Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Winn's Wedding

Still spinning: Life by Gabrielle

After sad, blue and pondering days, something happy came up... Winn's wedding on Sat. Although it was a long and tiring day, complete with waking up early, walking around, sleeping late, it was fruitful. Made me see so much within such a few days...

During the church ceremony, all was silent n solemn. To me, its such a serious thing. after all, you're taking your vows. But, taking vows is a scary thing that needs huge determination. the kinds determination that you are gonna spend your life foreva with tt person. Hearing them take, spoken in such seriousness, to me, someone who's still not so prepared for marriage, its damn freaking scary... but of cos, seeing them take the vows, i know they felt happy, and determined at the same time to make the marriage wonderful...

After everything at nite, back in the hotel room to pick up our stuff, i gave winn a hug. Felt so happy yet sad at the same time. its tt kinda mixed feelings. happy, of cos lah, no need to explain... sad, cos i'm like marrying off a sister! now i know how mums feel when their daughters get married.

Brides really do look their best on their wedding... my dear winn, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty!!! soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Life, oh life...

Been post the same question quite a few times today... "wht r u thinking abt" Said dunno, but actually lots till its all blury... now, let me try to put these tots bit by bit in words...

My frd's sis passed away ystday in the aftnn... sometimes we wonder/ ponder/ think, why is life so short. But did it ever occured to them at all that life is even shorter for some even more unfortunate ones out there.
She was just 19, wif an extremely bright future and life to look forward to. But God placed an obstacle for her to cross, a hurdle that seemed easy, but in fact it was not. She took 3 years, trying to cross this hurdle but she can't. During these 3 years, her family of 5 been thru hell n back. they had high hopes and God let her stayed for a while. But now, the Lord decided that its time for her to call home. 3 years of tug and war is over, 3 years of suffering is finally over. It might be painful to see her go, but the pain she went thru, the amt of morphine she had to take, only she will know. Lord, pls take care of her now that she's with You.

Live life to the fullest, my dear friends. no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Everytime there's this particular email that goes round reminding us "if you love someone, tell them, because if they are not around tmr, you can't tell them foreva". I never tot much of this email, never ever.
Cos to me, it does make sense, but too far fetched. but it took me 2 deaths... 2 REAL, PAINFUL deaths close to me in less thn a month to make me realise wht this paticular email is teaching us abt.

I feel so down... so so down now and i desparately need to adjust myself cos winn's wedding on sat... but i feel so lost now cos i just realised how fragile life is... mayb i should take a break, take a holiday, but tt's like running away...

If i were to stay on, i dun think i can take the pain. cos my dad's mum has been placed the similar obsticle, similar hurdle by God. whn will it be my turn? For me, chances of getting breat cancer are like double... y? my parents are cousins. their mums are sisters. a few of their cousins/ distance female relatives have gotten this hurdle too. My cousin is freaked out, so am i... wht to do? its in the genes... life is damn freaking fragile... i might be the next one... i so so not mentally prepared...

God help me...

Insecurity overwhelms me... Blame it on PMS or blame it on wht's going thru me now... I'm so damn feeling lost...

Life is fragile... live life to fullest... never have regrets... if u think u did something wrong, remb to say sorry, u might not even have the chance to do it the next moment... never think of "tmr lah", or "next time lah" cos there might nvr be...

Spinning: Life by Gabrielle

Monday, December 06, 2004

Adding for the sake of adding...

It seems foreva that I added an entry... so adding for the sake of adding...

passed my final theory... few more lessons and i can book for my pratical test already...

Someone whom i can kinda link to passed away... He's not my age, he's 53, with a cute daughter less than 5 years of age. he died whn he crashed into a stationery van/ truck/ heavy vehicle while on his bike. at work, those who know him and know my parents came forward and asked, "heard about YOUR uncle chew mat kiat?". of cos i heard about him, although i dun think i know him or seen him at all.. my parents talk abt him sometimes at home. since i dunno him, why do i feel a connection to him? cos he was my parents' ROM witness, my dad's close colleague, close frd...

Saw Bridget Jones 2 last wkend... Actually quite a bit of movies, but not much impact to write abt them... Y BJ2? part of me is like her, wishing n hoping a prince charming will love me and sweep me of my feet, searching for love and someone i can depend on... no matter wht misunderstandings, wht quarrels, wht cold wars, wht break-ups, in the end, i'm still with my tt prinnce charming because of one simple word... love...