Terrible dream with a Fann Wong look alike...

I just woke up... i think its the first time i'm blogging right after i wake up... i had a terrible dream... i awoke crying...

the setting was like in a class or something similar... a group of us were gathered ard, sitting ard talking. someone suggesting gog to a club tonight for the launch of a new perfume. another gal asked wht perfume. i note a magazine on the table which i had read b4 n remembered the launch party details were inside.

the magazine belonged to this gal, who really looked like fann wong... i dunno y a fann wong look alike appeared in my dream, dun ask y... so i asked "fann wong" if i could flip thru the magazine to show the rest the launch party details. as mean as she could get, she said no cos i had uneven skin tones all over my fave n neck, had pigment probs n dark eye rings and even start jabbing her finger all ard me to "show" me where the uneveness was. i felt ostracised... i fought back, saying her make up was thick n white as a ghost, i had reasons for uneven skin tone n started destroying her make up.

everyone ard saw me doing that n blamed me for wanting to start a catfight. i started crying n explained myself that every gal is vain, who doesn't want to be pretty. n a bitch has to criticise so meanly on my uneven skin tone. i clearly remb saying this words in chinese. "you all look at these black n white patches. u think i want meh? u think i wanan look ugly meh? i have no choice! i had stage 2 nose cancer n needed radiotherapy! tt's wht caused the uneveness. n now i have to go for chemo, tt's wht causes the pigementation probs" i was crying n wailing as i said those words. upon finishing, i woke up, n felt tears running down my face...

it was a nightmare, i still feel like crying now... i dunno y i still wana cry nor do i know y i had such a weird dream. they say dreams are part of our subconcious mind. mayb whn i walk ard everyday i dun seem to bother abt my patches. but in my subconcious, i really bother abt them n want to get rid of them. or maybe its due to pple looking at me in a weird way whenever i'm out. subconciously i think they are looking at me like tt because of my uneven skin tone.

i hate dreams like tt... after u wake up, makes u feel like u are dumped into the sea, struggling to keep alive... help...