Nowhere

There but not there...
Here but not here...

I'm in the mood for blabbering again...

Sometimes, things happen when you least expect it. However, when you want it to happen, the chance/ fate/ opportunity/ timing just drifts away. When it does, it may or may not balances your life. So you try not to look back, face the road ahead, moving forwards, dumping the "whatever" behind bit by bit. But you need the "whatever", as a lesson or a reflecting moment, to learn from it. However, after learning from it, will you be able to leave it behind and move on?
Humans are weird creatures. When something is in front of you, you would take it for granted and not appreciate it. When it's gone, you will then start to wonder how come you have lost it and try to get it back. Sometimes, you are just in time to do that, sometimes, you're just too late.
What's love? To me, it means wanting to hug and embrace that fella every minute, every second and planting kisses all over his face. Even while talking on the phone, you would really want to reach into the phone and hold his hand if you could. That's me right now and it has got to a point where I would feel lost without him. I'm addicted to Dear. Appearance wise, he may not be that dream guy I envision since young, tall, good-looking, a bit of the bad-boy look (like David Beckham, Josh Hartnett, Luo Zhi Xiang) but he has the perfect character I want. There have been "ideal" guys, but the feelings I have for Dear is so deep, that's nowhere compared to those "ideal" guys.

I think I need a break, to stone, to get away, to whatever. The depressing feelings are sometimes a bit over-whelming and I blame it still on PMS although the "relative" has gone home. Hormones playing a fool again? I really don't know... 3 years ago, I was stuck in this deep dark hole for months and I don't want it to happen again!

I feel... stucked...