Funny throat...

Still gog ga-ga over the shizh tsu...

Sad n sorry to say, i HATE my family. Short-term goal is to move out asap... fucked up family, fucked up sis (ask any of my frds who had "encounters" wif her b4), fucked up mum (or rather mouth. she should learn to shut up!). Nope, its not the teenage crisis thingy...

Confused, confusion, confuses. Root word: confuse... been thinking a lot n analysing the situation i'm in... yes or not, guilty or not... everything's a blurred line.

i find myself more n more familiar. the shoutings, the screamings, the tiredness, the energy being zapped away, the i-should-just-drop-dead attitude... no appetite, jus eating for show, forcing down the food into my mouth n forcing myself to swollow. not just ordinary food, durian n bird's nest too...

Whn you're craving for something so desprately, nothing matters, even whn it sucks. I haven gotten my dosage of latte in many many months. latte is espresso plus milk. Not norm kopi-o plus milk. good latte (my defination) = drank without any addition of sweetener or sugar, milky yet does not cover the coffee taste. McCafe latte is too milky but (sigh) better then nothing.

moreover its a treat by my kor aka listening ear aka adviser aka sun wu kong aka colleague cum friend... he overslept n was coming to work n asked if i wanted anything from JP. was telling him abt my craving for latte the day b4, n he sweetly bought my request, a cuppa from McCafe for me... plus... cheesecake!!! there was only once slice of it. so he bought that n a caramel cake, and asked me to choose one... i of cos take the cheesecake lah!!

through him, i got to know the "darker" secrets of wht's gog on in the plant. now, knowing all these things, i tend to be more careful abt wht i say.i'm known to be blunt, so in the past, whn i say certain things, pple just let it past, cos being in the dark, thy cant blame me. but in the long run, it'll be kinda irritating. so i'm really glad to know all the gog-ons, putting myself in check from time to time. aft all i'm known as xiao mei... everyone calls me that there... hehe...

mayb i cried too much ystday nite. throat's very very uncomfy... its like something pressing it, drinking is even a chore.

*I cant help it... every moment that i think about you... every day and every night without you, I cant survive... love... take away the lonely days gone by, making every day for you and i... giving me a chance to go on believeing...*