Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I should be happy. My life's getting back to normal, got a temp job at quite a good rate which will fill my time till i start classes, found another 2nd-hand shop that sells LV bags at good conditions, blah blah...

But i feel lost and empty... esp my finger... i've lost the ring Dear gave me for my bday last year. I dunno how in the fuck i manage to lose it. i dun wear it to bath or whenever i step into the bathroom to shit, nor while washing anything with soap or detergent, nor while baking or cooking, nor do i wear it while putting on makeup. the rest of the time, its either snug nicely on my finger or tied tightly to the cloth strap of my hp.

it was there this morning when i woke up.
it was there this morning on the mrt on my way to a job interview. i put on my hand moisturiser and forgot to put it on cos i couldn't get a seat and i was holding onto a file and it was kinda troublesome untying the little fella.
i arrived at city hall mrt and Dear called. Did i dropped it then? i din notice. but i only remembered switching my hp to silent mode.
i passed the gantry, walked to suntec thru citilink, went into wrong lifts thrice, went up tower 5's escalator and lift (the lift lobby's on 2nd floor), went into the company premises for the interview, all this while my hp in my bag, zipped.
After the interview, i exited the lift and took the escalator down and took out my hp to call my agent. was on the phone with her while i walked on the outside of the mall from tower 5 to tower 2's taxi stand. Did i dropped it then? i din notice.
called Dear while at taxi stand, but he din picked up. Did i dropped it then? i din notice.
Held onto the phone and made my way to nokia care centre at tower 1 2nd floor to check if my phone had compatible stereo earphones. Dear called back and spoke to him for a while. Did i dropped it then? i din notice. I placed the phone back into my bag.
went back to 1st floor to check out this fashion's sale. held on to file and 2 shorts while another agency's client called to conduct a phone interview. Did i dropped it then? i din notice. phone was back into my bag.
paid for my items and walked out to the taxi stand to take a cab down to clifford centre to look for my agent. throughout the taxi ride and up to the agency, the phone's still in my bag.
Filled up an application form and passed it back to my agent. while waiting for her, Dear called. after putting down the phone with him, i discovered my ring's gone. i frantically checked my bag, checked my surroundings, looked at the floor, no ring...
i must have dropped it when i didn't pay attention to it. now, it threw a tantrum and ran away from me...

i told dear later after lunch. he tried to comfort me saying luckily not diamond ring. but to me diamond or fake crystal, platinum or silver, its still a ring from him.
i suggested gog back to suntec and find, he said i dunno whr excately i lost it, so its hard looking plus it doesn't cost much. but to me 1 cent ring or 1 million dollars ring, its still a ring from him.
he say next time we'll buy a few identical rings so if i lost one, i still had another one. but i find no comfort in that.

i dun wear much accessories, so i kinda needed to get used to it at first. but i soon developed a habit of looking at the ring on my finger, fiddling it, stroking it, twirling it round my finger while watching tv, at the keyboard, doing my cross-stitch and even in bed while getting to sleep. now, i feel so uncomfortable without it, so empty...

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