Drunk enough to be sober...

Been quite some time since i updated my diary. Decided to come in here to blabber a bit b4 the the england ns france match.

painted my nails just now... been a long time since i painted my nails... painting nails is such a thereputic thing... managed to calm down a little...

Friday nite, on the 11th, went to cheong again wif the mei chin pple. john's bday was on the 12th, and we got him really drunk. guess it'll be the same for me 2 wkends later, on my bady... we wnt mdm wong, music was great, some sort like chinajump n chinablack, retro, top 40's, r&b, hip hop kinda... really controlled my drinking. drunk enough to have enough courage to thnk thru certain things... drunk enough to be sober enuff to make sure i can think them thru. n i had to be sober enuff cos bday boy was sure to be drunk and another frd was gog thru a tough time wif a guy... that remains 5 pple to take care of us, if i really got drunk, so i cant afford to get drunk rite?

Head was throbbing madly but luckily i din puke. same kinda throbbing head on the may 16th whn i went to dbl o wif jing ge ge, wx and wx's frds, but no puke this time round. i had to stay up n stay sober and not puke. had to hide the sad fact of life from this group of frds whom i dun really c much...

Slept the whole nite thru on sat, missing the opening matches for euro... woke up only at 1pm on sunday. crazy me, sleep so much...went to bed again in the evening... so i can get enuff zzz to last me thru till i knock off work later. n i did something drastic... i let go...i really did... at last... been holding on for too long... at last i had the courage. nvr mind that i'll be depressed n risk gog back to the dark pit, i had to... i really had to...

whoever's gog to cheong wif me on my bday wkend, pls take care of me... i'll not control liao... i think i cant control aso, sure kena made drunk by these pple... guess i'll b dead drunk n would need help gog home. i think i will... let the drinks pour...