Saturday, August 02, 2008

Sometimes I Feel I'm Unappreciated

In a certain way, I feel that no one listens to me seriously nor take me seriously. Even when facts are presented, whatever I say or do seems to be just a breeze that just went by, tickling just a single leaf on a tree while the others dun even shift a millimetre.

Is it because I'm small sized and look like a little girl. Ok, so blame it on my parents who gave me a baby face meh? Look at the fucking fine lines and wrinkles beneath my eye lah!
Is it because I have a sreechy high pitch voice? I'm not a guy, so my voice does not break upon puberty.
Is it because people who work with me do not know me well enough to see that I'm less serious and picky when it comes to work? Is it because I "worry" too much? I do admit I'm picky and go right into the nitty gritty finest details. I also like love to envision the worst case scenario. But why do I do so? Has anyone fucking understand why I have to play the devil every single fucking time?!
I'm not insisting that I want to have my way. I do so because we must think further and be prepared for things that would crop up. It is true that not all of us have the ability to foresee if a plan would have any hiccups or will move on smoothly, but is it wrong to anticipate than to let the matter catch us off guard?

Be it any matter that crops up, school, work, friends, etc, every serious comment I make is always for the better good. But has anyone fucking listened?! Which is why sometimes I feel damn useless too. Maybe I should not expect too much. I'm just a nobody in everyone's eyes. I'm just that small-sized gal who is part of their social circle, hidden at one end, away from everyone.

No comments: