Friday, September 08, 2017

Stacey's 1st Day Of School

Stacey started her 1st day of school on 3rd April 2017. Was so totally alien to the environment that she took almost 2 hours to warm up to teachers & classmates! Did not participate in the morning songs & dance and clinged onto me like super glue instead. When it was story-telling time, while everyone was seated down and listening to the teacher, she decided to explore her classmates' water bottles in the water bottle trolley and walk around machiam her own home. *facepalm*

Finally warmed up when home-made playdough was distributed and she started playing & nipping it into pieces. She even ate a bit, found it tasty, and wanted to eat some more... Her Chinese teacher, 苏老师 said this is the 1st time she encountered someone eating the playdough.

Perhaps she woke up earlier than usual or perhaps she was hungry, she started getting cranky at 11.15am! Typically she lunches at home at about 11.45am-12noon as I've changed her daily schedule around to mirror school's as close as possible.

When lunch was served and I realised we have been duped for the longest time by this little imp. She scooped her food steadily and ate by herself so well! Usually, she has problem scooping the food and even when we pre-load the spoon, she would sometimes overturn it and place an empty spoon in her mouth instead. At other times, she doesn't even want to lift a finger and want us to feed instead. And she finished 2 bowls of food herself!

As the teachers recommend to slowly ease her in, it was only half day for her and we went back after lunch.

Image may contain: 6 people, child

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Stacey Turns 18 Months!

As we inched into her 1st year, settling in as a SAHM was pretty easy for me. Maybe because seeing my girl grow was pretty rewarding or maybe cos I really liked to stay home. Stacey was just developing and growing everyday. She was just getting too fast and honestly, it was hard to be camera ready at all times. Thus, noting down her milestones became a monthly thing instead of a daily affair.

@ 15 Nov 2016 (14m)
- Begins to speak words, added "off (op)" n "t shirt (t terd)" into her list of spoken words.
- Screams n cries d roof down when she doesn't get her way, but thank God sometimes the distracting tactic works, at other times negotiating tactic also can, and at other times just ignoring her works too.
- Runs away or walks backwards to escape from d "crime" scene when she knows she did something she shouldn't do. 
- Wants to help sweep d floor, or rather spreading the dust everywhere. 
- Walks to the shoe rack n points to her shoes when she knows she is going out. 
- Knows how to open & close stuff like zippers, small boxes, ruyi oil metal bottle, etc, put things in or take them out. 
- Knows she has to keep her toys but doesn't wana do it. 
- Keeps wanting to carry our bags.
- Signals for diaper change by bringing her changing mat or diaper to the usual changing spot.
- Wants to eat whatever we r eating.

@ 29 Nov 2016 (14m14d) : Had her 1st haircut! Was kinda expecting her to be restless and fidgeting about because this gal can never sit still. But she surprised us by sitting still throughout the whole session and didn't fuss at all.
1st haircut!

@ 15 Dec 2016 (15m)
- Is running steadily and loves bursting into little sprints.
- Knows the action of washing her hair n hands, brushing her teeth, wiping her mouth n hands, combing her hair. Gosh, am so proud of her understanding!
- Can identify eyes n nose. sometimes say "nose (no)" n "eye" at the same time.
- Added "down (dow)", "throw (tow)", "don't want (dowan), "there (deh)" to her little vocab
- Knows how to clasp her hands together for "sawadee"
- Knows how to share her food n will offer to feed us a bite. but sometimes, d moment the food touches our lips, she will pull back her hand n give us a silly cheeky smile.
- Presses buttons on her toys to lift buttons.
- Knows how to flip switches. Sometimes she helps me switch off lights. sometimes she will switch off papa's laptop while he is working.
- Knows how to act shy.
- Always 播电话粥 with her toy phone. we have no idea what she is blabbering abt or who she is pretending to talk to. sometimes she will pass d phone to us to continue d conversation! sometimes she will mistaken a tv remote control or calculator for a phone too; so long gt numeric number pad looks like phone to her. hahhahahahha

@ 15 Jan 2017 (16m)
- Points to correct person(s) when asked where's papa, mama, yeye, nainai, gonggong, porpor, yiyi, yi jiong, korkor. besides calling papa n mama for d longest time alrdy, she can now call "yeye (yayyay)", nainai (nene) n "porpor (paopao)" too.
- Added "up", "no", "door (dor)", "don't want (douwan)", "ball (bor)" n "bye bye (bah bah)" to her little vocab. randomly blabbers "meiyou 没有", "baobei (宝贝)" n "go where (go weah)" too but doesn't know what it means.
- Won her 1st baby photo contest! she came in 1st for d Little Trivelians Baby Photo Contest 2017 Drypers Happy Tot award.
- Identifies toe, mouth, teeth, ear. sometimes say "toe" n "mouth (mao)" too.
- Attended her 1st Christmas Mass.
- Sometimes sing random tunes.
- Identifies some animals and some of her toys. eg, Hello Kitty, her soft toy dog Violet, dolphin, dog, pig, butterfly, cat/meow meow, cow, giraffe, monkey, ball, car, elephant, etc...
- Identifies some of her daily essentials/items n runs to point to them when mentioned. eg, when her meal is ready, I would tell her, "let me get your bowl...". she would run to find her bowl n point to me.
- Knows certain sequencing of "events" n what certain things r for. eg, i went to d storeroom to get d magiclean tissue wanting to lay d magiclean broom. she saw d tissue on my hands n ran to the kitchen n pointed to d broom.
- Runs to point to our phones when it beeps or rings.
- Likes to pull/drag us by our hands or shorts n sit us down on her playmat, but just watches tv or plays by herself.
- Knows how to clasp both hands together and move it up n down to "gong xi gong xi".
- Closes her hands into a fist and opens them repeatedly when she hears "twinkle twinkle little star".
- Pretends to cook and feed her soft toy dog Violet.

@ 15 Feb 2017 (17m)
- Can say her own name already! Although not v accurate n says "tehti", sometimes "taysi", or even "stati", she is slowly getting closer to the correct pronunciation. she earnestly tries to sound as close as possible when we get her to repeat!
- Can call "gonggong" and "yiyi".
- Can say n identify "bee", "clock (kok)", "shoe", "bowl (bow), "bear (beah)", "dog" n "bag".
- Points to a direction n tell us to "go".
- Opens n closes things while saying "open (ahpun)" n "close (clo)".
- Repeatedly pats on a chair, floor or anywhere n tell us to "sit down (tihdow)".
- comes to me when her portion of snacks run out, points at where I keep d rest, shows me her little snack container and says "more" repeatedly. Sometimes she will turn her hands around repeatedly n say "no more".
- Says "cook" when she sees me cook, when I tell her I wana cook, or when she pretends play cook.
- Stretches out her hands and say "抱抱 (baobao)" when she wants to b carried,sometimes says "up up up" instead. She really wants to be carried so much nowadays, that her legs will kiap u if u try to let her down!!! Makes me suspect if she was a koala her previous life...
- Starting to get a hang of using her spoon n fork to feed herself instead of her hands. Sometimes uses her spoon n tries to cut her food into smaller pcs while saying "cut (ka)".
- Tells us if something she touches is "cold (col)".
- Instead of saying "no no" sometimes, she will say "不要 (biao)" at least 3-4 times repeatedly v fast, thats y it sounds like "biao"...
- Able to stack blocks on top of one another, but sometimes can't stack/balance the blocks properly. best record is 4 blocks for now.
- Attempts her shape sorter puzzles and will fit d pieces in correctly when she has d mood, highest record 5 in a row. more often than not, she loses her patience at even the v first piece...
- Finally willing to help keep her toys. In fact, willing to help in anything and everything, so long as this little ms kaypoh can get and feels involved.
- Wants to try to climb up anywhere and everywhere she thinks she can reach. sometimes she will climb up to sit on d sofa to watch tv.
- Leads us to & from home (right to our doorstep!) & yeye n nainai hse.
- Points at things in d hse n name off who it belongs to.
- Knows how to act blur and pretends not to hear us sometimes!
- Removes her top unassisted.

@ 15 March 2017 (18m)
- Can say n identify "bib (bi)", "banana (nana)", "cup", "spoon (poon)", "cow (moo moo / cow)", "cat", "duck", "car (ka)", "bus (ba)", "hello kitty (kitty)", "horse (hor)", "box (bog), "bread (bet)", "bird (bet)" n "frog (fog)"
- Finally can say "teeth (t)" n "ear". body parts that she can say n identify r "hair (air)", "head", "hand", and "knee". other parts that she can point too but can't say yet r "tongue" n "shoulder".
- Points to Jenson piew kor n call "kor kor". calls "cheh cheh" when she sees a older looking gal on tv. when we tell her a gal younger than her is "mei mei", she will say "mei mei" too.
- Will say "bye bye (bah bah)" while waving goodbye when she is in mood.
- When she sees me combing my hair or when I comb hers, she will touch her hair n say "comb".
- Says "drop" when she sees something drop.
- Will excitedly point to her soup bowl and say "soup (shoop)" when she wants to drink some.
- Brings her finger up to her lips and say "sssh sssh" when she sees her papa or someone napping away .
- Requested a "抱抱" from papa while walking from d living room to the bedroom to turn in for d nite. a few steps later, she said "walk walk". we asked if she wants to come down n walk, she nodded her head very affirmatively. and after papa let her down, she ran into d room.
- Will scream n cry "pain pain" when she hurts herself.
- Always eagerly says "cheese (chee)" when i tell her that her food has cheese. so when i take her photos nowadays, i will tell her to say "cheese" to make her smile.
- Is still getting d hang of drinking from a cup or bowl. Although she can pretty much gauge d angle to tilt, but i still have to hold onto d cup/bowl for her as she tends to swing or shake d cup/bowl while bringing it down, swirling d liquids out sometimes though it is never filled more than 1/3.
- When she spills liquids out from her bowl/cup/bottle, she will say "wet wet" n proceeds to find a tissue or cloth to help wipe up
- Attempts to wear diaper for her soft toy dog Violet or bear. As she doesnt know how, she then requests me to do it. but after i do so, she will take the diaper out...
- When papa is disciplining her, she runs to mama for help if mama is within sight & vice versa.
- If she sees something she knows how to say, she will point at it & say the word repeatedly.
- Likes to open and close the fridge door and attempts to takes things out if we don't stop her in time.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Stacey Is One!

After the 1st month baby shower/celebration and confinement lady left, I was finally slowly getting to enjoy my time with my baby girl, seeing her grow and hit some milestones. Time flew by really quickly and now when I finally have spare time to touch this blog, she is already coming to 2...

Noting down her little milestones for the 1st year...

@ 13 Nov 2015 (8weeks3days) : Stacey slept through the night for the 1st time.
@ 13 Dec 2015 (12w5d) : Stacey rolled over for the 1st time
Stacey rolled over for the 1st time
@ 11 Jan 2016 (16w6d) : I went back to work, and missed my girl terribly
@ about 19w, this girl suddenly could squirm around. Isn't exactly crawling yet...
@ 22 Feb 2016 (22w4d) : Stacey crawled for the very first time, steadily.
@ 13 March 2016 (5m27d) : She had a first taste of cereal.
@ 23 March 2016 (6m8d) : Pulls herself up to stand without any assistance in her cot!
Just the previous week, she was still trying to pull herself up.
@ 26 March 2016 (6m11d) : Stacey sat up by herself unsupported for at least a minute. She had been able to sit up for quite some time, momentarily or unsteadily, rocking a little if unsupported.

@ 23 April 2016 (7m8d) : Her 1st tooth emerges on her lower gum.
@ 29 April 2016 (7m14d) : A new chapter for us begins; I started being a SAHM. 
@ 15 June 2016 (9m) : Had learnt to stand unassisted!
@ 26 June 2016 (9m11d) : Had her first taste of durian and loving it.

@ 4 Aug 2016 (10m20d) : Fell sick for the time time; caught the bug from us... :(
@ 10 Sep 2016 (11m26d) : Celebrated Stacey's birthday in advanced. This girl refused to nap during her usual morning nap time and fell asleep right after she cut her cake. 
@ 4 Oct 2016 (12m19d) : Stacey's first visit to S.E.A. Aquarium! She was pretty much amazed and excited at the different exhibits in the beginning. But after the Ocean Gallery, which is about halfway through the aquarium, this little imp was more interested in looking for people to play with her...
1st visit to S.E.A. Aquarium

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Stacey Turns 1 Month Old!

The first week was a crazy week. When things were moving on to a positive note, we thought it would be smoother sailing... But we were so wrong...

Confinement lady arrived on the 23rd, when Stacey is 8 days old. When the agency's boss brought her over, she had to tell her and remind her what needs to be done. Not being judgemental, but she didn't seem capable or experienced enough.

True enough, she seems a little inexperienced. How the conversation started was when my mum brought her out to do some marketing shortly after she arrived, she asked my mum what I eat and what I don't. What jumped out was throughout the conversation she mentioned that she can cook and it is ok for me to take cauliflower and a kind of none scaly fish, and boil barley for me. We knew that we need an replacement. We made a call to the agency a few hours later after she arrived to request for the change.

The replacement was quickly arranged and another confinement lady arrived on the 26th. This lady is definitely more experienced than the previous one, but she was a little lazy. When she left 20-odd days later, my kitchen was in a mess and looked like it had been used for 20 years even though we had moved in for barely 3 months. There were gravy and oil splatters all over, even on the ceiling. The cooking ware and utensils were greasy and there were burnt stains on some of them. Kitchen wash cloths and the floor were oily as well.
After she left, the hubs and I then had to spend one whole afternoon cleaning the kitchen up. We scrubbed, wiped and washed the kitchen, and threw out the old wash cloths. Suddenly the kitchen looks new again. Even when I was almost cooking everyday for the past 2+ months during the rest of my maternity leave, the kitchen still looks brand new.

And it also didn't help that parenting styles were a little different. Every time when Stacey is due for her feed, she would cry for milk. The hubs and I are ok with Stacey crying a little, and we want her to learn to be a little patient. But the confinement nanny thought otherwise. Every time Stacey starts crying, I would be walking to the kitchen to prep her feed; the confinement nanny would be walking towards Stacey's cot, picking her up, and patting and rocking her. We would keep telling her not to do it, but she would keep doing it.

Also, she can really eat... When she wakes up, she would eat something, be it instant noodles or crackers, etc. Then hubs would go out and grab newspapers and buy back some food. She had no qualms downing that for tea-break. Then she still could eat a mountain of rice for lunch. In the afternoon, she would be looking for food for another tea-break. Then she still, again, could eat a mountain of rice for dinner.  In the 20-odd days she was around, we finished close to 8kg of rice. When I was almost cooking everyday for the past 2+ months during the rest of my maternity leave, we only finished about 3 kg. The amount she eats in a day is probably the equivalent of the total hubs and I eat in a day. Not that we mind, but it was crazy and a little shocking.

As for my recovery... 1 week was over and I was still hurting. Day by day passed and Stacey was soon approaching her 2 week young mark. Still it hurt, badly. I was barely making through the pain with painkillers and stool softener.
Perhaps requesting to see the gynae in 2 weeks was a blessing in disguise. When I went to see him, I complained about the pain. He took a look and reassured me that the stitches were healing well. Then he looked somewhere else and told me it was because of my piles that I was hurting badly. Why did it took me so long to realise?! He then prescribe a cream for me to apply.

For the next few days, I diligently applied the cream after baths and "baking cakes", and the pain quickly subsided. I stopped my painkillers first, but still kept sitting on my swimming ring as it felt a little "raw" down-there.
I then reduced the frequency of applying the cream thereafter, only applying if it hurts after "baking cakes". I also kept trying to sit without my swimming ring on different surfaces from time to time.
Soon, it no longer hurts after "baking cakes" and I stopped applying the cream altogether. I also weaned off sitting on my swimming ring! All this recovery was just in time for Stacey's 1 month old baby shower!

After the crazy first week, the next 3 weeks were trying to bear with the pain, trying to recover, trying to "implement" our parenting style while trying to not let Stacey get used to the confinement nanny's parenting style, and also trying to keep my supply up to match Stacey's increasing feed, etc, I was really shagged out.

And because I was crazily shagged out, the only things I can remember for Stacey's 1 month old baby shower was:
- Being mobbed once I appeared with Stacey in her stroller. Fine, I wasn't the one being mobbed, I was only a bodyguard escorting the main star of the event.
- Sitting at a corner hungry with bare minimal appetite. Wanted to badly get food but hubby and family were busy walking around entertaining people. It was only when my jiemeis arrived and after they have gotten their food, I went to get food while they jagah Stacey. But I barely ate...
- Stacey knocked out on milk and slept allllllll the way through the entire event.
- I didn't take a single photo. Serious.

Friday, January 08, 2016

Crazy First Week...

And so, when I finally got to my room after all the drama and thought I could get some rest, Stacey was wheeled into my room at about 3am. Of course, after being apart from her for a few hours after carrying her for 39 weeks, there was a little separation anxiety and I wanted to see her asap. The nurse told me to try breastfeeding and this is when all the crazy shit started.
I tried latching and feeding my girl once I saw hungry cues. But she was either too sleepy and didn't latched properly, or too frustrated at sucking nothing that she cried the roof down. Then we had to spend time to coax and calm her down to try again. The clocked ticked by and soon she missed 1 feed, and another feed, and another. It didn't occur to me at that point of time to send baby back to nursery so she could have her stomach filled.
I called the lady who was supposed to be my confinement nanny. She had fallen ill with flu and cough due to the haze and couldn't come earlier as my EDD was to be 21 Sep. After discussion with the hubs and parents later in the day, we decided to call off her services and hunt for another one through the agency my sister had engaged one from.
Through this first day I was trying to catch a quick nap here and there. However, it was almost impossible. Every 30-45 minutes since I was pushed to the ward, someone will enter, be it the nurse to take my blood pressure again and again in the morning (turns out to be ok and that delivery suite staff have been taking my blood pressure when I'm lying in a "wrong" position), or a tealady, or someone to take my meals order or deliver food, or the house doctor doing his/her rounds, or nurses coming in to "announce" that they are changing shifts and who are taking over, or nurses sending in medication, or me needing the loo, etc. And on occasions when I can finally fall asleep, I find myself waking up because I feel as though I'm dropping to the ground. Hubs said I'm overly tired hence I'm unable to fall asleep.
In the evening, we made the call to extend 1 more night as we are just too damn tired. 
Also, the gals and their hubs & kids dropped by. Ranted to them about what happened. And since it was time to feed Stacey, the gals stayed to help while the hubs stayed behind the curtains. Again, Stacey cried the roof down as she was too hungry and frustrated and sucking at nothing. Stacey was coaxed and calmed down and curtains were drawn. One couple suggested to send Stacey to the nursery in the night so we could have a good night's rest. Afterall, I need rest and Stacey needs milk after not drinking the whole day. After they left, the hubs and I weighed out the pros and cons and we decided to send Stacey to the nursery.
And so I thought I would have a good night's rest... Didn't happen. I probably had a quick naps when I got woken up a few times through the night. 
The hubs who snores, snored the roof down because his head wasn't well supported. The aircon temperature was turned up too high as it was too cold earlier and the lights were just too bright. I woke the hubs up to help adjust the aircon and lighting as I still couldn't get out of bed unassisted due to the pain and discomfort. And of cos, got him to use a thicker pillow so he could snore softer. Well, I always sleep through his snores, just that this time around, the snores were the loudest ever in our (at that point) close to 11 years together and that I wasn't in comfortable conditions enough for me to fall asleep.
And then, a nurse (not too sure if it was the same person) entered the room twice to take blood pressure readings in the middle of the night.

2nd day was slightly better although I was still damn blardi tired. Thankfully I managed to catch some quick naps during the day.

Got a response from the agency on my last minute request for a confinement lady. The soonest they could  arrange for a confinement lady to arrive was 1 week later. Beggars can't be choosers, so mum took a week's leave to help out for the time being.

Stacey had her jabs to take on this day, so was expected to come into the room late. Again, being apart from her for quite some time, I was so anxious to see my little girl. But what I didn't expect was a already crying hungry and frustrated baby coming into the room. Knowing that my milk supply hasn't kicked in yet, before Stacey could even reach my bedside, I made a heart wrenching decision and told the nurse to send back to nursery for feed.
The hubs went downstairs to get coffee when this happened. And I ranted to him when he came back. I was damn upset that they sent me a crying hungry Stacey expecting me to feed. I'm not a blardi cow and my milk supply hasn't kicked in yet. If Stacey sucks at nothing, she would be even more frustrated. 

When Stacey came back, she was already asleep. Thus the whole reading hunger cues and trying to breastfeed saga continues, and this was another shit waiting to hit the fan. Stacey latched, sucked, cried like mad cos she was sucking at nothing. After going through this on the first day, Hubs and I already discussed and decided that though latching helps supply kick in, we don't want her to go hungry. So when she doesn't get to drink anything, we will send her back to nursery for feed on the 2nd day. So as decided, after a few attempts, we pressed the call button to get someone to bring her to the nursery for feed.
But, the nurses had different ideas. They were so pro-breastfeeding that they forgot about the mother's well being. I'm a first time mum, but I'm not totally clueless. Whoever that came into the room would ask if I have massaged my breasts, if I would want to try again and if they could help me with it, etc. even when I told them that I don't have any supply and that she is hungry. I felt that they did not believe that I had attempted and wanted to take shortcuts and just give formula. They seemed reluctant to bring Stacey back for feed. I had to reason with them and this ding-dong prolonged the feed interval. 

At night, she was sent to the nursery again as me and hubs really needed more rest. As I got woken up in the middle of the night before for blood pressure reading and there wasn't any through daytime on the 2nd day, the hubs checked with the nurse if any readings will be taken at night. And as expected, yes, at 2am and 5am. So hubs made a request with the nurse to take my blood pressure at 1am and 7am instead so we have a long enough period of quality sleep. The nurse agreed and I did manage to some quality sleep.

3rd day morning, milk supply hasn't kicked in yet and it was time to check out. Both Stacey and I changed and Stacey was given one last feed otherwise she would be screaming in the car on the way home. We were told to go to the polyclinic for Stacey's jaundice review the next day. Meanwhile, I was told to go back 6 weeks later for gynae appointment. Hubs and I requested for an appointment 2 weeks later, at least to check on the stitches.
When we reached home, attempt to breastfeed felt less stressful. It was latch, no milk, cry, formula given to supplement. But we also realised that whenever she was drinking, she was sucking hard and hurriedly on her teat, as though she was afraid that someone will take her milk away from her. As she drank, we kept talking and reassuring her that no one will take her milk away from her and that she will have her fill.
4th day morning, we went to the polyclinic for Stacey's check up and jaundice review. As she was a newborn, we could "jump" queue and it wasn't as slow and draggy as expected, but still slow. Her count was 220 and the doc said it wasn't high enough for phototherapy, but it was borderline high. We were to go back on the following Monday when Stacey is 6 days old for another review.
When we got home, hubs and I quickly discussed if we would want to continue at the polyclinic on Monday. We thought about what if the levels are still high and she needed phototherapy, then we have to travel down to KKH, ding-dong here and there, a lot of time wasted. However, if we were to go to a PD, it would be much faster. So we decided to go to the PD my sister is bringing my nephew to. But I was a few minutes too slow, when I called to make an appointment, the clinic was closed for the day. So we decided to make the call Monday morning.
Meanwhile, we also decided to drop latching as the main concern was to keep Stacey hydrated, and so I tried pumping. Nothing came out...
For the first time that night, Stacey didn't cry the roof down when she was hungry. She cried still, but it wasn't a desperate kinda heart wrenching cry. When she cried previously, it was as though she was starving, desperate for milk, but nobody is giving her milk. This time around, it was just a cry to alert us that she is hungry.
Hubs and I then deduce that the poor gal was starving at the nursery, crying hard for attention for the nurses to feed her. No wonder, she was sucking furiously on her teat previously... We kinda regretted not being very firm with the nurses and insisted on sending her to the nursery immediately and allowed the dilly-dallying to take place. Her not being hydrated could highly be partially the reason to her borderline high jaundice levels.
On the 5th day morning, we tried to sun Stacey a little and still keep hydrating her. Meanwhile, I pathetically managed to hand express 5ml of milk in total for both boobs that night. Woohoo, supply has kicked in!
Made a call to the PD's on the 6th day morning, which was Monday. Quickly made an appointment and we rushed down to the PD's at Mt. E Novena. At the PD's, Stacey was given a quick check up and we went downstairs for blood test. We grabbed a quick lunch at Starbucks while waiting for the blood test. Clinic called when the test results were ready and we went back up.
Looking at Stacey's eyes and skin colour, I already kinda knew she might have high jaundice. And true enough, her count was 253 and we decided to admit her in for phototherapy upon PD's recommendation. All this while, my mum was carrying Stacey as my down-there was still hurting like a bitch and I needed to carry my swimming ring around to facilitate my sitting down. While waiting for the clinic to make the necessary arrangements, I took over Stacey from my mum and cradled her.
Tears just flowed... I was mentally and physically prepared, but not emotionally. Stacey will be taken away from me again and for the first time, she will be sleeping away from home, away from her cot. While cradling her, I talked to her again and reassured her that it was for her own good and that mama will miss her.
We then went over to the hospital side to make the necessary check in arrangements, and in Stacey went into the nursery, untagged... I had to control myself from freaking out at that point. My Stacey went in untagged, so would there be a mistaken identity and would my Stacey come back to me? A nurse walked past and was about to enter the nursery and we told her what happened. She reassured us, told us not to worry and that all babies in the nursery are tagged expect for ours, so there won't be any mistaken identities. Soon after, the nurse who took Stacey in brought her out again and started to do the tagging in front of us. She also briefed us on what to do should we want to visit later and got necessary information from us.
Reached home and rested. The hubs and parents in law went over to the hospital later in the evening to visit her, but I stayed home due to the pain and discomfort. Hubs came back and reassured me that she was in good hands. But the house felt empty and different somehow. Stacey wasn't around and I couldn't hear her cries. I couldn't stop missing her. I hugged her blanket and cried myself to sleep.
Amazingly, that was the first night in 6 days I felt rested. First time in 6 days I woke up feeling refreshed. Told hubs that maybe God sent her away for a night so we could have a good night's rest to refresh and energise ourselves.
The next morning, the hospital called, told us that Stacey's jaundice levels have fell and she could be discharged. And of course, we rushed to go down to pick her up. I would have loved to carry her the moment she came out from the nursery, but like the previous day, down-there was still hurting like a bitch. So my mum helped.
I could tell my darling girl was feeling better. Her eyes were no longer yellow, skin was no longer dull and dark, she was more alert and less sleepy.
At this point, my yield was still low and couldn't meet her daily needs. So I was pumping and supplementing with formula as we needed to monitor how much she is drinking as well.
With all on a positive note, we thought it would be smoother sailing... But we were so wrong...

Monday, January 04, 2016

Stacey Wong Has Arrived

The last 3+ months have gone by so quickly, the first couple of weeks chaotically, and this was how it started...
In the wee hours of 2-odd am, close to 3am on 15 Sep, I got up after having about 1.5 hours of sleep because I had a lot of gas, refluxing a little and needed a good burp to release it. After feeling much better, I got up to go to the toilet. It was at that very moment it felt as though a water balloon burst between my legs.
The hubs had just crawled onto bed then and barely closed his eyes. So I quickly rushed to the toilet and checked while shouting, "Dear, I think my water bag broke". We quickly changed and he called for a cab. Reached KKH at about 3.30am. No contractions still, but apparently I'm already 1cm dilated. By 4.15am, I was pushed into the delivery suite and the waiting game started. IV drip was poked into my hand and first contraction was felt slightly after 5am.
Like all births, the contractions got a little more painful, a little more intense and frequency became closer, but this stretched across a very long while for me. My gynae came by after 9am to check on me, dilation barely increased. So, he ordered for induction to begin. I chose to have epidural as I know my threshold of pain is freaking low. Epidural was first administered then followed by the drug for induction. By then, it was already 11-odd am, and the waiting continues.
Epidural kicked in fast, and pain was bearable. However, the block was a little too much for me to take. I was also throwing up air and whatever little liquids my stomach has, and was freaking breathless and drowsy. We called to lower the dosage a little and ended up ding-donging with the midwife and house anaesthetist for the next 1-odd hour. They kept insisting that anti-nausea drug will help with the nausea and that it is normal (we freaking know), but offered no solution for the breathlessness and drowsiness. After our much insistence, the house anaesthetist finally lowered the dosage from 10ml to 8ml and administered the anti-nausea drug. I felt a little better thereafter and was able to breathe normally. The real anaesthetist who jabbed my back came by close to 1pm and assessed the situation. She gave a better review of the situation and made the call to lower the dosage even further to 5ml. She also mentioned that if I'm still not feeling better, we would have a choice to remove a certain content in epidural but it may affect the overall efficacy of epidural. We didn't eventually because I felt way way much even better after the 2nd reduction.
The hubs who by now had not slept for more than 24 hours, is trying to take his forty winks on the couch beside me.  I was also trying to catch some sleep, but it was hard to doze off into deep or even proper sleep. Perhaps it was excitement as I can't wait to see my baby after having her for 39 weeks in my womb. Perhaps it was cold IV drip and my hand was hurting from the lousy poking skills. Perhaps it was the frequent beeping of the IV drip machines. Perhaps it was just me listening out to the monitor, listening out for baby's heartbeat as I've heard once water bag breaks, there's a risk of infection to the baby. Gynae came by again in the afternoon. He told the hubs that if I still do not dilate enough, he will make the call for a c-sect as water bag already broke.
The clock ticked by and the waiting game continues... House doctors came by and checked on the dilation every now and then. It was finally at slightly past 7pm when one of the house doctor finally made the call and said, "can start pushing already lah".
Part of me felt delighted and relieved upon hearing that. Finally the waiting is over and the real labour starts, and also because I do not need to get cut open. Another part of me felt really excited because I can finally get to see, hold, touch and kiss my little girl.
So the pushing began close to 8pm and gynae was called back to the hospital. The hubs said with every push, he could see a little of her head. I asked hubs and midwives if baby got hair, haha... And they told me yes. Honestly, the pushing is really exhausting. I don't know if it is because of being awake for 17 hours after a 1.5 hours "nap", or the actual pushing is tiring me out. I actually asked one of the midwives when I can consider assisted delivery using forceps or vacuum because I was really damn shag already.
Gynae arrived, took over from one of the midwives and stood on my side. I don't recall this part, but hubs said gynae got his ok that he is going to make a 2 inch cut. All I could remember was that gynae told me to take a deep breath in and puff out hard through my mouth (I guess that was when he made the cut) and I could feel my little girl coming out of me. Stacey has arrived at 9pm sharp.
I immediately asked the midwife to pass me my little girl so I can carry her. I was so excited n anxious! Midwife agreed and said to give her a minute so she can clean the baby a little. The next minute seemed like eternity... The feeling when I finally held her in my arms was indescribable. I kept kissing her while my tears were dropping non stop and told her that mama loves her, all this while my gynae was stitching me up. Then, Stacey was tagged and taken from my arms for weighing and vital signs checks. Hubs was following the midwife around the room while this happened.
Thereafter, Stacey was brought to the nursery at about 10-ish for bath while I was to remain in the delivery suite first. Midwife asked if I needed painkillers but epidural hasn't worn off yet, so I rejected her offer. If I had known what is gonna happen next, I would not have rejected.
Minutes ticked by like eternity. Finally at 11pm, the house doctor came by but refused to release me to my room apparently because my blood pressure is still too high. The house doctor told my hubs that she will come by 1 hour later. We did a quick mental guesstimation, I should be able to tahan and get to my room for epicool, milo and painkillers.
12.15am and the house doctor still hasn't came by. I'm exhausted, missing my daughter and want to have proper sleep. 12.30am, stilll not yet... I was starting to lose my patience and my cool. Hubs checked with the staff nurse on duty. It was not a case of my room not being ready and the house doctor has been alerted.
1am, at 1-freaking-am, the house doctor finally decided to show up. And by now, my hand with the drip was freaking numb and has swollen to double its size till I thought I saw someone else's hand. Still refused to release me to my room because my blood pressure is still high. But of course, because my blood is boiling and the pain is starting to kick in! We then requested to remove the drip since they are no longer administering anything through it, the house doctor refused saying that it is necessary in case they need the drip again.
Once the house doctor left, I couldn't take it anymore. I told hubs screaming, "of course my blood pressure still high! I'm in pain, haven't slept and ate for 21 hours, exhausted, missing my girl, angry say want to come in 1 hour tu till 2 hours, of course high lah". Hubs pressed the call button and staff nurse came in rather quickly. I immediately broke down, complained about the wait, said that we were not given enough information to make an informed decision because I'm in pain now, told her I want to be with my daughter, if I'm in my room now I would have epicool and won't be suffering now because I can rest, and reasoned why my blood pressure is still high. I don't know if she was taken aback and what exactly happened next was a blur because I was so damn freaking pissed and exhausted. All I recalled, she did a double take on my blood pressure, got help and said to trolley me to my room, make a note to get ward to monitor my blood pressure and took off the damn drip from my swolllen hand.
I finally calmed down when i was being wheeled to my room at 2-blardi am, 5 freaking hours after I delivered Stacey. Once I reached my room, I was given milo. Nurse also help fixed the urine catheter to help drain my bladder, cleaned me up down-there, gave me the wonderful epicool and arranged for painkillers. Tealady also came by to give water and cups. When all these ended close to 3am, I thought I can finally manage to catch some sleep. But no, Stacey was wheeled into my room a few minutes later at 3am and more crazy shit continues...

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Difference A Few Weeks Make

25 weeks now and I really Thank God for blessing a smooth pregnancy thus far.
Although in the last few weeks I'm starting to feel what most preggers are complaining about. Although the tummy's growing and growing and I can no longer squeeze into small spaces. Although my back aches sometimes. Although my calves sometimes cramp up when I stretch my legs in the middle of the night. Although I keep waking up in the middle of the night to either pee or because my dream ends. Although most nights I have busy dreams of me walking around, running around, looking for something, etc, and I don't feel properly rested, waking up feeling as though I ran a marathon. Although I  never had a good straight 8 hours of sleep without waking up in the last few weeks. Although I can no longer walk at the speed I used to. Although I become breathless easily, like when I walk and talk at the same time. Although my abdomen feels like exploding when I take a deep breath sometimes. Although it is getting increasingly difficult to lather soap on my ankles when I'm bathing or reaching to wipe my bum bum after "baking cake". Although climbing stairs is getting more of an ordeal...
Despite all these, I really feel blessed. These are small little hiccups compared to other bigger matters that could endanger both mother and child that I've read online. So, I really Thank God.
Maybe the tummy's bigger and I'm on the receiving end of more gracious acts.
While on the way home from Jurong East on the MRT one evening, a young gentleman (that doesn't mean that I'm old) who was with his friend, stood up, walked across half a carriage and asked if I wanted to sit down. I thanked him but refused because it was only 1 stop. Such a sweet guy.
There's was once in the morning on the way to work when I boarded a bus with only standing space left. As a nice person as always, I moved in as much as I can till I stood at the exit. A gentleman, standing too on my left, spotted me and asked if I needed a seat. Knowing there will be people alighting in about 3 stops, I said its ok. But regardless of my answer, he tapped the fella sitting in the priority seat in front of me who was with his girlfriend. This fella looked up and give a huh face. I would too if I were him. hahahhaha... Anyways, this gentleman then pointed at me. That fella then looked at me and realised, and stood up to give up his seat. I thank both of them and took my seat. 2 stops later, the seat in front of me was vacated, so I moved and let this fella reunite with his girlfriend. It was one of the days where the day started off with good deeds and on a good note.

Time really flies and in about 4 months' time, I will get to hold my little one for my very first time. In the past, I often hear about the mother and child bond, and I'm feeling it myself.
Every night I would place my hands on my tummy to feel baby's movements a little. Quite often, baby would be very active when I'm about to sleep. I would then tell baby to stop playing and continue tomorrow and let's call it a night. Almost immediately, the movements will slow down a little and/or be smaller.
Then there was this one night. After I said good night to baby, I felt a squirm crawling towards my right hand and then I felt a bump on my right palm. Thereafter, movements were very slow and small. I don't know if it was coincidental but it felt amazing and magical. It was as though baby was saying good night to me!

And in other news, Singapore mens and womens teams both won bronze at this years SEA Games. The hubs accompanied me down to the Kallang Diamonds to catch the mens game between Malaysia and Singapore. I haven't been down to that area for more than a decade and it looks so different now! Feeling a little nostalgia about the times and days back then...

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Halfway There...

In my 21st week now, like all preggers, the tummy's growing bigger and bigger. Sometimes when I have too full a meal, my abdomen feels like it is going to explode. Even sometimes in the mornings when I stretch myself awake, it would feel as though I'm trying to crack open my skin.

It's awesome and sometimes irritating when I feel baby's movements. Sometimes, baby will move a little or I would feel as though baby's doing a little somersault. On other occasions, I would feel as though baby is practising kungfu, and it would hurt a little. Just yesterday, baby decided to keep punching/kicking near my bladder. I peed thrice within an hour and 15 mins.
And just some moments ago, baby decided to help me with my bowel movements. Wasn't having any urge to shit till baby kept punching/kicking some lower part near the exit point.

Although the tummy's bigger, people do give me weird stares and wonder if I'm really pregnant or just fat. They look up and down a few times, or stare at my tummy.

While walking around in crowded areas, I tend to give preggers a little more space when passing them or not cut into their path when I wasn't pregnant. But I realised what goes around doesn't come around sometimes. Now that I'm the pregger, people cheong me, literally cheong me. Oncoming traffic would expect me to budge although they are the ones not walking in a straight line and cutting into my "lane". Diagonal traffic would brush past me and I have to sudden brake to let them pass.

On the public transport, only on 4 occasions was I being offered a seat. When boarding and alighting, I have to fight my way through and no one gives way. Once on my way home, an uncle with a head full of grey hair offered his seat to me. Such a kind gesture but I had to turn him down. How to accept?! While we were persuading each other to sit, the younger ones around us were either oblivious to the surroundings or feigning ignorance to what's happening. 
Once on the MRT, I was with a friend going for dinner. When we entered, no one budge although we stood near the priority seat which was taken up by someone young, well and unpregnant. I was till my friend asked if I wanted to sit down before a gentleman in a non-priority seat stood up and offered his. Our journey was only 1 stop, so I nicely declined.
Yesterday morning, I slowly made my way to the back of the bus looking for a seat, but to no avail. A young lady, perhaps a few years younger than me, offer her seat to me. It was the middle seat in the last row of a single deck wheelchair-friendly bus with an "F1 driver" at the helm. Taking the same route for so long, I kinda can remember which are the "F1 drivers" and who's getting off where. Elevated with nothing in front of me, and there was someone getting up 2 stops away in a back-facing seat, I chose to decline n wait. True enough, I got the seat and less than 3 stops later, the driver slammed his brakes hard, some standing were thrown off balance while some seated front-facing were thrown forward
This morning, I again walked to the back of the bus to look for a seat but to no avail. An expat couple were seated in the middle and right corner seats in the last row of yet another single deck wheelchair friendly bus. they were talking among themselves and the male got up frm his right corner seat. I thought he was alighting n blur blur took his seat. It was till the next stop, thank God not a long distance away, that I realised he did not get off. I turned to the lady and said thank you. She asked if no one in front offered their seat n I replied no. She told me to not be shy and just ask for the seat next time

I'm just hoping people would be nice and gracious. It is not a so-called entitlement mentality that I'm hoping people would give way to me at this point of time. Try carrying a sack weighing a few kilos around your abdomen and you will know what I mean. 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

My 2014 & Into 2015

2014 was a very eventful roller coaster year filled with ups and downs, both at work and in my personal life.

At work, due to departures, I had a new section head and 2 new team leads. Separations aren't easy, and working chemistries and bonds have to be rebuilt.

In my personal life, I got married to the love of my life on our 10th anniversary. I couldn't have the wedding in my dream setting/location, so I had to settle for less and found Regent Hotel, who could bring the garden into the hotel ballroom. It was a crazy tiring day. It didn't help that the hubs was puking the whole night and the rented suit and shirt was stained with vomit... But all was good in the end thanks to my brilliant laundry skills *flips hair* and we still managed to get back the full deposit.

Then, I lost my granduncle... He may be my half granduncle and stays in Selangor, Malaysia, but distance (be it in blood relations or in actual kilometres) doesn't reduce the hurt of losing him. I vividly remember how doting and caring he was to everyone around him. There was once during the school holidays while I was still in primary school and we had a family trip in. I didn't have any appetite for dinner. So knowing that I shared the love of durians with him, he took out his basket of durians, sat down with me and told me that we are going to have durians for dinner. I don't like unripe durians and loved only ripe ones. For me, durians must be creamy and not crunchy. When we opened one which was unripe, he would say lovingly in Cantonese to leave it for him while taking another one out from the basket for me to open. So there we were, sitting on the floor, opening one durian shell after another.
And he could pass off as George Lam's, a Hong Kong singer, twin or long lost brother. I kid you not. He looks really like George Lam.
Now writing this, I can still hear his voice and remember his expressions in my head...

And then the retirement of Derek Jeter. Why oh why...

Moving into 2015, life seems a little rosier. Collected keys for our new flat and now we are awaiting to welcome a new addition into the family come September. 2 new chapters await...

In the meantime, I am having weird cravings in the span of just 1 week.
Just other night, I was craving for Blackball grass jelly really badly. I could even smell it and taste it.
And just a few minutes ago, I craved for Coke. I hardly drink carbonated drinks and even when I do, the preference is Pepsi or Root Beer. But I craved for blardi Coke... Perhaps the kid takes after Papa...

Oh yes, and Man United is no longer in mid-table this season following the sacking of Moyes and appointment of van Gaal. Yes, 2015 should continue to be just as rosy.

Monday, September 23, 2013

The "Mid-Table" Manchester United

I'm a super huge Man U fan and it pains me to see what is happening to the club now. With the departure of a title winning manager in Sir Alex Ferguson, and by bringing in a mid-table survivor in David Moyes, I have a bad feeling that the club will not do just as well as the previous years.

First sign of disaster, Moyes is not a proven title winning manager, and when he came to the club, he got rid of the existing title winning backroom staff and brought in his own.
Secondly, every club had a huge marquee signing. Arsenal, title-drought for a few seasons, even got Ozil. Man U only got a guy with afro hair called Fellaini, who keeps getting himself into offside positions. Between him and Forlan, I really don't know who's the bigger joke for Man U.
Thirdly, the way the players are moving and tactics wise, Man U is looking like Everton the last few seasons. Especially for the derby match playing now, horrendous. If this carries on, at the end of the season, if it is just purely based on table standings, Man U may not even qualify for Europa league.

It is a sad sad depressing situation... Sir Alex should stop letting Moyes have a free rein and run the show at Man U. At this point, I think Moyes deserves some hairdryer treatment...