stupid dumb experiment i did on myself... wanted to c wht r those weird feelings abt... so i tried as hard as i could, not to clam myself up n open my heart a little...
experiment findings: guilty feeling towards another (A) becos of someone else (B)... Want A to kinda give up becos of B... But at the same time, dare not open up to B becos of C... I'm such a loser, afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of a lot of things... tt's y after such a short while, i decided to end the experiment...
i dunno if its due to the stubborn traits of cancerians, no means no... close means close, no opening up... but thinking through, if i dun open up, C will always be thr, and it'll be fucking unfair for B... y am i such a bitch? mayb wht ken said might be bullseye... mayb i'm really starting to feel something, but its the baggage i'm still holding on to and i dun realise it... which i think might be true cos during the experiment, i think i did feel something...
this is so freaking irritating n confusing... mayb its just time to get outta comfort zone n wake up...
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