Tuesday, March 30, 2004


Totally outta sorts at work today. Staple remover rite in front of me n I din c it. Pen rite in front of me n i searched all over my table for it. was photostating something n needed my pencil, which I actually forgotten tt i took it with me all along, making a wasted trip back to my table to look for it. wrote wrong names on the wrong packs of food even with the list in front of me. even the simple, unforgettable steps of gog thru the SAP system to get a PO moving was so difficult. had to stare, look back n forth at my comp n the paper, check, double check, triple check, quadriple check n then i forgot wht to do next. even my colleagues was wondering wht was wrong with me. i wondered too. did i get out from the wrong side of bed. or was it just monday blues.

caught monster just now. diff pple would have diff POVs of the movie. for me, a straight gal, watching Charlize Theron (Aileen/ Lee) n Christina Ricci (selby) makin out should be kinda gross. it was gross the 1st time whn thy kissed. but during their 2nd time, i was drawn to lee's love for selby. she simply just never expect to fall for selby at first. somehow i think sel is the bitch who had a hand in ruining lee's life. lee loved this gal who picked her up at a bar cos she was bored n was running away from her dad. n sel later kinda did her in. in my pov, she knows lee loved her a lot, n in turn used this love to turn herself into a prosecution witness.

heart wrenching i must say. depressing rather... hearin n seeing lee's story was really heart ache. no one could have imagined gog thru all the kinda shit. raped by her dad's frd at 8, prostituted herself since 13 and had an abortion b4. if it was me n given tt life, i wont live past my abortion. i might as long just die with the baby who i dun even know who the dad was. i really sympatised with her. n trying to provide a good life for sel was all she wanted. as to y she commited the murders, it was kinda half the reason here n there. guess she got tired of being "humiliated" by men. n once she start killing one outta self defence, she couldnt stop cos it was an ez way out. an ez way out to get money n a car to move to another town for another "new" life with sel. I cried, as n i'm typing this, i'm still crying.

in the court scene, she said something which set me thinking. she scolded the jury for putting to death, a rape victim. had her dad heard her pleas n believed her whn she was 8, she wouldnt have been on death row. given the physological n mental "health" she is in, life imprisonment was cruel enuff. no one asked to be raped at 8! n the murders she did, she still had to pay for them. if the jury feels tt she has to be put to death for the murders she commited, how abt those who raped her n mulitated her? how come thy go away scot free? so is law abt who reporting who to the authorities first? i simply have no idea.

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