Friday, October 03, 2003

Depression.... Depression...

Its true... I think i'm in a bout of depression thingy. I really dunno why... It's been a month already, a fucking long month, the longest period I ever had.

I keep telling myself I'm ok, I'm fine, I'm happy but somehow the hormones got my brain. Here I am feeling miserable not knowing the fucking reason why. Here I'm crying for no fucking reason. For one whole fucking month! Argh! WTF!

I can't tok to anyone not even myself. I even lost my own pillar of strenght inside me. y? Mayb I've been stayin at home doin my own stuff? I don't even have the fucking paitience n mood to play neopets, searching for items at a low price n selling them at a higher price. Hope the China trip will cheer me up... Hope... Toked to cresp, our trivia's pharmacist who has very good medical knowledge, he said "in depression no motivation to do anything". I think i'm really in depression.

For the past 36 hours, I've only ingested one plate of sushi (conveyer belt size), a chawanmushi and a cup of Horlicks. My mum cooked dinner just now, all i ate was an equavilent of 1/8 of a potato n 1/4 of a leaf of cabbage. For desserts 2 tablespoons of ice cream n half a bowl of bird's nest. And to think bird's nest is my fave, I only managed half a bowl. My stomach's calling for help, but I dun feel like eating. Hope I dun get any eating disorder.

Channel 8's showing a new serial now wif Zoe Tay suffering from post-natal depression. Damn it! I really behave like her. Whn i c her, i c a mirror image of myself... The screamings the cryings... I really dunno wht to do or wht to think abt ystday, so i went to zzz and left my nick in irc as pacedsob. Whn i woke 5+ hours later, some of the closer pple in trivia pm me, showing their concern... Thanks guys, you're all the best irc frds i have...

No comments: