???

yes... ??? is the state of my life now...

rewind 2 years back. I gotta know a wonderful guy, someone I am spending the rest of my life with. 6 months later, a fucking pain in the ass called "cancer" came along n stuck with me. Not only did it stuck, it sucked in 2 ways too. It really sucks and gave me all kinda side effects n pains, n it sucked away about 5 decades of my lifespan away, leaving me with only 2 blardi months left. It also sucked me dry financially of all my little savings n sucked away a new job posting in a working environment which i really liked, the knowledge i would get from this job and the good prospects of getting a very good n stable job with these knowledge... along came 2 oncologist n killed cancer away. now i pray hard to whizz through the next 5 years smoothly n then get back the remaining 5 decades of lifespan back.

loss of lifespan settled... but something else not yet...

those very close to me would know i cant really get along with my family members. After the war ystday nite, i complained to Dear that the 3 other pple at home dun wana solve the problem. thy only know how to run away from it by asking each other to "shut up coz it's late at nite n its embarrassing to let the neighbours hear n dun wana risk getting having the matahs knocking on the door". Dear said, to solve it, is to move out... which i totally agree since 8 years ago.
since the age of 17, i told myself, once i have the moolah, i would move out n rent a place of my own. this arrangement would avoid having arguments n clashes with them. Although i love them, i really cant live with them. with that job, i had some savings already... with a new job posting, everything looked rosy, esp the finance n moving out part. then "friendly" cancer had to come knocking on the door of health. no job, no finances, no savings...

is there some way to finish my degree in less thn 2 years or get a part time job that pays at least $20 an hour? if these part time jobs include drinking, smoking, sexual realtions, mlm, sales, recruiting pple, drugs, pirated stuff or anything that break the laws, keep me outta them.

ah, might as well, gimme the $600K Toto jackpot... i'm not greedy... a 5+1 aso can...