Thursday, January 26, 2006

I Love God!

It's a long day. Went to sun moulin bakery at isetan scotts to get my sis n me, our fave cheese mochi. then got an sms from chee, gotta know a frd's mum had passed on n arranged to go to the wake with her later in the evening. walked over to tangs to help my mum get a handbag she saw. walked over to dr hwang's clinic to pass them some new year cookies.

its dear's last day today and he can go off by lunch time cos he only needed to give some product training. but some stuff cropped up about salary matters and he can't leave tt early. anyway i was still early and needed to get a top to change to wear to the wake cos i was wearing pink. so from mt. elizabeth, i walked over to (guess where else...) taka's mango to look for a top. of 3 not so colourful and bright tops i chosen, the cutting of 2 were slightly big although i took the smallest size, so i was only left with 1 choice. i wanted to buy a few (anyway, wake or not, i would buy a few if they could fit) so dear could help me see which one was more suitable. i also targetted a few more to buy during the sales period cos the pricing for those pieces were quite high and i find the designs ok, can buy type, not wah, very nice type... i also saw a pair of knee length pants, which i prefer to call bermudas cos they look like one, which was, in wht i called in my own lingo, 2 way wearing. i can pair it with a baggy t-shirt and slippers and wear them to market. i can also pair it with a nice smart casual top and a pair of heels and walk around in town, looking in vogue. so i bought 1 top n 1 bottom in the end.
i then walked over to wisma atria isetan's mango to look for other designs i can choose from. i once said in here that not all designs are found in all outlets. some designs can only be found in certain outlets. tried a racer back top, but the arm hole was a tad too big, so it looked a bit baggy... then dear called to say he's leaving and will mit me and his frd at cineleisure burger king. so while walking in the air-con from wisma atria to taka, i decided to pass by m)phosis. tried a black top but it was too longish for my liking, din buy in the end, so i continued my walk over to cineleisure.

had a chicken whopper jr for lunch and showed dear the top. he said it's quite ok, but a bit "happening". i kinda understood wht he meant cos the top had pictures on it. we proceeded to level 9 for dota, i'm starting to learn how to play already, but still need loads more training sessions. initial plan was for me to play for 1 hour then go home to change, put the down stuff, rest for a while then go down for the wake. but after playing for the hour, i got lazy n decided to stay n watch n learn the game. while watching dear play, i got to know more characters and their "special powers". i changed and at abt 6.15 we left and i took a cab down to mit chee at the wake.

this frd of ours, her mum passed away due to something which i really dislike now. its cancer, colon cancer. 2 immediate family members of my frds had passed on due to cancer, a few more other frds have immediate family members who have fought the battle and in remission. a few of my mum's friends also have fought the battle and now in remission, one more frd is still fighting. both my grandma's had their breasts removed. the person closest to myself, which is me myself, is also fighting the battle. y issit another cancer case?! haven't i heard enough?! so many institutes and organisations over the world are doing cancer research, haven't they researched enough to find a total cure?! this frd's mum was in remission but the cancer came back! having cancer is just like having a damn fucking irritating time-bomb in the body! fucking hell, u just dont know when it'll come back to haunt you.

but still, i take it in stride. As a Christian, i must believe in God's plans for me and have faith in him. as i was telling my frd, God has already made plans for us. if he wants me to call home earlier to him, i will. if he wants me to stay here longer, i will. but He will not show us the entire plan, just like how our insurance agents show us the entire insurance saving plan in details at one full glance how much we would have at certain ages. so, i gotta take it in stride and live strongly day by day, and like wht aunt elizabeth says after she removed her breast, she thanks God everyday when she wakes up for granting her another day.
but there's something i realise i need to learn, tt's to really believe whtever God does, its for the best for me. Just like now, I'm starting to believe wht PJ said, God's giving me this hurdle to bring me back to him cos i backslided way too much and am wandering around like a lost sheep. Today's memorial service and wht the pastor said about knowing God as our Saviour only echos wht PJ says. Honestly, it was only thru this ordeal, i started reading the bible again and slip into His arms like a lost child looking for comfort, love, support and forgiveness for being wilful and running away. n i know He had never ever given up on this lost sheep cos during these 9 months of ups and downs, i can see Him healing and guiding me to full recovery n listening to my prayers for giving me more time here. Most of all, i can feel His warm loving embraces and sayang-ing me. I have never felt so dependent on Him for such a longest time already.

anyway, back to the long day issue... after attending the wake, i went down to esplanade to mit dear for supper at glutton's square. but today no mood to talk about food... only in the mood to reflect n embrace in God's love... :-)

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