a happy occasion, i sing sad sad songs... I can only try to stay n look happy for the time being, but actually my heart is bleeding inside. After he called to say happy birthday, i broke down. half of me was hoping he'll sms happy bday. half of me was hoping he would ask if i was still angry... but he called... to wish n to ask... n i just broke down...
everyone in the room knew i cried... those sitting beside me were xiang n faridah. faridah put her arms ard me while i broke down, n i could only cover my face with my windbreaker. xiang could only say, today yr bday, dun cry... jing ge ge later told me whn on the cab home that xiang scared gals cry... heh... my 2 big kor kor in the company (thy always look out for me) jing ge ge n bob can only look at me to c if i'm ok cos thy sitting not very near...
today see those ntu pple last day... with them more lively more fun cos thy ard my age... n aso one less person to look out for me... jing ge ge has always been there for me, telling me to keep out of certain pple or who to be wary of, n listenin to me n my probs. xiang dunno head dunno tail, but know a bit of wht's going on n still can console me... not too close to sumantri though, but i know he's a big joker... gonna miss the 3 of them...
My bday... my colleagues organised to drive out of office to eat lunch. Not often we do that. and it was a treat! hehe...
in the evening we wnt karaoke... all commented y such a happy occasion, i sing sad sad songs... I can only try to stay n look happy for the time being, but actually my heart is bleeding inside. After he called to say happy birthday, i broke down. half of me was hoping he'll sms happy bday. half of me was hoping he would ask if i was still angry... but he called... to wish n to ask... n i just broke down...
everyone in the room knew i cried... those sitting beside me were xiang n faridah. faridah put her arms ard me while i broke down, n i could only cover my face with my windbreaker. xiang could only say, today yr bday, dun cry... jing ge ge later told me whn on the cab home that xiang scared gals cry... heh... my 2 big kor kor in the company (thy always look out for me) jing ge ge n bob can only look at me to c if i'm ok cos thy sitting not very near...
today see those ntu pple last day... with them more lively more fun cos thy ard my age... n aso one less person to look out for me... jing ge ge has always been there for me, telling me to keep out of certain pple or who to be wary of, n listenin to me n my probs. xiang dunno head dunno tail, but know a bit of wht's going on n still can console me... not too close to sumantri though, but i know he's a big joker... gonna miss the 3 of them...
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Pissssssssssssssssssssssed.............
Servers gettin bz nowdays. Had to refresh soooooo many times in order to post. Not just today. Tried for a few days liao... In the midst, I forgot wht i wana write but there's something i wun forget to...
i wan to write abt a fucked up inconsiderate childish brainless idiotic bitch. (tt's the least of adjectives to describe abt her, wana give her some face n respect...) Here's wht happen...
my hp rings... displaying "Jester"...
me: hello? hello?
background: (in chinese) Yijie, i dun care, i wan you to explain matters to her (repeatedly)
me: hello? hello?
phone gets cut off...
When i called back, this ex-bf (we just broke up 2 sundays ago) could only jus say tt she was drunk, his hp was just lying around n it was meant as a joke. A joke!??!?! my goodness! lame excuse rite? joke or not, I was so fucking pissed (which i dunn think my ex-bf understand y) that i wanted her to apologise to me, which she did 2 hours later with a fucked up attititude, which i tot y in the first place she even bothered. by the way, he hung up the phone on me too...
I was pissed cos i still love this guy a lot n he repeatedly told me tt was no 3rd party.
2nd reason i was pissed cos i cant imagine someone ard my age, drunk or not, would do this kinda stupid thing... Imagine her doing this to a couple who still love each other (not me lah) who are in a midst of cold war, i think she would just end things for them, not just end the cold war...
3rd reason, my ex-bf not explaining matters much, n it din help that whn i was tokin to him, that fucker was saying these in chinese in the background "yijie, u tok to her the whole day, wht abt me?", "yijie, tell her straight lah...".
4th reason, ANY ONE should know not to crack this kinda jokes to couples or couples who just broke up not long ago. If this has happened a whole month later, it would have no effect on me.
So far in year 2004, i've nvr been soooo pissed. More pissed whn some idiot took so long to realease my PRs. I could feel my blood pressure going up! Honestly, i'm still pissed cos nothing has been explained so far n i'm still waiting to hear the "story"
i wan to write abt a fucked up inconsiderate childish brainless idiotic bitch. (tt's the least of adjectives to describe abt her, wana give her some face n respect...) Here's wht happen...
my hp rings... displaying "Jester"...
me: hello? hello?
background: (in chinese) Yijie, i dun care, i wan you to explain matters to her (repeatedly)
me: hello? hello?
phone gets cut off...
When i called back, this ex-bf (we just broke up 2 sundays ago) could only jus say tt she was drunk, his hp was just lying around n it was meant as a joke. A joke!??!?! my goodness! lame excuse rite? joke or not, I was so fucking pissed (which i dunn think my ex-bf understand y) that i wanted her to apologise to me, which she did 2 hours later with a fucked up attititude, which i tot y in the first place she even bothered. by the way, he hung up the phone on me too...
I was pissed cos i still love this guy a lot n he repeatedly told me tt was no 3rd party.
2nd reason i was pissed cos i cant imagine someone ard my age, drunk or not, would do this kinda stupid thing... Imagine her doing this to a couple who still love each other (not me lah) who are in a midst of cold war, i think she would just end things for them, not just end the cold war...
3rd reason, my ex-bf not explaining matters much, n it din help that whn i was tokin to him, that fucker was saying these in chinese in the background "yijie, u tok to her the whole day, wht abt me?", "yijie, tell her straight lah...".
4th reason, ANY ONE should know not to crack this kinda jokes to couples or couples who just broke up not long ago. If this has happened a whole month later, it would have no effect on me.
So far in year 2004, i've nvr been soooo pissed. More pissed whn some idiot took so long to realease my PRs. I could feel my blood pressure going up! Honestly, i'm still pissed cos nothing has been explained so far n i'm still waiting to hear the "story"
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
England's shock defeat... Speechless...
From 3 points to a big fat zero...
penalties are 50-50 kinda thing. its either u win or lose the guessing game... dun blame becks...
tackles are 50-50 kinda thing. its either the fella trips or falls or not... dun blame heskey...
backpasses... its a clever thing or not. from 3 to 1 point to a big fat zero, blame him, steven gerrard...
with few seconds remaining, whether or not u're contend with that one point or u wana try for 3 points again, u play forward... whr got pple backpass in the last few seconds of the game one?!?! k, now there's a fucking idiot who did that... Steven Gerrard. btw, did i mention he's a liverpui player? guess he left his brains in anfield. either that, he's of french descent...
n bcos of that fucking stupid idiotic backpass, david james indirectly conceded a penalty... zico won the guessing game and england lost... after the penalty was conceded, i was already shouting n scolding away in my most colourful language. din help that the penalty was scored and my dad was woken up...
Pls ban gerrard from future england games... once is enuff... either that, buy another air ticket to fly his brains from anfield to lisbon by thursday...
SPEECHLESS...
penalties are 50-50 kinda thing. its either u win or lose the guessing game... dun blame becks...
tackles are 50-50 kinda thing. its either the fella trips or falls or not... dun blame heskey...
backpasses... its a clever thing or not. from 3 to 1 point to a big fat zero, blame him, steven gerrard...
with few seconds remaining, whether or not u're contend with that one point or u wana try for 3 points again, u play forward... whr got pple backpass in the last few seconds of the game one?!?! k, now there's a fucking idiot who did that... Steven Gerrard. btw, did i mention he's a liverpui player? guess he left his brains in anfield. either that, he's of french descent...
n bcos of that fucking stupid idiotic backpass, david james indirectly conceded a penalty... zico won the guessing game and england lost... after the penalty was conceded, i was already shouting n scolding away in my most colourful language. din help that the penalty was scored and my dad was woken up...
Pls ban gerrard from future england games... once is enuff... either that, buy another air ticket to fly his brains from anfield to lisbon by thursday...
SPEECHLESS...
Monday, June 14, 2004
Drunk enough to be sober...
Been quite some time since i updated my diary. Decided to come in here to blabber a bit b4 the the england ns france match.
painted my nails just now... been a long time since i painted my nails... painting nails is such a thereputic thing... managed to calm down a little...
Friday nite, on the 11th, went to cheong again wif the mei chin pple. john's bday was on the 12th, and we got him really drunk. guess it'll be the same for me 2 wkends later, on my bady... we wnt mdm wong, music was great, some sort like chinajump n chinablack, retro, top 40's, r&b, hip hop kinda... really controlled my drinking. drunk enough to have enough courage to thnk thru certain things... drunk enough to be sober enuff to make sure i can think them thru. n i had to be sober enuff cos bday boy was sure to be drunk and another frd was gog thru a tough time wif a guy... that remains 5 pple to take care of us, if i really got drunk, so i cant afford to get drunk rite?
Head was throbbing madly but luckily i din puke. same kinda throbbing head on the may 16th whn i went to dbl o wif jing ge ge, wx and wx's frds, but no puke this time round. i had to stay up n stay sober and not puke. had to hide the sad fact of life from this group of frds whom i dun really c much...
Slept the whole nite thru on sat, missing the opening matches for euro... woke up only at 1pm on sunday. crazy me, sleep so much...went to bed again in the evening... so i can get enuff zzz to last me thru till i knock off work later. n i did something drastic... i let go...i really did... at last... been holding on for too long... at last i had the courage. nvr mind that i'll be depressed n risk gog back to the dark pit, i had to... i really had to...
whoever's gog to cheong wif me on my bday wkend, pls take care of me... i'll not control liao... i think i cant control aso, sure kena made drunk by these pple... guess i'll b dead drunk n would need help gog home. i think i will... let the drinks pour...
painted my nails just now... been a long time since i painted my nails... painting nails is such a thereputic thing... managed to calm down a little...
Friday nite, on the 11th, went to cheong again wif the mei chin pple. john's bday was on the 12th, and we got him really drunk. guess it'll be the same for me 2 wkends later, on my bady... we wnt mdm wong, music was great, some sort like chinajump n chinablack, retro, top 40's, r&b, hip hop kinda... really controlled my drinking. drunk enough to have enough courage to thnk thru certain things... drunk enough to be sober enuff to make sure i can think them thru. n i had to be sober enuff cos bday boy was sure to be drunk and another frd was gog thru a tough time wif a guy... that remains 5 pple to take care of us, if i really got drunk, so i cant afford to get drunk rite?
Head was throbbing madly but luckily i din puke. same kinda throbbing head on the may 16th whn i went to dbl o wif jing ge ge, wx and wx's frds, but no puke this time round. i had to stay up n stay sober and not puke. had to hide the sad fact of life from this group of frds whom i dun really c much...
Slept the whole nite thru on sat, missing the opening matches for euro... woke up only at 1pm on sunday. crazy me, sleep so much...went to bed again in the evening... so i can get enuff zzz to last me thru till i knock off work later. n i did something drastic... i let go...i really did... at last... been holding on for too long... at last i had the courage. nvr mind that i'll be depressed n risk gog back to the dark pit, i had to... i really had to...
whoever's gog to cheong wif me on my bday wkend, pls take care of me... i'll not control liao... i think i cant control aso, sure kena made drunk by these pple... guess i'll b dead drunk n would need help gog home. i think i will... let the drinks pour...
Saturday, June 05, 2004
F.I.R, the Fairyland In Reality...
Listening to F.I.R's album, my sis bought it so i borrowed it from her. the entire album is making me cry. Every single song, yes every single one... I'm like being possessed. Every song is like telling me to buck up and move on, givin me strength. Been listening to them in the office for the past few days too, the entire day, putting the disc on repeat mode. repeating the songs non-stop. From Fly Away, Lydia, Liu Lang Zhe Zhi Ge, Wo Men De Ai, Guang Mang, Ni De Wei Xiao, Ta Luo Pai, Huo Le Yuan, Revolution to You Make Me Want To Fall In Love.
The first 5 are the "waking up", true-to-fact and strength giving songs... Ni De Wei Xiao is abt my feelings for Baby... Ta Luo Pai is giving a bit of strength telling me my future is how i wan it to be, not in control of others... Huo Le Yuan is abt my feelings of loss... Revolution is abt breaking free... Last one is almost like my final words, final comments, like a wrap up... Even the track layout is so tied into my feelings, my emotions.
mayb is the "rock" to it, i can shout out the lyrics and my fustrations and go hey-wire, shaking my head, jumping up and down with it. F.I.R, the Fairyland In Reality... I want that fairyland soon, i need to leave, far far away... very very far away... that way, that fairyland will become a reality...
The first 5 are the "waking up", true-to-fact and strength giving songs... Ni De Wei Xiao is abt my feelings for Baby... Ta Luo Pai is giving a bit of strength telling me my future is how i wan it to be, not in control of others... Huo Le Yuan is abt my feelings of loss... Revolution is abt breaking free... Last one is almost like my final words, final comments, like a wrap up... Even the track layout is so tied into my feelings, my emotions.
mayb is the "rock" to it, i can shout out the lyrics and my fustrations and go hey-wire, shaking my head, jumping up and down with it. F.I.R, the Fairyland In Reality... I want that fairyland soon, i need to leave, far far away... very very far away... that way, that fairyland will become a reality...
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
True blue cancerian
A few more minutes b4 England vs Japan friendly. decided to blabber here for a while.
My sis was watching a taiwanese serial just now. within 2 discs, 2 episodes, 2 hours, i went thru a lot of thoughts. thoughts that will sadden me. thoughts that will make me cry. plus the fact that i wasn't feelin at all too good.
sunday night, reached home n was thinking abt some stuff. maybe i think too much tts y fell sick eventually. was sneezing since friday...
monday, slept during lunch. colleague called me up 3 times, but i din even wake up. guess the medicine really made me drowsy. too heavy a head, too drowsy to think abt anything at all... slept early...
whn i reached home just now, i shed a few tears quietly in my room. i really need to break down... but melissa manchester sings "dun cry out loud, just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings... fly high and proud, and if you shld fall, remb you almost had it all" so i held back.
held back all the way till abt 1.30. after watching the vcds. since i know my parents wun be sleeping soon, i had to keep myself occupied. so i got dad to drive us out for supper. now that thy're asleep, i can cry out loud at last.
i'm a true blue cancerian. n i really HATE it. y am i a cancerian? mayb i shld stop saying all these to prevent self fulfilling prophecies. but SFP or not, i very, extremely sentimental n emotional. isn't tt wht a cancerian really is like? c, its not SFP...
i would still think abt the things and feelings that happened eons ago... Like the park at my place whr i used to hang out wif L. the spot at ex-WTC, now habourfront, whr i held F for the last time. that feeling i had whn i n C first held hands. I and Baby's first kiss at hotel new world in genting. is everyone like tt, or am i the only one?
Mayb i know y i like F.I.R's songs now. listen to their "lydia" and "fly away", thy r comforting yet strong at the same time. Used to find comfort in Liang Jing Ru's songs but thy make me cry. F.I.R is diff, yes, i still cry, but thy tok abt strenghtening yrself up and leave the past BEHIND... something which i cant do...
d taiwanese serial set me thinkin too. Like i had said b4... Things will not always happen in the way you want it to happen... Love is something that can't be controlled, you can only supress it... No point asking why or how come, just do your best to solve the problem... Love is difficult subject, but people still pass it with flying colours afterall, cos they made the effort... The serial has its characters gog thru these in just those 2 epis.
Sometimes things are done in a spur of moment, but after some time has past n some careful consideration, mayb it was a wrong taken step... since it was a wrong taken step, do u just forget everything tt has happened, blank out that period of time and revert back to the "good old days"? i would prefer that to happen, but am i able to do it? yes, i think i could... but u cant stop me from thinking and feeling the past, aft all i'm a true blue cancerian... but it still takes 2 hands to clap...
23rd bday resolution... Dont leave WIF the past, leave them BEHIND. so find me a noisy or quiet place on tt day n bring me there. like a pub or east coast. let me shout the past and the nite away... hmm, east coast wif planes flying by sounds good. quiet enough to cry, noisy enough to shout. but i need a shoulder (to cry), tissues (to wipe my tears) and a chauffeur (a gal alone at east coast at nite is very dangerous and cab fare is expensive... i live in the WEST). any volunteers?
My sis was watching a taiwanese serial just now. within 2 discs, 2 episodes, 2 hours, i went thru a lot of thoughts. thoughts that will sadden me. thoughts that will make me cry. plus the fact that i wasn't feelin at all too good.
sunday night, reached home n was thinking abt some stuff. maybe i think too much tts y fell sick eventually. was sneezing since friday...
monday, slept during lunch. colleague called me up 3 times, but i din even wake up. guess the medicine really made me drowsy. too heavy a head, too drowsy to think abt anything at all... slept early...
whn i reached home just now, i shed a few tears quietly in my room. i really need to break down... but melissa manchester sings "dun cry out loud, just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings... fly high and proud, and if you shld fall, remb you almost had it all" so i held back.
held back all the way till abt 1.30. after watching the vcds. since i know my parents wun be sleeping soon, i had to keep myself occupied. so i got dad to drive us out for supper. now that thy're asleep, i can cry out loud at last.
i'm a true blue cancerian. n i really HATE it. y am i a cancerian? mayb i shld stop saying all these to prevent self fulfilling prophecies. but SFP or not, i very, extremely sentimental n emotional. isn't tt wht a cancerian really is like? c, its not SFP...
i would still think abt the things and feelings that happened eons ago... Like the park at my place whr i used to hang out wif L. the spot at ex-WTC, now habourfront, whr i held F for the last time. that feeling i had whn i n C first held hands. I and Baby's first kiss at hotel new world in genting. is everyone like tt, or am i the only one?
Mayb i know y i like F.I.R's songs now. listen to their "lydia" and "fly away", thy r comforting yet strong at the same time. Used to find comfort in Liang Jing Ru's songs but thy make me cry. F.I.R is diff, yes, i still cry, but thy tok abt strenghtening yrself up and leave the past BEHIND... something which i cant do...
d taiwanese serial set me thinkin too. Like i had said b4... Things will not always happen in the way you want it to happen... Love is something that can't be controlled, you can only supress it... No point asking why or how come, just do your best to solve the problem... Love is difficult subject, but people still pass it with flying colours afterall, cos they made the effort... The serial has its characters gog thru these in just those 2 epis.
Sometimes things are done in a spur of moment, but after some time has past n some careful consideration, mayb it was a wrong taken step... since it was a wrong taken step, do u just forget everything tt has happened, blank out that period of time and revert back to the "good old days"? i would prefer that to happen, but am i able to do it? yes, i think i could... but u cant stop me from thinking and feeling the past, aft all i'm a true blue cancerian... but it still takes 2 hands to clap...
23rd bday resolution... Dont leave WIF the past, leave them BEHIND. so find me a noisy or quiet place on tt day n bring me there. like a pub or east coast. let me shout the past and the nite away... hmm, east coast wif planes flying by sounds good. quiet enough to cry, noisy enough to shout. but i need a shoulder (to cry), tissues (to wipe my tears) and a chauffeur (a gal alone at east coast at nite is very dangerous and cab fare is expensive... i live in the WEST). any volunteers?
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Splits ends no more...
Just got back from a hair cut. Too many split ends for me to endure already.
There's a prob wif my hp... sometimes the reception just "turns off" for a few seconds. SMSes dun get sent out easily, always have an error msg... all these happened after i dropped my hp on the mrt. hmm... time for my hp to c a doc?
need to buy the cable soon. been happy snapping at stuff n i think i just wana save everything on the comp asap... just in case i wana snap something n no more space on the phone to save.
bored.... damn bored... sky look very threatening... wana rain, rain lah!!! thn whn i leave the hse later no need to carry umbrella.. hurhur... a bit sleepy too... hmm.. mayb i should after i bathe...
k, bathe thn take a nap b4 gog out... or should i just go zzz first? haiz... scared got irritating small bits of hair leh... argh!
*poof*
There's a prob wif my hp... sometimes the reception just "turns off" for a few seconds. SMSes dun get sent out easily, always have an error msg... all these happened after i dropped my hp on the mrt. hmm... time for my hp to c a doc?
need to buy the cable soon. been happy snapping at stuff n i think i just wana save everything on the comp asap... just in case i wana snap something n no more space on the phone to save.
bored.... damn bored... sky look very threatening... wana rain, rain lah!!! thn whn i leave the hse later no need to carry umbrella.. hurhur... a bit sleepy too... hmm.. mayb i should after i bathe...
k, bathe thn take a nap b4 gog out... or should i just go zzz first? haiz... scared got irritating small bits of hair leh... argh!
*poof*
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Bored...
Those who like j-pop will like a new group called F.I.R. Btw, thy r a taiwanese group. Heard their songs and was amazed how jap sounding it was. No, not covers. Originals composed by themselves... Power!
Mayb i should make use of this boredom to do something... but, damn sian aso... haiz... wana train, but dunno how to "open mouth" n thick-skinly go down to SRC... wana learn driving, but no money... room's quite neat, to my standard, so no need cleaning up...
usually after 2-3 nights of sleeping at 12am, i'll need to desprately need to sleep early the nxt nite. but, feel wide awake leh... hardly yawn in office nowadays too... mayb accustomed to the hours already... But, wht abt the heavy n giddy head? issit cos i have the nodding action too much from lookin at the scrren and onto the papers on my desk? issit cos of low blood sugar level? have been suspecting that already, but i might be worrying too much, afterall, i'm supposed to be healthy... hehe... mayb i'll just wait till the day i blackout n collaspe to cfm wht i'm thinking is true.
Its been years since my last dental checkup. lazy me... lazy to set appointment... scared to c dentist actually. hate the drilling sound. i hate dentists!!! been scared to tears slightly more than a decade and a half ago by a dentist. during primary school, the fierce, aunty dentist will write down a list of names on a piece of paper to "summon" her "victims" to the dental room. i was one of the first few on the list, but sitting there for a very long time cos she din call me name to sit on the "throne". not to mention, very restless... so i was toking to my frds. then she shouted at me and i started to cry. imagine being scolded by a stranger at that tender age. she punished me by putting calling my name LAST. from then on, it was phobia of dentist...
During my braces years, i STILL HATED gog for the checkups. how i wished there were no checkups, just there for those few years n viola!
Damn bored. Haven't been ot-ing so far for this month. All of the sudden, I miss the ots... the "way" i can get away. haiz... mayb i should try to sleep n wake up to watch the champs league final later... c how lah...
Mayb i should make use of this boredom to do something... but, damn sian aso... haiz... wana train, but dunno how to "open mouth" n thick-skinly go down to SRC... wana learn driving, but no money... room's quite neat, to my standard, so no need cleaning up...
usually after 2-3 nights of sleeping at 12am, i'll need to desprately need to sleep early the nxt nite. but, feel wide awake leh... hardly yawn in office nowadays too... mayb accustomed to the hours already... But, wht abt the heavy n giddy head? issit cos i have the nodding action too much from lookin at the scrren and onto the papers on my desk? issit cos of low blood sugar level? have been suspecting that already, but i might be worrying too much, afterall, i'm supposed to be healthy... hehe... mayb i'll just wait till the day i blackout n collaspe to cfm wht i'm thinking is true.
Its been years since my last dental checkup. lazy me... lazy to set appointment... scared to c dentist actually. hate the drilling sound. i hate dentists!!! been scared to tears slightly more than a decade and a half ago by a dentist. during primary school, the fierce, aunty dentist will write down a list of names on a piece of paper to "summon" her "victims" to the dental room. i was one of the first few on the list, but sitting there for a very long time cos she din call me name to sit on the "throne". not to mention, very restless... so i was toking to my frds. then she shouted at me and i started to cry. imagine being scolded by a stranger at that tender age. she punished me by putting calling my name LAST. from then on, it was phobia of dentist...
During my braces years, i STILL HATED gog for the checkups. how i wished there were no checkups, just there for those few years n viola!
Damn bored. Haven't been ot-ing so far for this month. All of the sudden, I miss the ots... the "way" i can get away. haiz... mayb i should try to sleep n wake up to watch the champs league final later... c how lah...
Monday, May 24, 2004
Monday blues?
Feel like crying... Mayb its the monday blues...
haiz... i really dunno... Getting a bit sian at work... what to do? I'm the restless type. Gotta tahan till Aug. So many shipments cos customers wana avoid the oil price hike, yet i'm finding invoices to process and files to do export permits. FINDING, yes, finding... Too competent in my work or wht?
Gettin restless. Is that good or bad? All of the sudden, I feel like applying again for the marketing and the media course in murdoch n run from everything here. take a break overseas for 2++ years, come back afresh. but whether i can put everything down is another factor... Wana put but cant put. Haiz...
My pay for Apr is FINALLY coming in... got a call from Rosemary from porcurement saying that thy manage to help me get some of my money in. Dunno whn thy'll bank in...
Something just came into my mind. Everyone and anyone in a relationship should listen to Ling Jing Ru's Yong Qi. Quite a naive thinking, but I guess if everyone really and truly understand the lyrics throughout, there'll be no breakups in the world. everyone will be happily married when the time comes. naive thinking rite? Heh...
haiz... i really dunno... Getting a bit sian at work... what to do? I'm the restless type. Gotta tahan till Aug. So many shipments cos customers wana avoid the oil price hike, yet i'm finding invoices to process and files to do export permits. FINDING, yes, finding... Too competent in my work or wht?
Gettin restless. Is that good or bad? All of the sudden, I feel like applying again for the marketing and the media course in murdoch n run from everything here. take a break overseas for 2++ years, come back afresh. but whether i can put everything down is another factor... Wana put but cant put. Haiz...
My pay for Apr is FINALLY coming in... got a call from Rosemary from porcurement saying that thy manage to help me get some of my money in. Dunno whn thy'll bank in...
Something just came into my mind. Everyone and anyone in a relationship should listen to Ling Jing Ru's Yong Qi. Quite a naive thinking, but I guess if everyone really and truly understand the lyrics throughout, there'll be no breakups in the world. everyone will be happily married when the time comes. naive thinking rite? Heh...
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Quickie... (quckie?)
Quick one before I leave for "Calender Girls"...
Learnt something from a frd of mine a few days back. bei ai shi xing fu (being loved is fortunate)... ai ren shi tong ku (loving someone is painful)... bi ci xiang ai dan bu ke yi zai yi qi gen tong ku (loving each other yet can't be together is even more painful)... very good example can be found in folklores like the stories of madam white snake and liang zhu (butterfly lovers) and of cos in the example of my frd... haiz... we both attributed it to tian yi (heaven's will)...
Things will not always happen in the way you want it to happen.
Love is something that can't be controlled, you can only supress it.
No point asking why or how come, just do your best to solve the problem.
Love is difficult subject, but people still pass it with flying colours afterall, cos they made the effort.
K, gonna be late...
Learnt something from a frd of mine a few days back. bei ai shi xing fu (being loved is fortunate)... ai ren shi tong ku (loving someone is painful)... bi ci xiang ai dan bu ke yi zai yi qi gen tong ku (loving each other yet can't be together is even more painful)... very good example can be found in folklores like the stories of madam white snake and liang zhu (butterfly lovers) and of cos in the example of my frd... haiz... we both attributed it to tian yi (heaven's will)...
Things will not always happen in the way you want it to happen.
Love is something that can't be controlled, you can only supress it.
No point asking why or how come, just do your best to solve the problem.
Love is difficult subject, but people still pass it with flying colours afterall, cos they made the effort.
K, gonna be late...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Sick, sicker, sickest...
I love the sun, sand, beach n sea... But put me in a boat floating on waters that reaches the horizon, I get sea sick...
Stuffy nose, bad throat, tired, sleepy... I'm sick...
Weary lonely heart, that kinda yearning feeling... I'm love sick...
Things just dun fit rite... tired of life... I'm just a sickening idiot falling prey to the dark dark pit yet again...
cute = ugle but adorable
ugly but adorable = cute
cute = ke ai
ke ai = ke lian mei ren ai...
Jan told me something the other day which she heard from another senior of ours... Students have holidays allocated to them... pple who work need a break, so thy take leave to have a holiday. same applies for love. something else from her... if guys wana play ard n date other gals (tou chi/ zao sai...), better do it while thy are attached... once they r married, thy r no longer eligible...
jing ge ge said the other day tt my love life can write into a script n shoot into a (depressing, in my words) movie, cos too many downs n too little ups...
haiz... being loved is always better then loving someone...
Stuffy nose, bad throat, tired, sleepy... I'm sick...
Weary lonely heart, that kinda yearning feeling... I'm love sick...
Things just dun fit rite... tired of life... I'm just a sickening idiot falling prey to the dark dark pit yet again...
cute = ugle but adorable
ugly but adorable = cute
cute = ke ai
ke ai = ke lian mei ren ai...
Jan told me something the other day which she heard from another senior of ours... Students have holidays allocated to them... pple who work need a break, so thy take leave to have a holiday. same applies for love. something else from her... if guys wana play ard n date other gals (tou chi/ zao sai...), better do it while thy are attached... once they r married, thy r no longer eligible...
jing ge ge said the other day tt my love life can write into a script n shoot into a (depressing, in my words) movie, cos too many downs n too little ups...
haiz... being loved is always better then loving someone...
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Funny throat...
Still gog ga-ga over the shizh tsu...
Sad n sorry to say, i HATE my family. Short-term goal is to move out asap... fucked up family, fucked up sis (ask any of my frds who had "encounters" wif her b4), fucked up mum (or rather mouth. she should learn to shut up!). Nope, its not the teenage crisis thingy...
Confused, confusion, confuses. Root word: confuse... been thinking a lot n analysing the situation i'm in... yes or not, guilty or not... everything's a blurred line.
i find myself more n more familiar. the shoutings, the screamings, the tiredness, the energy being zapped away, the i-should-just-drop-dead attitude... no appetite, jus eating for show, forcing down the food into my mouth n forcing myself to swollow. not just ordinary food, durian n bird's nest too...
Whn you're craving for something so desprately, nothing matters, even whn it sucks. I haven gotten my dosage of latte in many many months. latte is espresso plus milk. Not norm kopi-o plus milk. good latte (my defination) = drank without any addition of sweetener or sugar, milky yet does not cover the coffee taste. McCafe latte is too milky but (sigh) better then nothing.
moreover its a treat by my kor aka listening ear aka adviser aka sun wu kong aka colleague cum friend... he overslept n was coming to work n asked if i wanted anything from JP. was telling him abt my craving for latte the day b4, n he sweetly bought my request, a cuppa from McCafe for me... plus... cheesecake!!! there was only once slice of it. so he bought that n a caramel cake, and asked me to choose one... i of cos take the cheesecake lah!!
through him, i got to know the "darker" secrets of wht's gog on in the plant. now, knowing all these things, i tend to be more careful abt wht i say.i'm known to be blunt, so in the past, whn i say certain things, pple just let it past, cos being in the dark, thy cant blame me. but in the long run, it'll be kinda irritating. so i'm really glad to know all the gog-ons, putting myself in check from time to time. aft all i'm known as xiao mei... everyone calls me that there... hehe...
mayb i cried too much ystday nite. throat's very very uncomfy... its like something pressing it, drinking is even a chore.
*I cant help it... every moment that i think about you... every day and every night without you, I cant survive... love... take away the lonely days gone by, making every day for you and i... giving me a chance to go on believeing...*
Sad n sorry to say, i HATE my family. Short-term goal is to move out asap... fucked up family, fucked up sis (ask any of my frds who had "encounters" wif her b4), fucked up mum (or rather mouth. she should learn to shut up!). Nope, its not the teenage crisis thingy...
Confused, confusion, confuses. Root word: confuse... been thinking a lot n analysing the situation i'm in... yes or not, guilty or not... everything's a blurred line.
i find myself more n more familiar. the shoutings, the screamings, the tiredness, the energy being zapped away, the i-should-just-drop-dead attitude... no appetite, jus eating for show, forcing down the food into my mouth n forcing myself to swollow. not just ordinary food, durian n bird's nest too...
Whn you're craving for something so desprately, nothing matters, even whn it sucks. I haven gotten my dosage of latte in many many months. latte is espresso plus milk. Not norm kopi-o plus milk. good latte (my defination) = drank without any addition of sweetener or sugar, milky yet does not cover the coffee taste. McCafe latte is too milky but (sigh) better then nothing.
moreover its a treat by my kor aka listening ear aka adviser aka sun wu kong aka colleague cum friend... he overslept n was coming to work n asked if i wanted anything from JP. was telling him abt my craving for latte the day b4, n he sweetly bought my request, a cuppa from McCafe for me... plus... cheesecake!!! there was only once slice of it. so he bought that n a caramel cake, and asked me to choose one... i of cos take the cheesecake lah!!
through him, i got to know the "darker" secrets of wht's gog on in the plant. now, knowing all these things, i tend to be more careful abt wht i say.i'm known to be blunt, so in the past, whn i say certain things, pple just let it past, cos being in the dark, thy cant blame me. but in the long run, it'll be kinda irritating. so i'm really glad to know all the gog-ons, putting myself in check from time to time. aft all i'm known as xiao mei... everyone calls me that there... hehe...
mayb i cried too much ystday nite. throat's very very uncomfy... its like something pressing it, drinking is even a chore.
*I cant help it... every moment that i think about you... every day and every night without you, I cant survive... love... take away the lonely days gone by, making every day for you and i... giving me a chance to go on believeing...*
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Tired...
Freaking tired and i dun understand why. i can nvr have enough zzz...
still having the runs and stomachache... the after effects of drinking yakult early in the morning... been eating slightly better n a bit more lately. at least i have the appetite to order food for lunch. usually, its just bread from breakfast. dunno if tts good news or bad news.
a colleague of mine, actually a ntu student on attachment, took some photos of his gf's shizh tzu on his hp. although i love dogs, i nvr kinda like shizh tzus till i saw the photos... aiyoh, soooooooooooooooooooo cute i tell u!!! she's soooo unlike those norm shizh tzu wif head up in the air, arrogant, fierce, bark at every single thing, proud n tai-tai kinda attitude slash look... i think this is by far the ONLY shizh tzu i like... aiyoh... whn i saw the photos, i almost had the urge to bring my colleague's hp back home just to admire the shizh tzu... a shizh tsu with pinch-able cheeks n sleepy cute eyes... bet no other shizh tzus r like tt! more thn 24 hours have past since i saw the photos, but still, i'm gog ga-ga over her. heard from my colleague that she's very timid... shizh tsu, timid? cant ever link those 2 words together till i saw the photos. k, gotta stop ga-ga-ing over the shish tsu... but.... sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!! k, stop!
npsb gonna have a camp next week. cant wait to play ball! its been months since i threw n catch... miss tt kinda glove-in-hand-on-d-field-catching-balll feeling. but, my knee bu zhen qi. hope it doesn't hurt for tt few days n just let me have fun...
makan time...
still having the runs and stomachache... the after effects of drinking yakult early in the morning... been eating slightly better n a bit more lately. at least i have the appetite to order food for lunch. usually, its just bread from breakfast. dunno if tts good news or bad news.
a colleague of mine, actually a ntu student on attachment, took some photos of his gf's shizh tzu on his hp. although i love dogs, i nvr kinda like shizh tzus till i saw the photos... aiyoh, soooooooooooooooooooo cute i tell u!!! she's soooo unlike those norm shizh tzu wif head up in the air, arrogant, fierce, bark at every single thing, proud n tai-tai kinda attitude slash look... i think this is by far the ONLY shizh tzu i like... aiyoh... whn i saw the photos, i almost had the urge to bring my colleague's hp back home just to admire the shizh tzu... a shizh tsu with pinch-able cheeks n sleepy cute eyes... bet no other shizh tzus r like tt! more thn 24 hours have past since i saw the photos, but still, i'm gog ga-ga over her. heard from my colleague that she's very timid... shizh tsu, timid? cant ever link those 2 words together till i saw the photos. k, gotta stop ga-ga-ing over the shish tsu... but.... sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!! k, stop!
npsb gonna have a camp next week. cant wait to play ball! its been months since i threw n catch... miss tt kinda glove-in-hand-on-d-field-catching-balll feeling. but, my knee bu zhen qi. hope it doesn't hurt for tt few days n just let me have fun...
makan time...
Monday, April 26, 2004
"Peach-flower" month
just got back from Jan's bday party. tired, shag... been ot-ing n getting not enough sleep. gog to hit the sack rite after i finish this... n it's still NOT enough sleep.
something's in my mind for the whole of last week. it kinda manage to creep into the back of my mind now, n i hope it just stays there foreva. brooding over it wun help me at all. it only brings me pain, hurt n makes me feel miserable... it will only weather rocks to sand... its something which i wun know how to address. i can only try to stay as happy as i can... try to reamin as positive as i can... try not to think abt it as much as i can... try to stay as sane as possible...
stay sane... tt's like an impossible thing, but i have to... the pit's too dark, too deep, to black, too scary, too hollow, n no, i wun wana go back in there again.
jokingly or not, i wun wana hear "wana intro guys to u lah" kinda stuff. i had enough for the past month. i wana kick these pple, whether thy r really interested in me or not, to the sun n watch them burn to death. their "confessions" only remind me of how much i love my baby. this is an irritating "peach-flower" month. i hate it!!!
something's in my mind for the whole of last week. it kinda manage to creep into the back of my mind now, n i hope it just stays there foreva. brooding over it wun help me at all. it only brings me pain, hurt n makes me feel miserable... it will only weather rocks to sand... its something which i wun know how to address. i can only try to stay as happy as i can... try to reamin as positive as i can... try not to think abt it as much as i can... try to stay as sane as possible...
stay sane... tt's like an impossible thing, but i have to... the pit's too dark, too deep, to black, too scary, too hollow, n no, i wun wana go back in there again.
jokingly or not, i wun wana hear "wana intro guys to u lah" kinda stuff. i had enough for the past month. i wana kick these pple, whether thy r really interested in me or not, to the sun n watch them burn to death. their "confessions" only remind me of how much i love my baby. this is an irritating "peach-flower" month. i hate it!!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Weird week...
24 mins past. man u against charlton. i wqould say tt its a "choppy" game. everyone seemed to have incomplete passes. Attacking should be a fast thing, but its either my fave red shirts r slow, or the yellow shirts are faster then them.
in the 29th min, saha scores... seems to be narrowly offside...
ystday was a bad day following a bad weekend. its a really-sets-u-to-think-too-much day...
colleague gog on leave today. n all of us tot it was tmr. "great" man... one more day of cleaning up shit for me. i haven seen such a disorganised person in my whole life! soft copy files are all over the place in the computer n the network's shared drives. hard copy working files n documents, tons of duplicates in them n thy have no function just add to the thickness. Original copies of B/L is at the bottom of the file rather then the top. you find original copies of invoices stapled to non-originals copies of other things. gog thru the files tryin to find things aso take a long time. tell you things got head no tail, got tail no head. tell me lah, like tt how to follow up n cover his duties? with so many documents n paperwork to take care of, u cant afford to be disorganised... haiz... on top of that, i still have my work to do... DAMN!
a fooking idiot who is not very good wif the SAP system, REFUSES to (accordin to another colleague) tell pple he stupid. and how the workflow goes by n how the system works, he needs to convert a PR no to a PO no. n he says it was "stuck'. mayb he has loads of things to do but according to some guideline, new arrangement thingy, i have to inform the shipping lines of a no. so thy cant put it onto the invoice to send it to our acct payables. n it was already stuck for 2 whole freaking weeks. after ding-dong up to bangkok n back to sg, he "finally" did something to "rectify" the prob. tt's to DELETE the PR. Now i have to create them AGAIN n send it to my sup for approval. wasting time! so i purposely attached the email to the PR to let my sup c. grr...
it doesn't help whn pple at the other end DONT tok. this stupid shippin line, i called one of them to tell them the prob over here. another sent an email to my colleague n cc the idiot above. hope HE realises tt its the same company we're toking abt n it was HIM was held up everything! Mayb next time if there's a similar scenario, i'll just ask the shipping company to send me an email, cc to him, thn i reply to the email saying tt "I'm working with my pocurement side to hasten things up" instead of "my porcurement side having prob", make him feel guilty... anyway it seems that he doesn't kind chk his email often... we always get our emails replied after 2 days on the average...
yet another victim "falling prey" to my "beauty". another contractor came n ask me if "we could be frds". I hate the attention i'm getting from pple i dunno at my workplace. so far 2 contractors have tried to know me. and others just look at me at a weird way. if i'm single or if i dun really like my bf much, i dun mind keeping my options open n mayb tok to them a little. but i love my baby too much to risk our relationship. i feel bad even with them tryin to come tok to me.
some fella whom i knew over irc before i was together with my baby n me barely chatted more then 10 times. just the other day, he called me n said tt if i dun have a bf, he'll ask me to be his gf. n NO, i dun appreciate tt. he asked if i would accept him if i din have a bf, i said no n din bother to give any reason. i woke up ystday with a missed call, n found tt he actually called me at 1am.
from pple i dun wan attention from, i get it. from pple i wan attention from, i dun get it... i've been trying to be more independent, pulling away more from my baby. but all this attention from other guys just made me realise that i loved him more then i like him. seems tt its gonna be more diff now...
In your lifetime, there r many things tt pple will give you. like money, presents, love, care, concern, etc... but i realised tt there r 2 things which you were to lose them, its kinda hard to get back. tt's respect n trust. but its weird. its supposed to be the person i trust most, yet now, i dunno how to trust tt fella.
song spinning in the head for the past week: i can't help it by andy gibb n olivia newton john. another version was done by regine n remus choy (of cao meng).
if it was just a weird day, i think its rather more like a weird week. if its just a weird week, pls dun let it be a weird month. enough is enough. i'm pissed and fustrated. i wana cry to release, but river ran dry. mayb i'm dehydrated tt's y tears dun flow? y cant these tears flow? i need them to flow to feel betta... argh!
in the 29th min, saha scores... seems to be narrowly offside...
ystday was a bad day following a bad weekend. its a really-sets-u-to-think-too-much day...
colleague gog on leave today. n all of us tot it was tmr. "great" man... one more day of cleaning up shit for me. i haven seen such a disorganised person in my whole life! soft copy files are all over the place in the computer n the network's shared drives. hard copy working files n documents, tons of duplicates in them n thy have no function just add to the thickness. Original copies of B/L is at the bottom of the file rather then the top. you find original copies of invoices stapled to non-originals copies of other things. gog thru the files tryin to find things aso take a long time. tell you things got head no tail, got tail no head. tell me lah, like tt how to follow up n cover his duties? with so many documents n paperwork to take care of, u cant afford to be disorganised... haiz... on top of that, i still have my work to do... DAMN!
a fooking idiot who is not very good wif the SAP system, REFUSES to (accordin to another colleague) tell pple he stupid. and how the workflow goes by n how the system works, he needs to convert a PR no to a PO no. n he says it was "stuck'. mayb he has loads of things to do but according to some guideline, new arrangement thingy, i have to inform the shipping lines of a no. so thy cant put it onto the invoice to send it to our acct payables. n it was already stuck for 2 whole freaking weeks. after ding-dong up to bangkok n back to sg, he "finally" did something to "rectify" the prob. tt's to DELETE the PR. Now i have to create them AGAIN n send it to my sup for approval. wasting time! so i purposely attached the email to the PR to let my sup c. grr...
it doesn't help whn pple at the other end DONT tok. this stupid shippin line, i called one of them to tell them the prob over here. another sent an email to my colleague n cc the idiot above. hope HE realises tt its the same company we're toking abt n it was HIM was held up everything! Mayb next time if there's a similar scenario, i'll just ask the shipping company to send me an email, cc to him, thn i reply to the email saying tt "I'm working with my pocurement side to hasten things up" instead of "my porcurement side having prob", make him feel guilty... anyway it seems that he doesn't kind chk his email often... we always get our emails replied after 2 days on the average...
yet another victim "falling prey" to my "beauty". another contractor came n ask me if "we could be frds". I hate the attention i'm getting from pple i dunno at my workplace. so far 2 contractors have tried to know me. and others just look at me at a weird way. if i'm single or if i dun really like my bf much, i dun mind keeping my options open n mayb tok to them a little. but i love my baby too much to risk our relationship. i feel bad even with them tryin to come tok to me.
some fella whom i knew over irc before i was together with my baby n me barely chatted more then 10 times. just the other day, he called me n said tt if i dun have a bf, he'll ask me to be his gf. n NO, i dun appreciate tt. he asked if i would accept him if i din have a bf, i said no n din bother to give any reason. i woke up ystday with a missed call, n found tt he actually called me at 1am.
from pple i dun wan attention from, i get it. from pple i wan attention from, i dun get it... i've been trying to be more independent, pulling away more from my baby. but all this attention from other guys just made me realise that i loved him more then i like him. seems tt its gonna be more diff now...
In your lifetime, there r many things tt pple will give you. like money, presents, love, care, concern, etc... but i realised tt there r 2 things which you were to lose them, its kinda hard to get back. tt's respect n trust. but its weird. its supposed to be the person i trust most, yet now, i dunno how to trust tt fella.
song spinning in the head for the past week: i can't help it by andy gibb n olivia newton john. another version was done by regine n remus choy (of cao meng).
if it was just a weird day, i think its rather more like a weird week. if its just a weird week, pls dun let it be a weird month. enough is enough. i'm pissed and fustrated. i wana cry to release, but river ran dry. mayb i'm dehydrated tt's y tears dun flow? y cant these tears flow? i need them to flow to feel betta... argh!
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Liang Jing Ru's Ting Bu Dao
One song tt really describe my feelings now... Liang Jing Ru's Ting Bu Dao
...
The song just popped up into my head. guess i'm in the emotional state again... linking my feelings to some songs...
...
The song just popped up into my head. guess i'm in the emotional state again... linking my feelings to some songs...
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Maybe I should... but...
been feeling very tired lately...
mayb i should drink more coffee at work to keep myself awake n energetic but...
mayb i should bath faster in the mornings to set myself in pace but...
mayb i should stop feeling dead n numb whn i wake up in the mornings but...
mayb i should stop crying to sleep every nite but...
mayb i should go to bed earlier at nite but...
mayb i should stop myself thinking of Aileen Carol Wuornos n her sad life whenever i close my eyes but...
mayb i should not have watched "Monster" and feel so depressed but...
mayb i should watch some comedies but...
mayb i should just trip over some steps n land in hospital, in coma so i wun think but...
mayb i should even just fall dead but...
mayb i should just sleep now cos there's a real madrid match later at 2.30am but...
mayb i should just hug cheer bear to sleep but...
haiz... zzz...
mayb i should drink more coffee at work to keep myself awake n energetic but...
mayb i should bath faster in the mornings to set myself in pace but...
mayb i should stop feeling dead n numb whn i wake up in the mornings but...
mayb i should stop crying to sleep every nite but...
mayb i should go to bed earlier at nite but...
mayb i should stop myself thinking of Aileen Carol Wuornos n her sad life whenever i close my eyes but...
mayb i should not have watched "Monster" and feel so depressed but...
mayb i should watch some comedies but...
mayb i should just trip over some steps n land in hospital, in coma so i wun think but...
mayb i should even just fall dead but...
mayb i should just sleep now cos there's a real madrid match later at 2.30am but...
mayb i should just hug cheer bear to sleep but...
haiz... zzz...
Monday, April 05, 2004
*fart fart*
while waiting for the urge to shit, just decided to pop in here to write a line or 2...
been trying to solve a riddle the whole day today but cant solve it. haiz...
*fart fart*
went shopping with Baby today. he needed a new belt n pants n ended up with no belt but pants, undies n a top... while i, bought a top tt caught my eye...
*fart fart*
k, time to release...
been trying to solve a riddle the whole day today but cant solve it. haiz...
*fart fart*
went shopping with Baby today. he needed a new belt n pants n ended up with no belt but pants, undies n a top... while i, bought a top tt caught my eye...
*fart fart*
k, time to release...
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Kor Kor...
Kor Kor died for excately one year as of today. yet, it only seemed like ystday. a chinese version of "zui" sang by yong bang played on the radio just now in the office. Trying so hard to fight back my tears. although i'm not a fanatic fan of his, i still missed him, his movies, his songs, his "zui". how i wished it was just an apr fools joke.
"kor kor, hoe dor zhong yi lei dek ya-en hoe gua ju lei. yeik nin le, lei hoe ma? kor kor, zou meh lei lum um hoi? zou meh yew lei hoi..."
"kor kor, hoe dor zhong yi lei dek ya-en hoe gua ju lei. yeik nin le, lei hoe ma? kor kor, zou meh lei lum um hoi? zou meh yew lei hoi..."
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Pain pain go away, (dun) come again foreva...
woke up to a stabbing pain in my abdominal area. As i comtemplate whether to take the day off, i think abt the stack of papers in the office n tt useful, yet time consuming LPS training later in the morning. When i put my hand to press on the area to give it some pressure so as to not feel the pain, i can actually feel it throb. its more excruciating, more pain-in-the-ass, or rather, abdominal today. totally unbearable. if ystday's was unbearable, today's 10 times worse.
Now i'm wondering, do women who go on the pill have to suffer this kinda ordeal (yes, ordeal) every month? in bio classes during secondary scool, all i can recall n which is all, to my understanding now, is tt there's still bloody discharge, but lesser cos there's no eggs? wht the hack...
decided to take a cab later, too pain to walk, stand up, or even sit up straight. time-check, 6.45, i still have a little time to laze ard too... made myself a warm cuppa milo.
as i slowly make my way to "paint" my face, drink my milo n go to work, if anyone has any miraculous way of overcoming, or rather STOP the monthly pains, pls gimme a buzz. n sorry, no panadol or whtever tt "p" medication tt was supposed to be good but harmful in the long run. mayb i should cut down on my humongous intake of tea in the afternoon n drink "heaty" stuff like milo or hot chocolate. (yah, then the pain will come onto my face.)
helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp...
The Paced Times Online is rite. the monthly pains are the most painful things after childbirth. well, but at least u have anesthesia for childbirth. hmm... anesthesia... would some doc kindly invent something tt would be something like anesthesia n numb tt area so we cant feel the pain.
Pain pain go away, dun come again foreva... (sang to the tune of rain rain go away, come again another day)
Now i'm wondering, do women who go on the pill have to suffer this kinda ordeal (yes, ordeal) every month? in bio classes during secondary scool, all i can recall n which is all, to my understanding now, is tt there's still bloody discharge, but lesser cos there's no eggs? wht the hack...
decided to take a cab later, too pain to walk, stand up, or even sit up straight. time-check, 6.45, i still have a little time to laze ard too... made myself a warm cuppa milo.
as i slowly make my way to "paint" my face, drink my milo n go to work, if anyone has any miraculous way of overcoming, or rather STOP the monthly pains, pls gimme a buzz. n sorry, no panadol or whtever tt "p" medication tt was supposed to be good but harmful in the long run. mayb i should cut down on my humongous intake of tea in the afternoon n drink "heaty" stuff like milo or hot chocolate. (yah, then the pain will come onto my face.)
helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp...
The Paced Times Online is rite. the monthly pains are the most painful things after childbirth. well, but at least u have anesthesia for childbirth. hmm... anesthesia... would some doc kindly invent something tt would be something like anesthesia n numb tt area so we cant feel the pain.
Pain pain go away, dun come again foreva... (sang to the tune of rain rain go away, come again another day)
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Pain pain...
2nd outta-sorts day. although the "impact" was less thn ystday.
reason 1? the "aunt" came this morning. sat in the cold (read: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) air con office enduring the monthly pains. this time round, WITHOUT my comfy hot pack (cold pack but heated up...). was toking in fanciful language to myself silently while tryin to concentrate on my work.
reason 2? no idea. mayb still feeling depressed after watching monster. was crying to sleep ystday. too sad, too heart wrenching. even thinking abt makes me cry n i almost did in the office. haiz... bo pian, who ask me to be a true blue cancerian, very extremly emotional... whn i woke up this morning, there's this kinda sadness tt overwhelmed me. just woke up feeling very sad, feeling very breathless, as if as there's a heavy load on my chest.
reason 3? nah...
time to heat up the pack... pain pain...
reason 1? the "aunt" came this morning. sat in the cold (read: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) air con office enduring the monthly pains. this time round, WITHOUT my comfy hot pack (cold pack but heated up...). was toking in fanciful language to myself silently while tryin to concentrate on my work.
reason 2? no idea. mayb still feeling depressed after watching monster. was crying to sleep ystday. too sad, too heart wrenching. even thinking abt makes me cry n i almost did in the office. haiz... bo pian, who ask me to be a true blue cancerian, very extremly emotional... whn i woke up this morning, there's this kinda sadness tt overwhelmed me. just woke up feeling very sad, feeling very breathless, as if as there's a heavy load on my chest.
reason 3? nah...
time to heat up the pack... pain pain...
Monster...
Totally outta sorts at work today. Staple remover rite in front of me n I din c it. Pen rite in front of me n i searched all over my table for it. was photostating something n needed my pencil, which I actually forgotten tt i took it with me all along, making a wasted trip back to my table to look for it. wrote wrong names on the wrong packs of food even with the list in front of me. even the simple, unforgettable steps of gog thru the SAP system to get a PO moving was so difficult. had to stare, look back n forth at my comp n the paper, check, double check, triple check, quadriple check n then i forgot wht to do next. even my colleagues was wondering wht was wrong with me. i wondered too. did i get out from the wrong side of bed. or was it just monday blues.
caught monster just now. diff pple would have diff POVs of the movie. for me, a straight gal, watching Charlize Theron (Aileen/ Lee) n Christina Ricci (selby) makin out should be kinda gross. it was gross the 1st time whn thy kissed. but during their 2nd time, i was drawn to lee's love for selby. she simply just never expect to fall for selby at first. somehow i think sel is the bitch who had a hand in ruining lee's life. lee loved this gal who picked her up at a bar cos she was bored n was running away from her dad. n sel later kinda did her in. in my pov, she knows lee loved her a lot, n in turn used this love to turn herself into a prosecution witness.
heart wrenching i must say. depressing rather... hearin n seeing lee's story was really heart ache. no one could have imagined gog thru all the kinda shit. raped by her dad's frd at 8, prostituted herself since 13 and had an abortion b4. if it was me n given tt life, i wont live past my abortion. i might as long just die with the baby who i dun even know who the dad was. i really sympatised with her. n trying to provide a good life for sel was all she wanted. as to y she commited the murders, it was kinda half the reason here n there. guess she got tired of being "humiliated" by men. n once she start killing one outta self defence, she couldnt stop cos it was an ez way out. an ez way out to get money n a car to move to another town for another "new" life with sel. I cried, as n i'm typing this, i'm still crying.
in the court scene, she said something which set me thinking. she scolded the jury for putting to death, a rape victim. had her dad heard her pleas n believed her whn she was 8, she wouldnt have been on death row. given the physological n mental "health" she is in, life imprisonment was cruel enuff. no one asked to be raped at 8! n the murders she did, she still had to pay for them. if the jury feels tt she has to be put to death for the murders she commited, how abt those who raped her n mulitated her? how come thy go away scot free? so is law abt who reporting who to the authorities first? i simply have no idea.
caught monster just now. diff pple would have diff POVs of the movie. for me, a straight gal, watching Charlize Theron (Aileen/ Lee) n Christina Ricci (selby) makin out should be kinda gross. it was gross the 1st time whn thy kissed. but during their 2nd time, i was drawn to lee's love for selby. she simply just never expect to fall for selby at first. somehow i think sel is the bitch who had a hand in ruining lee's life. lee loved this gal who picked her up at a bar cos she was bored n was running away from her dad. n sel later kinda did her in. in my pov, she knows lee loved her a lot, n in turn used this love to turn herself into a prosecution witness.
heart wrenching i must say. depressing rather... hearin n seeing lee's story was really heart ache. no one could have imagined gog thru all the kinda shit. raped by her dad's frd at 8, prostituted herself since 13 and had an abortion b4. if it was me n given tt life, i wont live past my abortion. i might as long just die with the baby who i dun even know who the dad was. i really sympatised with her. n trying to provide a good life for sel was all she wanted. as to y she commited the murders, it was kinda half the reason here n there. guess she got tired of being "humiliated" by men. n once she start killing one outta self defence, she couldnt stop cos it was an ez way out. an ez way out to get money n a car to move to another town for another "new" life with sel. I cried, as n i'm typing this, i'm still crying.
in the court scene, she said something which set me thinking. she scolded the jury for putting to death, a rape victim. had her dad heard her pleas n believed her whn she was 8, she wouldnt have been on death row. given the physological n mental "health" she is in, life imprisonment was cruel enuff. no one asked to be raped at 8! n the murders she did, she still had to pay for them. if the jury feels tt she has to be put to death for the murders she commited, how abt those who raped her n mulitated her? how come thy go away scot free? so is law abt who reporting who to the authorities first? i simply have no idea.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The good and the crap
As of tmr, it'll be officially 1 month in ExxonMobil. time really flies n it only seemed like ystday i just started work.
Caught one good and one crap movie. good: 20, 30, 40. screenplay and editing is superb. 3 stories abt 3 women who dun know each other with no direct link with each other and transisting in between them was flawless! u have lee sin jie, an aspiring singer who flew to taiwan. you have liu ruo ying who is a flight attendent on duty on the plane lee sin jie took. when u follow them touching down at the airport, u find zhang ai jia returning from a trip wif her husband and daughter. aside from the opening seq, you can pratically use your hands to count if u wana find any 2 of these 3 women together in a scene. tt was how good the screenplay was. 3 award winning actresses in one movie, u can be guaranteed of superb acting. Besides having them, u have award winning liang jia hui too! cao qi tai aso acted as zhang ai jia's husband. Its not meant to be a comedy, yet there was funny moments complete with great punchlines here and there. Its so good to be able to watch such kinda taiwanese movie. wang jing n zhu yan ping can go to hell for delivering crappy stuff the last era. bring on more of these kinda "ho liao" movies!
crap: an iranian movie: blackboards. about 2 teachers wondering ard to find students. typical iranian film wif a big outline n lots of simple, draggy, sometimes stupid n dun-make-any-sense-at-all subplots. typical iranian film wif lots of loooonnnnnnnnnnng shots, "travelling" wif the character tt might make one feel nauseous. typical iranian film tt made me fell asleep just like i did during my poly film history n film study classes. typical iranian film wif irritatingly lllllllloooooooonnnnggggggg dialogue, if not monologue, maybe its just the language. typical iranian film wif not much mise-en-scene (wow, i still can spell n use this word!) except for the flowers grass trees wood (hua cao shu mu). typical iranian film tt have character B repeating wht character A says (or issit cos of the cannot-make-it translation) tt makes audiences so irrtated tt my Baby feel like slapping the character. TYPICAL BORING iranian film... spare me... can we have more iranian films like children of heaven instead?
I wana watch untold scandal... a korean remake of Les Liaisons Dangerous. reviews not bad...
50 first dates sound interesting. about drew barrymore who has short term memory loss.
i aso wana watch twilight samurai and the company, both showing at theartshouse for their "opening fest"
wana watch so many movies, no time...
Caught one good and one crap movie. good: 20, 30, 40. screenplay and editing is superb. 3 stories abt 3 women who dun know each other with no direct link with each other and transisting in between them was flawless! u have lee sin jie, an aspiring singer who flew to taiwan. you have liu ruo ying who is a flight attendent on duty on the plane lee sin jie took. when u follow them touching down at the airport, u find zhang ai jia returning from a trip wif her husband and daughter. aside from the opening seq, you can pratically use your hands to count if u wana find any 2 of these 3 women together in a scene. tt was how good the screenplay was. 3 award winning actresses in one movie, u can be guaranteed of superb acting. Besides having them, u have award winning liang jia hui too! cao qi tai aso acted as zhang ai jia's husband. Its not meant to be a comedy, yet there was funny moments complete with great punchlines here and there. Its so good to be able to watch such kinda taiwanese movie. wang jing n zhu yan ping can go to hell for delivering crappy stuff the last era. bring on more of these kinda "ho liao" movies!
crap: an iranian movie: blackboards. about 2 teachers wondering ard to find students. typical iranian film wif a big outline n lots of simple, draggy, sometimes stupid n dun-make-any-sense-at-all subplots. typical iranian film wif lots of loooonnnnnnnnnnng shots, "travelling" wif the character tt might make one feel nauseous. typical iranian film tt made me fell asleep just like i did during my poly film history n film study classes. typical iranian film wif irritatingly lllllllloooooooonnnnggggggg dialogue, if not monologue, maybe its just the language. typical iranian film wif not much mise-en-scene (wow, i still can spell n use this word!) except for the flowers grass trees wood (hua cao shu mu). typical iranian film tt have character B repeating wht character A says (or issit cos of the cannot-make-it translation) tt makes audiences so irrtated tt my Baby feel like slapping the character. TYPICAL BORING iranian film... spare me... can we have more iranian films like children of heaven instead?
I wana watch untold scandal... a korean remake of Les Liaisons Dangerous. reviews not bad...
50 first dates sound interesting. about drew barrymore who has short term memory loss.
i aso wana watch twilight samurai and the company, both showing at theartshouse for their "opening fest"
wana watch so many movies, no time...
Saturday, March 20, 2004
What a wonderful feeling...
~~Jie~~: okie i gotta go already... meeting youjin..
long time never go tampines
remember to have ur dinner later okie?
bye bye
paced: okie.. tok later.. have a great time.. buai...
paced: sob sob
~~Jie~~dun cry.. sayang.. *muak*
byebyeee
i feel so loved... What a wonderful feeling! Thanks Baby...
long time never go tampines
remember to have ur dinner later okie?
bye bye
paced: okie.. tok later.. have a great time.. buai...
paced: sob sob
~~Jie~~dun cry.. sayang.. *muak*
byebyeee
i feel so loved... What a wonderful feeling! Thanks Baby...
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Lousy screenings...
acacia wasn't tt nice after all and the other movie tt was screening was cat in the hat. no wonder there were so little pple ystday at the screenings ystday. but there's something to mention abt acacia though... like almost all horror films, the cinematography n editing are the only salvage points of the film.
tired, sleepy... always happens at the end of the working week... feel like sleeping earlier tonight...
tired, sleepy... always happens at the end of the working week... feel like sleeping earlier tonight...
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Updates yet again...
Its always easy to guess if u're gonna OT. guess i will tmr. another stack of export permits to clear wif another colleague gog on leave for a day. more will come my way... dun mind the OT, but i do mind not being able to get transport out. so far, its not too bad wif a colleague fetchin us to the nearest mrt. but, i rather "accumulate" the OTs. cos its only after 2 hours straight, i can claim meal n transport. if OT half an hour everyday a bit "bo hua" cos cant claim the meal n transport like tt. haiz...
man u got knocked out of the champs league by porto. i din manage to catch tt match...
both Baby n i have been working. i need to sleep early cos i gotta wake up by 6... Baby wakes up at 7.30. by the time he finishes his OT n reaches home, i'm already preparing to go to bed. On the days without sfs screenings or us meeting, i spend less then an hour with him. n on those days, i miss him soooo much tt i even smile to myself while looking at my phone's wallpaper (a photo of both of us). wht to do, he has to earn more in order to save more for his uni expenses... so i'll have to accomodate to his time. although i miss him so much, i'm really glad for tt minimal less then an hour we spend with each other which is at least betta thn not spending time together at all...
tt despo idiot still has yet to return me my ic n return my library book for me... grrr...
man u got knocked out of the champs league by porto. i din manage to catch tt match...
both Baby n i have been working. i need to sleep early cos i gotta wake up by 6... Baby wakes up at 7.30. by the time he finishes his OT n reaches home, i'm already preparing to go to bed. On the days without sfs screenings or us meeting, i spend less then an hour with him. n on those days, i miss him soooo much tt i even smile to myself while looking at my phone's wallpaper (a photo of both of us). wht to do, he has to earn more in order to save more for his uni expenses... so i'll have to accomodate to his time. although i miss him so much, i'm really glad for tt minimal less then an hour we spend with each other which is at least betta thn not spending time together at all...
tt despo idiot still has yet to return me my ic n return my library book for me... grrr...
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Mt. Ex(port per)mits...
a whole HILL of export permits to be done. doesn't help whn names of the products so similar to the last letter but catergorise under diff HS codes or of diff country origin. i need time to get familiarise. tt's not the only tiring thing. tiring is the calculation, making sure the weights are correct. soon, i think i'l give up lumping all the items with the same hs codes n country of origin n maybe start typing them one by one, 20 products in all if tt's what is shipped in one whole B/L. I really dunno which is more time wasting. calculating or typing. but i know i definately save paper...
it aso doesnt help whn the BIG boss comes down to sg. first, company lunch for almost 2 hours. then meeting for 2 hours. thn waiting ard here n there, the whole aftnn burned. OT till 7.30 but still cant clear even 1/4 of those permits. think i have to OT again tmr... haiz... earning money, good, but the pile doesnt look good on my work effectiveness. but, its damn... argh!!! mayb u guys shld try...
k, back to my emails, newspapers and other stuff...
it aso doesnt help whn the BIG boss comes down to sg. first, company lunch for almost 2 hours. then meeting for 2 hours. thn waiting ard here n there, the whole aftnn burned. OT till 7.30 but still cant clear even 1/4 of those permits. think i have to OT again tmr... haiz... earning money, good, but the pile doesnt look good on my work effectiveness. but, its damn... argh!!! mayb u guys shld try...
k, back to my emails, newspapers and other stuff...
Monday, March 08, 2004
2 good films...
This is the 2nd+ week at work. not much OT in the past cos not much for me to do as i havent learnt tt part of the job yet... wanted to OT just now, but it was raining very heavily, thus din OT cos(by experience frm those who OT often) hardly any cabs would wana come in even "on call".
caught 2 good movies in the past week. Core screening of In America and a free invite to My Girl (thailand). a good movie will bring u thru the characters' ups n down, tears n joys and these both movies done tt.
however, after watching In America, i dun think Samantha Morton derserved an oscar nominee nod at all for best actress for her just-pass acting. but i think she got the nod cos it was a very very good role to play, with a lot of space to develop and show her acting talents, or her lack of it. she played a mother, inspite of being ill, despraetely wantin to keep her unborn child, cos she has lost one and nvr could forgive herself. her husband too... whn the elder daughter sang desperado, tears just flowed. till now, while recalling, i'm still tryin hard to hold back my tears. it was kinda like a despo call to her parents, after a year plus, to forget the pain n just let go, embracing the new life tt thy have now, w/out their brother. i think the kids who played her daughters in the film betta deserve the oscar nominee nod. anyway, the film reminded me of Angela Ashes, all abt irish families moving to the US for hope of a betta life.
My Girl, funny, sweet, romantic, n sad at the same time. the film reminded us something tt we always forget. always tell the pple ard you how u feel. lert them know your true feelings n how u feel, esp if u like/love/have a crush on them. if u have said, who knows something good might have happened. but if you did not, who knows the next time u'll c her is 20 years later at his/her wedding...
its stilll rainingggg... nice weather to sleep... hopefully i dun oversleep tmr... hopefully it stops raining tmr nite so i can OT... hehe...
caught 2 good movies in the past week. Core screening of In America and a free invite to My Girl (thailand). a good movie will bring u thru the characters' ups n down, tears n joys and these both movies done tt.
however, after watching In America, i dun think Samantha Morton derserved an oscar nominee nod at all for best actress for her just-pass acting. but i think she got the nod cos it was a very very good role to play, with a lot of space to develop and show her acting talents, or her lack of it. she played a mother, inspite of being ill, despraetely wantin to keep her unborn child, cos she has lost one and nvr could forgive herself. her husband too... whn the elder daughter sang desperado, tears just flowed. till now, while recalling, i'm still tryin hard to hold back my tears. it was kinda like a despo call to her parents, after a year plus, to forget the pain n just let go, embracing the new life tt thy have now, w/out their brother. i think the kids who played her daughters in the film betta deserve the oscar nominee nod. anyway, the film reminded me of Angela Ashes, all abt irish families moving to the US for hope of a betta life.
My Girl, funny, sweet, romantic, n sad at the same time. the film reminded us something tt we always forget. always tell the pple ard you how u feel. lert them know your true feelings n how u feel, esp if u like/love/have a crush on them. if u have said, who knows something good might have happened. but if you did not, who knows the next time u'll c her is 20 years later at his/her wedding...
its stilll rainingggg... nice weather to sleep... hopefully i dun oversleep tmr... hopefully it stops raining tmr nite so i can OT... hehe...
Sunday, February 29, 2004
My i/c................
i've never sent mass mails for a long long time... sent out one today.. here is wht i sent...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear all,
some perverted despo sicko took a old broken down bag belonging to jasmine shi
(in case u're wondering which jasmine.... mcss/ ngee ann fsv/ ngee ann softball/ taka cashier... if still dunno, pls email back n ask...). FAKE louis vuitton wallet (with ONLY $20 in it), keys, handphone, an old t-shirt with a bra (yes, a bra) and tampons (yes, u're reading right) were in it... sicko rite?! bra n tampons aso wana bring home...take the money n handphone n leave the blardi sim card n ic there lah! anyway, the above mentioned person, unfortunately, is waitin to get her money, thus = to no money to get replacements for anything at all.
by any chance, if you guys find an i/c with my name n tt fella look like me, pls call my house immediately. aso, if you find a library book titled "the art of hitting .300" lying around, its most prob mine. pls go to the nearest library n return it for me... thanks a mil...
should anyone has anything urgent to contact me, pls send an email to this address... if not, give a ring to my house, but i doubt i'll be home. since, i'm without my phone, pls dun waste your sms too... heh... once i have the precious vitamin M to get my replacement sim card, i'll send another email round to get your numbers again...
if u're free, pls just reply with your numbers. once i get back my phone, i'll just send an sms round to tell you all tt i can be contacted again... n i need ALL your numbers (including those whom i've know for eons...) cos since the "handphone-era" i nvr ever did used my brains to memorise tel numbers.
thank you all dearest for your kind attention...
jAS
p/s: my heart is not made of gold for the time being... if tt idiot dun send me back my i/c and sim card, hope he/she dies of some terminal illness... suffer like hell till he/she shuts his/her eyes... either tt, or mayb kena knock down by a car, whack by some retard or whtever tt would happen to haul him/her to the police post. n hopefully, the police will "discover" some lost items on him, like my i/c...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
honestly, bra n tampons.. oh man... damn sick... hygiene or not, luckily wasn't much a heavy flow, i had one "heavy flow tampon" in me, the whole day...
such a day, happening once in 4 years, happening to me...
Baby was the 60++ person left in the samsung olympic torchbearer challenge held at civic plaza since ystday. out of 219, not too bad.. hehe... quite an experience i must say...
i WANT my i/c back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear all,
some perverted despo sicko took a old broken down bag belonging to jasmine shi
(in case u're wondering which jasmine.... mcss/ ngee ann fsv/ ngee ann softball/ taka cashier... if still dunno, pls email back n ask...). FAKE louis vuitton wallet (with ONLY $20 in it), keys, handphone, an old t-shirt with a bra (yes, a bra) and tampons (yes, u're reading right) were in it... sicko rite?! bra n tampons aso wana bring home...take the money n handphone n leave the blardi sim card n ic there lah! anyway, the above mentioned person, unfortunately, is waitin to get her money, thus = to no money to get replacements for anything at all.
by any chance, if you guys find an i/c with my name n tt fella look like me, pls call my house immediately. aso, if you find a library book titled "the art of hitting .300" lying around, its most prob mine. pls go to the nearest library n return it for me... thanks a mil...
should anyone has anything urgent to contact me, pls send an email to this address... if not, give a ring to my house, but i doubt i'll be home. since, i'm without my phone, pls dun waste your sms too... heh... once i have the precious vitamin M to get my replacement sim card, i'll send another email round to get your numbers again...
if u're free, pls just reply with your numbers. once i get back my phone, i'll just send an sms round to tell you all tt i can be contacted again... n i need ALL your numbers (including those whom i've know for eons...) cos since the "handphone-era" i nvr ever did used my brains to memorise tel numbers.
thank you all dearest for your kind attention...
jAS
p/s: my heart is not made of gold for the time being... if tt idiot dun send me back my i/c and sim card, hope he/she dies of some terminal illness... suffer like hell till he/she shuts his/her eyes... either tt, or mayb kena knock down by a car, whack by some retard or whtever tt would happen to haul him/her to the police post. n hopefully, the police will "discover" some lost items on him, like my i/c...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
honestly, bra n tampons.. oh man... damn sick... hygiene or not, luckily wasn't much a heavy flow, i had one "heavy flow tampon" in me, the whole day...
such a day, happening once in 4 years, happening to me...
Baby was the 60++ person left in the samsung olympic torchbearer challenge held at civic plaza since ystday. out of 219, not too bad.. hehe... quite an experience i must say...
i WANT my i/c back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2004
2nd day of work at ExxonMobil JLT...
2nd day of work. not too bad. free one moment, busy the next. so far i'm just helping my colleagues prepare n consolidate documents like Purchase Orders Invoicing, Cert of Manufacturing (for local pdts), Cert of Origin and compiling the attachments (to be send together to submit to SICC). learning new stuff everyday but pay, haiz, a bit sucky, $6 an hour. but whr can i find a job that lets me learn so much, "bo ceng hu", letting you stretch 1 hour for lunch (by right, only 30 mins) and no one really rushes you to get back to work. i guess cos thy really treat u like adults, and trust you to have your own initiative.
Being in an environment where some colleagues know your parents can be good and bad. good: if thy have no other things to tok to you, thy tok abt your parents. bad: a bit stressful ah...
sleepy... been waking up at 5.45am. dad fetched me ystday. took the bus at jurong east mrt today. as the bus leaves at 7.34, i gotta be there slightly earlier. n to reach there in time, i gotta catch the 7pm bus at my place to clementi mrt n from there, to jurong east mrt. total trip is abt 20-25 mins. but it makes no sense for me to take the next bus at my place, which is 15 mins later cos i'll be late for the other bus.
k, i'm talking in a big round bush. not thinking clear too. cant think in a straight line... plus, i need to shit. after shit, wash up, no dinner, cos i need to sleep soon... dun wana zzz on a full stomach... gunbound? hmm... mayb tmr, too sleepy n tired...
Being in an environment where some colleagues know your parents can be good and bad. good: if thy have no other things to tok to you, thy tok abt your parents. bad: a bit stressful ah...
sleepy... been waking up at 5.45am. dad fetched me ystday. took the bus at jurong east mrt today. as the bus leaves at 7.34, i gotta be there slightly earlier. n to reach there in time, i gotta catch the 7pm bus at my place to clementi mrt n from there, to jurong east mrt. total trip is abt 20-25 mins. but it makes no sense for me to take the next bus at my place, which is 15 mins later cos i'll be late for the other bus.
k, i'm talking in a big round bush. not thinking clear too. cant think in a straight line... plus, i need to shit. after shit, wash up, no dinner, cos i need to sleep soon... dun wana zzz on a full stomach... gunbound? hmm... mayb tmr, too sleepy n tired...
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Now Showing... 1st Cuts: Sweet Dream and Turtle Soup
i remembered sometime back i dissed a whole load abt sg's film industry. but i watched the first installment of 1st cuts just now, n it threw me back a little. 1st cuts is a series of 4 unrelated stories, shot in HD (high-def) in a kinda tele-movie style.
first, ms shi will tok on the HD thingy... its digital more thn digital if u get wht i mean. colours r slightly sharper, so r the pictures. n i watched it on a 14-inch tv w/ a (oopsy) portable antena which resulted in a bit of "double vision". still, the pics looks soooooo good. but to compare with film, film is of cos better. HD n digital dun give tt kinda "grainy" thingy.
now, i'll tok on the telemovie. script was good!!! in my sense sorta way. its abt a mother n daughter, discovering themselves n each other whn things happen. well, wht could be worse whn u're fatherless, yr granny's in hospital, u're preparing for your O's, yr best friend dun understand u, n u have to help out everyday at the stall, leaving no time to study, much less even for sleeping...
whn thy started to display a certain festival happening in sg's chinese community n the timeline (eg; 5 months to o levels), i tot it was to let viewers understand how much time was left for this gal to study. but its only till she asked her mum y she wans to celebrate all kinda festival, thn i really understood the meaning behind it. before her dad passed away, he would write all the festivals n the calender. n y the mum wanted to celebrate was i guess in remembrence of the dad...
it's a telemovie n i shouldn't cry, in a more common sense of way. but i did. whn both mum n daughter finally understood each other, it was shot/told in such a subtle way. it was touching n tugging at my heart...
eh, but i got something to comment on the lighting leh... maybe its the HD thingy, the "white" looks glaring, thus making those scenes which needed lights turned a bit fake, although the shadows aren't harsh. there was this shot whr the mum was at the stall, n the market behind her was closed. coudn't c much details in the backgrd, thus making the foreground (whr the mum was) a bit kinda "slapped" onto a black screen, mayb it was the contrast between black n white which was too much for me to take.
whn the credits rolled, i saw a familiar few names, like heard n seen their names somewhr out there before... but there was one, i was definate i knew him, m senthil... he was the grip for this telemovie n my coursemate! woohoo!
but overall the movie was good.... really good... if possible, (i might be thinking sfc, mda n raintree pix might read this...) send it for some film fest, digital section... might get back something...
cant wait for the 2nd one next week... btw, its on mediacorp channel 5, 11pm, right after survivor!
n, i missed luo shen's ending last 2 epis again.... damn it! for the 2nd time already! grr... mayb i should just borrow the tape back...
first, ms shi will tok on the HD thingy... its digital more thn digital if u get wht i mean. colours r slightly sharper, so r the pictures. n i watched it on a 14-inch tv w/ a (oopsy) portable antena which resulted in a bit of "double vision". still, the pics looks soooooo good. but to compare with film, film is of cos better. HD n digital dun give tt kinda "grainy" thingy.
now, i'll tok on the telemovie. script was good!!! in my sense sorta way. its abt a mother n daughter, discovering themselves n each other whn things happen. well, wht could be worse whn u're fatherless, yr granny's in hospital, u're preparing for your O's, yr best friend dun understand u, n u have to help out everyday at the stall, leaving no time to study, much less even for sleeping...
whn thy started to display a certain festival happening in sg's chinese community n the timeline (eg; 5 months to o levels), i tot it was to let viewers understand how much time was left for this gal to study. but its only till she asked her mum y she wans to celebrate all kinda festival, thn i really understood the meaning behind it. before her dad passed away, he would write all the festivals n the calender. n y the mum wanted to celebrate was i guess in remembrence of the dad...
it's a telemovie n i shouldn't cry, in a more common sense of way. but i did. whn both mum n daughter finally understood each other, it was shot/told in such a subtle way. it was touching n tugging at my heart...
eh, but i got something to comment on the lighting leh... maybe its the HD thingy, the "white" looks glaring, thus making those scenes which needed lights turned a bit fake, although the shadows aren't harsh. there was this shot whr the mum was at the stall, n the market behind her was closed. coudn't c much details in the backgrd, thus making the foreground (whr the mum was) a bit kinda "slapped" onto a black screen, mayb it was the contrast between black n white which was too much for me to take.
whn the credits rolled, i saw a familiar few names, like heard n seen their names somewhr out there before... but there was one, i was definate i knew him, m senthil... he was the grip for this telemovie n my coursemate! woohoo!
but overall the movie was good.... really good... if possible, (i might be thinking sfc, mda n raintree pix might read this...) send it for some film fest, digital section... might get back something...
cant wait for the 2nd one next week... btw, its on mediacorp channel 5, 11pm, right after survivor!
n, i missed luo shen's ending last 2 epis again.... damn it! for the 2nd time already! grr... mayb i should just borrow the tape back...
Thursday, February 19, 2004
House of Sand and Fog
i'm supposed to be sleeping right now, waking up later at 5am for the england vs portugal friendly. I tossed n turned for over an hour n i simply give up trying to zzz... hope i'll be able to tahan till 7, tt's whn the match ends...
caught House of Sand and Fog just now... definately betta thn mystic river, except, the censored part... i hate censored movies!!! well, its adapted from a novel n its abt everyone making mistakes n losing everything in the end.
story goes like this: kathy (Jennifer Connelly) was wrongly evicted. her husband left her 8 months ago n for the past 8 months she did not check her mails frequently (mistake 1). she was billed a few hundred bucks worth of business tax n she doesn't have a biz at all. but she did seek help to get the taxman off her back. n as she doesn't check her mails frequently, she din know the case wasn't quite done over wif. so, the county decided to evict her cos she did not pay the taxes. but the county did not know she did not owned a biz (mistake 2).
then she met lester (Ron Eldard) on the day of eviction. he's a sherieff, policeman kinda n they fell in love. kathy sought legal assistance to get back the house n learnt tt it was already sold to a retired colonel behrani (Ben Kingsley), an iranian immigrant. behrani wanted to sell the house for 174K, 4 times the price he bought the house for.
when lester knew abt it, he threatened (mistake 3) colonel behrani, to sell the house back to the county, so the legal pple can sue the county n get the house back for kathy. however, behrani went to the internal affairs for help n identified lester.
meanwhile, lester n kathy stayed in a friend's log cabin kinda place. he told kathy tt he needed to go away for a few hours to explain matters wif his wife. (he had stopped loving her many years ago.) while at his home, explaining matters, the internal affairs guy called lester to the office. so lester had no choice but to go n did not tell kathy abt it (mistake 4).
kathy waited for a very long time n tot tt lester was gone for good, back to his wife's arms. so she went to a kiosk, bought drinks, ciggys, n petroleum as she wanted to kill herself. after she topped up the plastic container wif petroleum she opened the boot n found a pistol. she left the petroleum at the kiosk.
she drove back to he old house, drank n tried to shoot herself but the pistol was not loaded. behrani heard her crying outside n saw wht was happening. he carried her into the house n together wif his wife, thy took care of her. meanwhile, lester got back to the lag cabin place n found kathy missing. his next instinct was to go to the house to look for her.
while lester was driving up to the house, kathy went to the bathroom to vomit due to the drinks. behrani's wife, nadi (Shohreh Aghdashloo) told kathy to take a bath to relax. in there, kathy found nadi's pills (mistake 5, nadi, knowing she is disturbed should have taken out the pills). she swallowed 20 tabs. nadi went on the check on her n found her unconcious. she forced kathy to empty her stomach. wif help from her husband, thy were trying to help kathy to the room while lester arrived. he loaded the gun n saw kathy very weak. he tot the family was trying to harm her.
he locked the family in the toilet while kathy rested in the room. the next morning, he made a deal wif behrani which would c them getting a sum of money while behrani gets to keep the house. thy drove to the county to sign papers. as he turned behrani against a wall (mistake 6), he remind him of wht he should do, behrani's son, Esmail (Jonathan Ahdout) took lester's gun for self defence (mistake 7). police arrived n shot esmail as he refused to drop the gun.
esmail died n behrani killed his wife n himself. meanwhile, lester was locked up for threats (i guess) n kathy was all alone again.
for the mistakes behrani made, he lost his life, his wife n his son n the 174K. issit a mistake for behrani wanting a good life for his family?
lester, in bid to help kathy, lost his freedom. kathy, in the quest to get back the house her dad left her, lost her bf n i guess, a bit of her "liang zhi", almost her life n her senses. issit a mistake for kathy, for being so insistent tt she wants to get back a house which her dad paid for 30 years?
this novel tells us something: in order to get something u want, u may directly or indirectly do hurt to another. n at the end of it, issit worth all that trouble?
caught House of Sand and Fog just now... definately betta thn mystic river, except, the censored part... i hate censored movies!!! well, its adapted from a novel n its abt everyone making mistakes n losing everything in the end.
story goes like this: kathy (Jennifer Connelly) was wrongly evicted. her husband left her 8 months ago n for the past 8 months she did not check her mails frequently (mistake 1). she was billed a few hundred bucks worth of business tax n she doesn't have a biz at all. but she did seek help to get the taxman off her back. n as she doesn't check her mails frequently, she din know the case wasn't quite done over wif. so, the county decided to evict her cos she did not pay the taxes. but the county did not know she did not owned a biz (mistake 2).
then she met lester (Ron Eldard) on the day of eviction. he's a sherieff, policeman kinda n they fell in love. kathy sought legal assistance to get back the house n learnt tt it was already sold to a retired colonel behrani (Ben Kingsley), an iranian immigrant. behrani wanted to sell the house for 174K, 4 times the price he bought the house for.
when lester knew abt it, he threatened (mistake 3) colonel behrani, to sell the house back to the county, so the legal pple can sue the county n get the house back for kathy. however, behrani went to the internal affairs for help n identified lester.
meanwhile, lester n kathy stayed in a friend's log cabin kinda place. he told kathy tt he needed to go away for a few hours to explain matters wif his wife. (he had stopped loving her many years ago.) while at his home, explaining matters, the internal affairs guy called lester to the office. so lester had no choice but to go n did not tell kathy abt it (mistake 4).
kathy waited for a very long time n tot tt lester was gone for good, back to his wife's arms. so she went to a kiosk, bought drinks, ciggys, n petroleum as she wanted to kill herself. after she topped up the plastic container wif petroleum she opened the boot n found a pistol. she left the petroleum at the kiosk.
she drove back to he old house, drank n tried to shoot herself but the pistol was not loaded. behrani heard her crying outside n saw wht was happening. he carried her into the house n together wif his wife, thy took care of her. meanwhile, lester got back to the lag cabin place n found kathy missing. his next instinct was to go to the house to look for her.
while lester was driving up to the house, kathy went to the bathroom to vomit due to the drinks. behrani's wife, nadi (Shohreh Aghdashloo) told kathy to take a bath to relax. in there, kathy found nadi's pills (mistake 5, nadi, knowing she is disturbed should have taken out the pills). she swallowed 20 tabs. nadi went on the check on her n found her unconcious. she forced kathy to empty her stomach. wif help from her husband, thy were trying to help kathy to the room while lester arrived. he loaded the gun n saw kathy very weak. he tot the family was trying to harm her.
he locked the family in the toilet while kathy rested in the room. the next morning, he made a deal wif behrani which would c them getting a sum of money while behrani gets to keep the house. thy drove to the county to sign papers. as he turned behrani against a wall (mistake 6), he remind him of wht he should do, behrani's son, Esmail (Jonathan Ahdout) took lester's gun for self defence (mistake 7). police arrived n shot esmail as he refused to drop the gun.
esmail died n behrani killed his wife n himself. meanwhile, lester was locked up for threats (i guess) n kathy was all alone again.
for the mistakes behrani made, he lost his life, his wife n his son n the 174K. issit a mistake for behrani wanting a good life for his family?
lester, in bid to help kathy, lost his freedom. kathy, in the quest to get back the house her dad left her, lost her bf n i guess, a bit of her "liang zhi", almost her life n her senses. issit a mistake for kathy, for being so insistent tt she wants to get back a house which her dad paid for 30 years?
this novel tells us something: in order to get something u want, u may directly or indirectly do hurt to another. n at the end of it, issit worth all that trouble?
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Romantic pizza night...
Date: 16th Feb 2004, Monday...
Time: 12.46pm
Venue: library @ orchard
i was sms-ing the gals, suggesting jap buffet for dinner tonite to celebrate winn's bday. when i was sms-ing, this sudden urge of emotions, feelings swarmed upon me. It's been a good 9 years we've known each other and coming to a decade now. yet, we still keep in contact n meet up once in a while. it's tt kinda very warm, sappy kinda feeling. i can imagine us in our 30's, 40's, smsing or calling each other out for a gals-nite dinner or even a sunday outing wif our kids in tow. at this moment, i tried hard to fight back my tears. at the same time, i feel so happy and fortunate to have known them. cheers n kudos to our everlasting friendship! love ya gals! *hugzzZZ*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Date: 16th Feb 2004, Monday...
Time: 9ish
Venue: cafe cartel, plaza singapura
i pictured myself as an outsider, looking at us 5... these gals r planning for a wedding. plannig wht to wear, whn to shop, how to go thru the clothes changes during the big day n a rough timeline for the next 9-10 months... all of the sudden, i felt "grown-up". mayb to me, getting married is a grown up thing. n helping out someone close to me is a feeling tt i cant put words to.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Date: 18th Feb 2004, Wednesday...
Time: 2.27am
Venue: home
had to type out the above first b4 i continue wif today's entry... hence the time diff...
went for an interview just now. advertising admin asst. not my excate dream job, but close enuff. hope it can help me pave a way into advertising. will only know the results 2 weeks later... aft tt i went home. got a call later saying thr was a temp position for me, starting next wed, doing data entry. so now my plan is to work there first, n c the result 2 weeks later. unsuccessful, resumes sending time again. successful, 3 days notice n off i go...
how i celebrate my v's day? to many others v's day is a day whr candlelight dinner n roses r a must. for me? as long as i get to spend the day wif my Baby, i call it "celebrating". he popped by n we ordered pizza, watched lost in translation (d/led... hehe...) n soccer together. for me, eating pizza n watching soccer together is kinda romatic, i was actually smiling to myself.. hehe... even though my parents were ard, but it felt as though we were alone, quiet n peaceful...
this year's mtv asia awards was held on v's day. n i guess the best present for A*mei was tt she won the most popular taiwan astist! so happy for her!
wow, long entry today, but i still got things to say. well, there's some electrical rewiring gog on at my block n tmr's electricity will be cut... n i hate bathing in cold water n gog out wif oily hair (after abt 20 hours of not washing my hair, eeks....). so to get myself fresh n to avoid cold water, i'm bathing soon, wait for hair to dry n then sleep... wake up ard noon, look for angie to buy foundation, thn make my way to library@espanade n rot out till Baby knocks off. then its dinner time n House of Sand and Fog time wif him... using the "pre-paid" card of cos... heh...
kk, bathing soon cos sleeping soon... *poof*
Time: 12.46pm
Venue: library @ orchard
i was sms-ing the gals, suggesting jap buffet for dinner tonite to celebrate winn's bday. when i was sms-ing, this sudden urge of emotions, feelings swarmed upon me. It's been a good 9 years we've known each other and coming to a decade now. yet, we still keep in contact n meet up once in a while. it's tt kinda very warm, sappy kinda feeling. i can imagine us in our 30's, 40's, smsing or calling each other out for a gals-nite dinner or even a sunday outing wif our kids in tow. at this moment, i tried hard to fight back my tears. at the same time, i feel so happy and fortunate to have known them. cheers n kudos to our everlasting friendship! love ya gals! *hugzzZZ*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Date: 16th Feb 2004, Monday...
Time: 9ish
Venue: cafe cartel, plaza singapura
i pictured myself as an outsider, looking at us 5... these gals r planning for a wedding. plannig wht to wear, whn to shop, how to go thru the clothes changes during the big day n a rough timeline for the next 9-10 months... all of the sudden, i felt "grown-up". mayb to me, getting married is a grown up thing. n helping out someone close to me is a feeling tt i cant put words to.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Date: 18th Feb 2004, Wednesday...
Time: 2.27am
Venue: home
had to type out the above first b4 i continue wif today's entry... hence the time diff...
went for an interview just now. advertising admin asst. not my excate dream job, but close enuff. hope it can help me pave a way into advertising. will only know the results 2 weeks later... aft tt i went home. got a call later saying thr was a temp position for me, starting next wed, doing data entry. so now my plan is to work there first, n c the result 2 weeks later. unsuccessful, resumes sending time again. successful, 3 days notice n off i go...
how i celebrate my v's day? to many others v's day is a day whr candlelight dinner n roses r a must. for me? as long as i get to spend the day wif my Baby, i call it "celebrating". he popped by n we ordered pizza, watched lost in translation (d/led... hehe...) n soccer together. for me, eating pizza n watching soccer together is kinda romatic, i was actually smiling to myself.. hehe... even though my parents were ard, but it felt as though we were alone, quiet n peaceful...
this year's mtv asia awards was held on v's day. n i guess the best present for A*mei was tt she won the most popular taiwan astist! so happy for her!
wow, long entry today, but i still got things to say. well, there's some electrical rewiring gog on at my block n tmr's electricity will be cut... n i hate bathing in cold water n gog out wif oily hair (after abt 20 hours of not washing my hair, eeks....). so to get myself fresh n to avoid cold water, i'm bathing soon, wait for hair to dry n then sleep... wake up ard noon, look for angie to buy foundation, thn make my way to library@espanade n rot out till Baby knocks off. then its dinner time n House of Sand and Fog time wif him... using the "pre-paid" card of cos... heh...
kk, bathing soon cos sleeping soon... *poof*
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
A Prayer...
Sometimes I really wish to drop dead. Forgive me Lord, but I really feel like a total wreck.
Papa in Heaven, y am i subjected to this kinda misery n punishment? issit a hint, a clue, a tell sign tt i'm drifting too far from You?
I really feel so dead at times abt things gog on ard me. I'm like a zombie, laughing happily, smiling, but deep down i'm frowning...
Living like this, pms-ing the past few months is a huge torture... even hong says tt i have issues to address but how can i? its not i have a way to do it.
all i wan is some support n a pair of caring, strong n concern hands to giude me outta this darkness, giving me attention n concern, is tt too much to ask for?
i'm really a total wreck, someone pass me some depression helpline hotline. meanwhile i'll just reach for my cheer bear...
or mayb i shld just reach for something sharp, but i have no guts. i'm scared of darkness, scared of pain...
Father, i do feel your comforting arms. but, please, pull me outta this darkness. i cant take it anymore...
I know i've been a bad sheep, running away from the flock. i really wana come back, i really do...
Help...
In Jesus Name, Amen...
Papa in Heaven, y am i subjected to this kinda misery n punishment? issit a hint, a clue, a tell sign tt i'm drifting too far from You?
I really feel so dead at times abt things gog on ard me. I'm like a zombie, laughing happily, smiling, but deep down i'm frowning...
Living like this, pms-ing the past few months is a huge torture... even hong says tt i have issues to address but how can i? its not i have a way to do it.
all i wan is some support n a pair of caring, strong n concern hands to giude me outta this darkness, giving me attention n concern, is tt too much to ask for?
i'm really a total wreck, someone pass me some depression helpline hotline. meanwhile i'll just reach for my cheer bear...
or mayb i shld just reach for something sharp, but i have no guts. i'm scared of darkness, scared of pain...
Father, i do feel your comforting arms. but, please, pull me outta this darkness. i cant take it anymore...
I know i've been a bad sheep, running away from the flock. i really wana come back, i really do...
Help...
In Jesus Name, Amen...
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Movies n films galore!!!
Caught Raising Victor Vargus just now... seemed so "student-film" to me. mayb its the script, maybe its the "try-to-b-abstract-but-failed-to-do-so" thing... mayb its the camera work... cant spot flaws in lighting though... seemed a bit draggy, but kinda enjoyable cos there was an old hag... yep, old hag... irritatingly funny old hag... one line from the old hag...
*hand shows a wanking action n toks in a very mexician, latin accent* its bad... its terrib'ole', very terrib'ole' you know...
k, maybe her character is very conservative n holy, tt explains y... one very entertaining character tt spiced up the movie a little...
I spent $90 on the Last Samurai screening to get a Singapore Film Society "member-cum-pre-paid" card. y pre-paid? cos the $90 bucks entitle you to "free" screenings at least twice a month (1st n 3rd wed of the month) wif some bonus screenings thrown in now n then... n then again, not actually free cos u spent $90 on it... so i call it the pre-paid card.
Mystic River is on on wed n they're showing some shorts on thurs. can't wait... movies, movies... i'm really born into this! even studied in FSV, the ONLY film school in sg.. hehe...
*hand shows a wanking action n toks in a very mexician, latin accent* its bad... its terrib'ole', very terrib'ole' you know...
k, maybe her character is very conservative n holy, tt explains y... one very entertaining character tt spiced up the movie a little...
I spent $90 on the Last Samurai screening to get a Singapore Film Society "member-cum-pre-paid" card. y pre-paid? cos the $90 bucks entitle you to "free" screenings at least twice a month (1st n 3rd wed of the month) wif some bonus screenings thrown in now n then... n then again, not actually free cos u spent $90 on it... so i call it the pre-paid card.
Mystic River is on on wed n they're showing some shorts on thurs. can't wait... movies, movies... i'm really born into this! even studied in FSV, the ONLY film school in sg.. hehe...
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Lost feeling... Last samurai... A*Mei...
I'm havin "the" lost feeling now... gog to breakdown sooner or later so i have to keep myself bz... so, here i am... Wana calll or sms to know wht he's doin but i know he's bz at a frd's place, therefore i dun wana disturb him. dun wana let him find me naggy or too "disturbing" least i get awoken from the new nice dream... so, here i am...
Caught The Last Samurai. Cried at the end of the film cos i was touched by the dignity, passion n strenght Katsumoto has. the scene now is still vividly playing in my mind... the drive he has to ride forward... the refusal to die at the end of his enemy... the enemy touched by his determination to b a samurai till his last breath, till they knelt n bow as katsumoto ended his life, the samurai way... it aso enriched my mind abt the different parts of the samurai ways. be it fully fictional or non-fictional, it did put some facts into my head. To me, Tom Cruise was just a supporting role, the real stars r the samurais.
think.. think.. betta think of things to write... i dun wana breakdown...
Exclusive... A*Mei was in town to shoot a TVC. the brand: some china ice tea tt Sun Yanzi has endorsed b4. she was so herself... Bubbly, cute, chatty n showed concern to each n everyone of us there. Seeing her again was great. The last time was at her concert... next time she's coming, its for the MTV Awards on V's day...
Editing the photos for the china trip now... Need photoshop for more control but yet to install... abt the china trip, the last few entries r still, hmm, still waitin to be churned out... kinda lazy to write... mayb i shld go back to the photos.. but its getting more n more monotonous n i dun wana breakdown! argh...
Write write.. think think... argh! blank mind now... ending quote: whn u like something too much, u'll cling on too tightly cos u dun wana lose it... but clinging on too tight, u'll still lose it... haiz... mayb i shld just go to my room n let go...
Caught The Last Samurai. Cried at the end of the film cos i was touched by the dignity, passion n strenght Katsumoto has. the scene now is still vividly playing in my mind... the drive he has to ride forward... the refusal to die at the end of his enemy... the enemy touched by his determination to b a samurai till his last breath, till they knelt n bow as katsumoto ended his life, the samurai way... it aso enriched my mind abt the different parts of the samurai ways. be it fully fictional or non-fictional, it did put some facts into my head. To me, Tom Cruise was just a supporting role, the real stars r the samurais.
think.. think.. betta think of things to write... i dun wana breakdown...
Exclusive... A*Mei was in town to shoot a TVC. the brand: some china ice tea tt Sun Yanzi has endorsed b4. she was so herself... Bubbly, cute, chatty n showed concern to each n everyone of us there. Seeing her again was great. The last time was at her concert... next time she's coming, its for the MTV Awards on V's day...
Editing the photos for the china trip now... Need photoshop for more control but yet to install... abt the china trip, the last few entries r still, hmm, still waitin to be churned out... kinda lazy to write... mayb i shld go back to the photos.. but its getting more n more monotonous n i dun wana breakdown! argh...
Write write.. think think... argh! blank mind now... ending quote: whn u like something too much, u'll cling on too tightly cos u dun wana lose it... but clinging on too tight, u'll still lose it... haiz... mayb i shld just go to my room n let go...
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Nightmare...
it was a horrible Tuesday nite. the sky was overcast. The scene looked dark, misty, foggy, smokey. rain pelted down like no one's business for almost a good 4 hours.
Wednesday morning wasn't tt good either. A gal read a boy's diary. the river is almost bursting its banks. water flowed n flowed till it reach a shallow area. the water couldn't be contained n gushed out. rain fell soon after n the whole area was flooded for almost 3 hours.
Thereafter, the sun came out. the sun beam's were strong n provided much warmth everyone needed. Boy, nightmare was over at last n a beginning of a new nice dream. but i dare not sleep... there's a fear in me... a fear tt whn i wake up, the dream will be gone n the nightmare comes back...
Wednesday morning wasn't tt good either. A gal read a boy's diary. the river is almost bursting its banks. water flowed n flowed till it reach a shallow area. the water couldn't be contained n gushed out. rain fell soon after n the whole area was flooded for almost 3 hours.
Thereafter, the sun came out. the sun beam's were strong n provided much warmth everyone needed. Boy, nightmare was over at last n a beginning of a new nice dream. but i dare not sleep... there's a fear in me... a fear tt whn i wake up, the dream will be gone n the nightmare comes back...
Saturday, January 31, 2004
The Paced Times Online...
Good evening, u're viewing The Paced Times Online... n now, reporting quotes & headlines for these few days from The Paced Times...
Irritate is the root word. 'tion' n 'ed' follows... (29th to 31st Jan)
"Menstration cramps" ranked 2nd most painful ordeal gone thru by women thru a poll done on The Paced Times. Childbirth's still the 1st. (29th Jan)
Xiao Zhu's in town. Upon reaching his hotel, made a 22 year old gal weak at her knees... (30th Jan) Additional reporting: It was after 10pm. 5 gals in a maxi cab set out to follow Xiao Zhu. He wasn't feeling well already. 5 girls din expect much excitment. Xiao Zhu made cute faces n smiled soooo wonderfully at the girls whn the cab n his coach was stopped at a traffic light side by side... so close yet so far. Looked betta in person, so much betta. Tall, tan, cute, handsome, fashionable, jap jap kinda, all girls' dream lover. At the hotel, the girls got down the maxi cab. one of them, who declined to give her full name, only calling herself PS, walk side by side wif xiao zhu n kept looking at him, not saying a word. she was star-struck. whn he got to the lobby, the girls were kept out. whn PS got back to the maxi cab, the only thing she said was "jiao nuan" (legs soft meaning: weak at her knees). She reached for her water bottle n took a few sips, heart beating very fast... "jiao nuan" she said again n again. took her a full 15 mins to return to earth. Xiao Zhu made her day...
Fat old ugly no-brainer linesman denies Man Utd of a penalty, or rather, 2... (31st Jan)
Howard becomes a monkey (not becos its the year of the monkey) to keep Man Utd's 3 points... (31st Jan)
Saha scores his first goal, thanks to a deflection, for Man Utd. (31st Jan)
No nice instant noodles at home. 22 year-old is fooking hungry. (31st Jan)
Season 1 of sex n the city fully downloaded. season 2 follows... (31st Jan)
That's all folks! thank you for your time and attention. till the next installment, bye for now...
Irritate is the root word. 'tion' n 'ed' follows... (29th to 31st Jan)
"Menstration cramps" ranked 2nd most painful ordeal gone thru by women thru a poll done on The Paced Times. Childbirth's still the 1st. (29th Jan)
Xiao Zhu's in town. Upon reaching his hotel, made a 22 year old gal weak at her knees... (30th Jan) Additional reporting: It was after 10pm. 5 gals in a maxi cab set out to follow Xiao Zhu. He wasn't feeling well already. 5 girls din expect much excitment. Xiao Zhu made cute faces n smiled soooo wonderfully at the girls whn the cab n his coach was stopped at a traffic light side by side... so close yet so far. Looked betta in person, so much betta. Tall, tan, cute, handsome, fashionable, jap jap kinda, all girls' dream lover. At the hotel, the girls got down the maxi cab. one of them, who declined to give her full name, only calling herself PS, walk side by side wif xiao zhu n kept looking at him, not saying a word. she was star-struck. whn he got to the lobby, the girls were kept out. whn PS got back to the maxi cab, the only thing she said was "jiao nuan" (legs soft meaning: weak at her knees). She reached for her water bottle n took a few sips, heart beating very fast... "jiao nuan" she said again n again. took her a full 15 mins to return to earth. Xiao Zhu made her day...
Fat old ugly no-brainer linesman denies Man Utd of a penalty, or rather, 2... (31st Jan)
Howard becomes a monkey (not becos its the year of the monkey) to keep Man Utd's 3 points... (31st Jan)
Saha scores his first goal, thanks to a deflection, for Man Utd. (31st Jan)
No nice instant noodles at home. 22 year-old is fooking hungry. (31st Jan)
Season 1 of sex n the city fully downloaded. season 2 follows... (31st Jan)
That's all folks! thank you for your time and attention. till the next installment, bye for now...
Saturday, January 24, 2004
No more slack!
starting work tmr as a temp data entry. data entry is boring, nothing much to learn. working place is dman ulu. start work at 8.15, so blardi early. pls pls, let me get the advertisment admin job.
btw, since i'll be starting work, unless there's something of a huge impact to be written down, i guess the diary's gonna be slightly abandoned... will try to pop in to write.
i miss my Baby... hope if nothing crops up or goes wrong, i'll be able to c him tmr...
btw, since i'll be starting work, unless there's something of a huge impact to be written down, i guess the diary's gonna be slightly abandoned... will try to pop in to write.
i miss my Baby... hope if nothing crops up or goes wrong, i'll be able to c him tmr...
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
What doing me? Me doing what?
I have a weird bio-clock these days.. actually, starting from Sat nite after the reunion at grandma's place.. Slept at ard 10pm then woke up at 5am on Sunday. Went to pee n then i can't get back to sleep... slept at 10+pm on sunday nite n again i woke up at 5am... Went to pee n slept till abt 7am. Slept at 10+pm again, waking up at 5 am today. went back to sleep n opened my eyes to c light at 7+, finally i really owke up at 9... AND i set the alarm clock for the past few mornings at 9am! haiz... weird... n i'm already yawning away now...
of all those 8 "things-to-do" only 2 were done... packing up n tidying my room took abt 3 days... rest of the time spent on running errands, colouring my hair, reading, taking breaks in-between, and dunno what else. i felt busy, but my gunbound ranking hasn't climbed much, nor my trivia did... but i really dunno wht i really did... just bz...
made tom yum steamboat today at home. spent the whole afternoon preparing the stuff. now, my nails are only half done... base colour done.. wondering to do a french tip or do some designs...
Very sleepy!!! zzZZZ...
of all those 8 "things-to-do" only 2 were done... packing up n tidying my room took abt 3 days... rest of the time spent on running errands, colouring my hair, reading, taking breaks in-between, and dunno what else. i felt busy, but my gunbound ranking hasn't climbed much, nor my trivia did... but i really dunno wht i really did... just bz...
made tom yum steamboat today at home. spent the whole afternoon preparing the stuff. now, my nails are only half done... base colour done.. wondering to do a french tip or do some designs...
Very sleepy!!! zzZZZ...
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Things-to-do
Here's a list of things-to-do...
1) pack up my room - erm... always say tt, but minor cleanups here n there... i need a major overhaul!
2) finish writing abt the china trip - yesh, been back for a few months n left a few days of entries to write...
3) arrange n "name" the photos taken in china - to send to relatives n to know wht was taken where...
4) register for driving classes - since oct (?) i've been saying abt it... its "next year" already...
5) reinstall my adobe softwares into the comp - as all of u who wld know, mine's a xp now... reinstalled almost everything... but not almost...
6) sort out my mp3s - well, thy need to be re-catergorised again... after loading them into the comp after it has become a xp...
7) get a "cargo" skirt for new year - explainatory by itself
8) settle misc stuff wif someone who i no longer tok to - need to get back some files n my stuff from his place. need to settle distributorship rights too...
9) get a PT job...
Chinese always say not to carry old debts, old stuff into the new year... can i complete my mission of 9 things in excately 2 weeks? hmm, actually the skirt is a "have to" thingy rite? its for the new year mah.. doh... so its huat ah! (yesh, pun intended... although not funny)
1) pack up my room - erm... always say tt, but minor cleanups here n there... i need a major overhaul!
2) finish writing abt the china trip - yesh, been back for a few months n left a few days of entries to write...
3) arrange n "name" the photos taken in china - to send to relatives n to know wht was taken where...
4) register for driving classes - since oct (?) i've been saying abt it... its "next year" already...
5) reinstall my adobe softwares into the comp - as all of u who wld know, mine's a xp now... reinstalled almost everything... but not almost...
6) sort out my mp3s - well, thy need to be re-catergorised again... after loading them into the comp after it has become a xp...
7) get a "cargo" skirt for new year - explainatory by itself
8) settle misc stuff wif someone who i no longer tok to - need to get back some files n my stuff from his place. need to settle distributorship rights too...
9) get a PT job...
Chinese always say not to carry old debts, old stuff into the new year... can i complete my mission of 9 things in excately 2 weeks? hmm, actually the skirt is a "have to" thingy rite? its for the new year mah.. doh... so its huat ah! (yesh, pun intended... although not funny)
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