Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I'll Miss You

After battling with cancer for almost a decade and 2 relaspes, Aunt M called home to the Lord on Saturday nite. I did not know the excate time she passed away, but it was either Sat nite or Sun, very early in the morning. I dun recall hearing mum's phone message alert at all, so i guess the sms by Aunt M's husband came in while we were all asleep. Mum only saw the message when she woke up.

It was the cancer of a certain gland, which i can't recall. I once read it online and it was a very slow growing cancer, slowing eating up yr life away. Her doctor did not wana remove the tumour via surgery as it was close to a nerve, thus a considerable percentage risk of being paralysed in that certain area. she went thru chemo n recover. Then about 4 years later, she had a relaspe. went thru a 2nd round of chemo. With God's grace, the tumour was cleared and she gave a testimonial at church. now, which is about another 4 years later, she felt a lump at her back. It was during the period I was having my radiotherapy. She went to different oncologists and seeked opinions. Chemo was not a very good option as she had gone thru it twice and she's already in her mid-fifties. So radiation was recommended. She went for treatment for a week, however it wasn't much of a use.

About 2 months back, she had shingles. I do not know if it had sucked her totally of her immunity to fight the cancer longer. because after that, her health detoriated much quicker then i had expected. She complained that her whole body was in so much pain and her husband had to drive her to the hospital as waiting for an ambulance wasn't an option. she was given very strong morphine. I'm having low immunity as I'm still on oral drugs. Mum could not visit her at the hospital cos her husband and son, one by one, came down with chicken pox. Then the hospital recommended to transfer her to a hospice.

When she was transferred to the the hospice, my mum was away in M'sia. whn my mum came back, i heard from her that their mutual friends have visited her. when Aunt M said she could hear voices singing to her, Aunt G said that maybe the angels were singing. gradually, her health worsen. when Aunt I visited her about 2 weeks back, she could not swallow her medication and there were tubes all over her. then mum decided to visit her on this tuesday nite n told me to pile up on foods that would boost my immunity if i were to come along. however, we did not manage to make that visit afterall.

Heard that she fell into coma last week. She even asked her husband why her memory n movement detoriated. The cancer had spred to the vital organs, lungs, liver and kidney. She could not even pass urine. To many, it came too sudden as those who knew about her worsening condition had initially planned to visit her on sunday or like mum n i, during these few days.

I know as her as a lady of strength. She never gave up trying for a child. When she got pregnant, she had to stay in bed for almost the entire 9 months while carrying her son. she had hopes for the entire family to move to australia for a better life. she fought this battle long n hard. while i was having my treatment, she would encourage me. she said i'm still young, i still have a long road in front of me n never to give up, esp for my parents' sake. she also said it was God's test for me n to put my life in His hands n trust Him to lead me to a victory. She encouraged me to read the Bible again and seek out God's love n grace. She kept me in her prayers n attended miracle healings sessions at her church on my behalf as I was too tired n weak to go.

She's also an experienced baker. While having chemo, during my free time, when i feel ok enough, i would bake. she would taste n give comments n taught me how to improve on it. we also shared recipies on a few occasions.

I will always remember her loving motherly smile and touch that she always has. I will always remember the words of encouragement she gave me. I will always remember the glass of warm milk she gave me for breakfast at her old jurong apartment when i was still young. i will always remember her fetching me to n fro from speech n drama classes in her old blue alfa, nanny-ing me as my mum wasn't free. I'll Miss You Aunt M... I will...

Heavenly Father, now that she has called home to you, pls take care of Aunt M like how she used to take care of me. Pls bless her husband n son and shower them with all your love and grace. Pls let her know I'll miss her deeply and remember her for life. In Jesus Holy Name i pray, Amen...

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