Friday, September 30, 2005

3rd round on the way...

Had my chemo started again on Monday. As usual, the last few days, blur blur lying around, restless...

as i watch a red ant struggle on the computer table because i crushed it, i feel half guilty half happy. guilty as these small little creatures have lifes too... happy caused they r damn bloody irritating. these few months, my house is infiltrated with them. dunno where the hell they crawl out from. u cant find a trail of them, just one in about every 2 hours, crawling around. places they are discovered included my room wall, my room table, on the hall's sofa, on my parent's room toilet bowl (extremely huge, queen-looking ants, 2 times), on the bathroom wall, on the kitchen counter, and once in the morning, in MY cup!!! damn these ants! since they dun leave a trail, its hard to track where the stupid nest is. damn these ants...

my mum n i trying a new recepie we saw in a cookbook today. its called semur, otherwise, its stewed beef with some spices... the aroma is making me hungry. actually glad we got rid of beef in the house. my mum's frd bought it for us cos i need red meat as a source of protein. but she bought quite a lot, n my parents dun take beef, only me... my sis, another irritating one, only take beef like yoshinoya's beef bowl or in the form of burgers. no more raw beef in the fridge, as what my mum puts it, taking up space...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Pushed back yet again...

May be counting Mondays instead of Fridays if nothing goes wrong again... For the past week, nothing went wrong, except on Friday.

The actual plan was, blood count at clinic, CT scan of abdomen/ liver, brunch, collect scan n go back to the clinic to c my doc. doc will use the scan n blood test n determine how the following courses of chemo will go.
but what happened was, my white bood cell count was low (as usual, nothing new). cannot CT scan! so scheduled to do the scan ystday.

n again, the actual plan ystday was, blood test at clinic, CT scan, brunch, collect scan, back to c doc n since my blood test passed, start 3rd cycle of chemo on monday.
but what happened was whn i collected back the scan, my doc already left.

So now, monday i'll have to go back to c her instead. n most prob a blood test to c if i can start the 3rd cycle on monday. if i fail blood test, 3rd cycle will begin on tuesday instead.

y isnt there a day where things can go as planned. everytime fail blood test. white blood cell count low, cannot chemo, have to take booster jab n chemo next day. red blood cell count low, have to take jab n iron drip. platelets count low cannot do chemo, luckily this haven happen to me yet. but everytime my chemo keeps pushing back n gets delayed, sometimes really start to wonder whn i can really finish my cycles of chemo...

haiz... ren suan bu ru tian suan (human plan but heaven have another plan)... leave it up to God to decide when i can start my 3rd cycle of chemo already...

Shimbashi Soba

Been to this place twice already. located at the basement of Paragon, it boosts the best soba (japanese buckwheat noodles) i've ever eaten in singapore! Although the average price of 15 to 17 per bowl of soba may seem a bit steep, here are the following reasons why its not.

its HAND MADE. there is this poor japanese guy standing, kneading the dough, cutting the noodles even before the restaurant opens. somehow or rather, he kinda looks like an exhibit, standing behind a glass wall doing his stuff, while pple like me ogle at his skills.

its VARIETY. u cant say its a lot, nor can u say its little. you can choose from either chilled/ dry or warm/ soup soba as usual. but they have different broths/ flavours to choose from. for example, if u're craving for duck, they have soba with duck, either chilled or warm. honestly, i rarely seen japanese restaurants/ eateries serving duck!

the portion is HUGE. its like ordering a 5 bucks char kuay teow, hokkien mee or char tau kuay n eating it yourself. each portion can serve 1 n a half persons.
if u are a small eater, get another small eater along with you, order a bowl of soba and some sides, which i would suggest trying their teriyaki chicken. but actually, i finished the entire bowl myself, rite down to the last drop of soup... haha...

its TASTE. like i've said above, i finished the entire bowl myself, rite down to the last drop of soup. its very different.
firstly, it does not taste like its all shoyu (soy sauce) n nothing else, some places' noodles taste just like that.
secondly, it does not taste like the broth is made using those bottled/ packaged/ already prepared ones. i've tried making soba at home, using those "instant" noodles n soup bought from the supermarket. after eating at Shimbashi, it made those "instant" ones inedible...

its FLEXIBILITY. dun worry if u do not like soba, u can request for yr meal to be changed to HAND MADE udon for u. so if u're a udon lover, u still can enjoy the goodness of the broth n soups. oh yes, their udon is also damn good! its very "q" n springy!

its SPECIAL OF THE MONTH. each month, the chefs will add to the menu a few dishes. but sadly, its only for that particular month. so be sure to check the menu monthly (they have it displayed outside the restaurant) for those specials.

its STAFF. they are very friendly n polite. if u dunno what to eat, ask them for recommendations, they will gladly n patiently attend to you. they even teach you how to eat n enjoy your soba!

its LONG Q during lunch n dinner hours. it does prove that its worth a try.

Now that i've found a fantastic soba/ udon place, its still kinda pity there isnt a ramen place in singapore that i can billed it as fantastic yet.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

The problem with Kytril & Motilium...

a very long entry which starts its story from last Thursday...

Thursday: white blood count low as usual. given booster as usual.

Friday: chemo as usual. my 12 course "meal"...

Saturday: feeling a bit tired as usual...

Sunday: i woke up at 5pm n missed a dosage of Kytril & Motilium. Didn't feel too good already. somehow or rather, something not rite, tot was because i slept too long. Then i took my medication as usual n started on my dinner. not much appetite. then HELL BEGINS.... i started to vomit. even after later when i took water, i threw up... so i went to lie n rest in bed n slept.

Monday: woke up at 12 noon. still dun feel quite good. no appetite still but still took my medication n managed to eat a bit. only to have HELL CONTINUING... i threw up again. took water also throw. every time i try to ingest, i throw. think it was abt a total of 4 times then i got my mum to call the clinic to see if doc ard. wanted to ask if it was because i miss that dosage of Kytril. instead i was asked to go down asap. my mum called a cab n we went down.
on the way down from my house, in the lift, on the cab, along the way, reached Mount E medical centre, to the clinic's door, i threw up a total of 3 times, even though i had NOTHING in my stomach! i think i ended up throwing up my gastric juices n loads of air... dun ask me how i threw up air, i just did, it was something like burping, only that it had more "depth" n "power" n it came up the body fast.
i was given an injection for stopping vomitting immediately. then i was given some milo to warm n soothe my churning stomach n took a dosage of Kytril. reached home only to throw again. took only some porridge water for dinner. i just cant eat cos whenever i open my mouth, i feel like throwing. doc told me to take another dosage of Kytril at bedtime. so i went to rest n lie in bed n took my Kytril quite early.

Tuesday: Had to sit while bathing cos i really had no energy to stand after throwing for 2 days. After i bathed, i threw up air again. then HELL CONTINUES STILL! i had a tummyache n needed to shit. since i have no energy, i couldnt squat n shit. i had to use the toilet in my parents room. my mum had to hold on to me while we walked from toilet to toilet.
before i could even reach the door of my parents room, i started seeing white patches. i had a gut feeling i was almost blanking out. true enough, even before i could step into the toilet, i felt faint n lost strength in my legs. my mum had to pull me up to the bed to lie down. there i was, heart beating fast, breathing fast, breaking out in cold sweat. once i could see clearly again, i proceeded to the toilet to shit.
but before i could totally empty my bowels, i begin to feel light headed again. i immediately cleaned myself n screamed for my mum. time was a huge factor here. so no time was wasted wearing back my underwear n shorts, instead a towel was used to wrap myself up. true enough, before i could lie on the bed, i was already seeing white patches again.
since i had no appetite n had no strength to chew or eat, i spent a whole great afternoon lying there. my mum comes in every one n a half hour or 2 hours to feed me meal replacement drinks or water thru a straw n i would try as hard as i could to dilligently sip the contents into my stomach. it was liquid diet the whole day, even dinner. by evening, i had the little strength to move out to sit in the hall instead.
i tot my throwing had completly stopped, but i was wrong. in a bid to get rid of the thick mucus that refuses to come out thru the proper channel which is the nose, i have no choice but to sniff it in n spit it out through the mouth. in that making-myself-a-little-better act, i choked a little, coughed a little n vomitted out my watermelon juice... had to keep ensuring my shocked mum that it was nothing. but i did not take any Stemetil the whole day cos i really dun have the energy to swallow anything.

Wednesday: woke up early n had breakfast which consisted a small cup of the meal replacement drink n my childhood fave, bread spreaded with condensed sweetened milk. but all i could managed was a quarter of the bread slice but i finished my drink. of cos, i had my Stemetil first as usual. maybe i had not much energy left in me, so usually one Stemetil would not put me to sleep, this time it did.
woke up at lunchtime. mum made a quick meal of beehoon soup with veggies. i finished half a bowl. again, Stemetil put me to sleep real soon. but after this 2nd nap, i woke up feeling great as i normally would. full of energy, not needing anyone to pour water for me, not needing anyone to help me to the toilet, sitting up straight n watching tv. appetite regained during dinner time, n i ate quite a plenty.

Thursday: nothing much happened.

Friday: went back to doc for blood test. white blood cell count was damn low, standing at 0.7... the lowest i ever recorded. doc ordered one booster jab n start of a course of antibiotics. to go back the next day.

Today: Morning was burger king breakfast. chose a secluded corner to avoid pple. luckily we were still early so not much pple ard. not many pple at the clinic. was sitting at the blood testing chair waiting to wait blood, until... i was told... no blood test... straight away 2nd booster jab...

right now, all i can do is wait for my white blood cell count to rise...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Fridays instead of wednesdays

Wednesday: no chemo cos white blood cell count too low. doc wanted to save money for me n did not give me the booster jab. she wanted my white blood cell count to rise up by itself. Then she ask me to go back on friday to check if i could do chemo.

Friday: no chemo too cos white blood cell count too low again. Given the booster jab.

Saturday: at last i could start on my 2nd cycle. besides the normal drugs i had to be given, another iron drip was given too as my red blood cell wasnt looking too good too.

Next thursday i'm gog back for blood test cos as exprienced, my white blood cell count is always on the low. so thursday's blood test is a gauge. if white blood cell count low again, at least i can take the booster n do chemo on friday. so now, instead of counting wednesdays, i'm counting fridays...

feeling sleepy already, due to the stemetil... yawn...