Thursday, December 09, 2004

Life, oh life...

Been post the same question quite a few times today... "wht r u thinking abt" Said dunno, but actually lots till its all blury... now, let me try to put these tots bit by bit in words...

My frd's sis passed away ystday in the aftnn... sometimes we wonder/ ponder/ think, why is life so short. But did it ever occured to them at all that life is even shorter for some even more unfortunate ones out there.
She was just 19, wif an extremely bright future and life to look forward to. But God placed an obstacle for her to cross, a hurdle that seemed easy, but in fact it was not. She took 3 years, trying to cross this hurdle but she can't. During these 3 years, her family of 5 been thru hell n back. they had high hopes and God let her stayed for a while. But now, the Lord decided that its time for her to call home. 3 years of tug and war is over, 3 years of suffering is finally over. It might be painful to see her go, but the pain she went thru, the amt of morphine she had to take, only she will know. Lord, pls take care of her now that she's with You.

Live life to the fullest, my dear friends. no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Everytime there's this particular email that goes round reminding us "if you love someone, tell them, because if they are not around tmr, you can't tell them foreva". I never tot much of this email, never ever.
Cos to me, it does make sense, but too far fetched. but it took me 2 deaths... 2 REAL, PAINFUL deaths close to me in less thn a month to make me realise wht this paticular email is teaching us abt.

I feel so down... so so down now and i desparately need to adjust myself cos winn's wedding on sat... but i feel so lost now cos i just realised how fragile life is... mayb i should take a break, take a holiday, but tt's like running away...

If i were to stay on, i dun think i can take the pain. cos my dad's mum has been placed the similar obsticle, similar hurdle by God. whn will it be my turn? For me, chances of getting breat cancer are like double... y? my parents are cousins. their mums are sisters. a few of their cousins/ distance female relatives have gotten this hurdle too. My cousin is freaked out, so am i... wht to do? its in the genes... life is damn freaking fragile... i might be the next one... i so so not mentally prepared...

God help me...

Insecurity overwhelms me... Blame it on PMS or blame it on wht's going thru me now... I'm so damn feeling lost...

Life is fragile... live life to fullest... never have regrets... if u think u did something wrong, remb to say sorry, u might not even have the chance to do it the next moment... never think of "tmr lah", or "next time lah" cos there might nvr be...

Spinning: Life by Gabrielle

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