My i/c................

i've never sent mass mails for a long long time... sent out one today.. here is wht i sent...

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Dear all,

some perverted despo sicko took a old broken down bag belonging to jasmine shi
(in case u're wondering which jasmine.... mcss/ ngee ann fsv/ ngee ann softball/ taka cashier... if still dunno, pls email back n ask...). FAKE louis vuitton wallet (with ONLY $20 in it), keys, handphone, an old t-shirt with a bra (yes, a bra) and tampons (yes, u're reading right) were in it... sicko rite?! bra n tampons aso wana bring home...take the money n handphone n leave the blardi sim card n ic there lah! anyway, the above mentioned person, unfortunately, is waitin to get her money, thus = to no money to get replacements for anything at all.

by any chance, if you guys find an i/c with my name n tt fella look like me, pls call my house immediately. aso, if you find a library book titled "the art of hitting .300" lying around, its most prob mine. pls go to the nearest library n return it for me... thanks a mil...

should anyone has anything urgent to contact me, pls send an email to this address... if not, give a ring to my house, but i doubt i'll be home. since, i'm without my phone, pls dun waste your sms too... heh... once i have the precious vitamin M to get my replacement sim card, i'll send another email round to get your numbers again...

if u're free, pls just reply with your numbers. once i get back my phone, i'll just send an sms round to tell you all tt i can be contacted again... n i need ALL your numbers (including those whom i've know for eons...) cos since the "handphone-era" i nvr ever did used my brains to memorise tel numbers.

thank you all dearest for your kind attention...

jAS

p/s: my heart is not made of gold for the time being... if tt idiot dun send me back my i/c and sim card, hope he/she dies of some terminal illness... suffer like hell till he/she shuts his/her eyes... either tt, or mayb kena knock down by a car, whack by some retard or whtever tt would happen to haul him/her to the police post. n hopefully, the police will "discover" some lost items on him, like my i/c...

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honestly, bra n tampons.. oh man... damn sick... hygiene or not, luckily wasn't much a heavy flow, i had one "heavy flow tampon" in me, the whole day...

such a day, happening once in 4 years, happening to me...

Baby was the 60++ person left in the samsung olympic torchbearer challenge held at civic plaza since ystday. out of 219, not too bad.. hehe... quite an experience i must say...

i WANT my i/c back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd day of work at ExxonMobil JLT...

2nd day of work. not too bad. free one moment, busy the next. so far i'm just helping my colleagues prepare n consolidate documents like Purchase Orders Invoicing, Cert of Manufacturing (for local pdts), Cert of Origin and compiling the attachments (to be send together to submit to SICC). learning new stuff everyday but pay, haiz, a bit sucky, $6 an hour. but whr can i find a job that lets me learn so much, "bo ceng hu", letting you stretch 1 hour for lunch (by right, only 30 mins) and no one really rushes you to get back to work. i guess cos thy really treat u like adults, and trust you to have your own initiative.

Being in an environment where some colleagues know your parents can be good and bad. good: if thy have no other things to tok to you, thy tok abt your parents. bad: a bit stressful ah...

sleepy... been waking up at 5.45am. dad fetched me ystday. took the bus at jurong east mrt today. as the bus leaves at 7.34, i gotta be there slightly earlier. n to reach there in time, i gotta catch the 7pm bus at my place to clementi mrt n from there, to jurong east mrt. total trip is abt 20-25 mins. but it makes no sense for me to take the next bus at my place, which is 15 mins later cos i'll be late for the other bus.

k, i'm talking in a big round bush. not thinking clear too. cant think in a straight line... plus, i need to shit. after shit, wash up, no dinner, cos i need to sleep soon... dun wana zzz on a full stomach... gunbound? hmm... mayb tmr, too sleepy n tired...

Now Showing... 1st Cuts: Sweet Dream and Turtle Soup

i remembered sometime back i dissed a whole load abt sg's film industry. but i watched the first installment of 1st cuts just now, n it threw me back a little. 1st cuts is a series of 4 unrelated stories, shot in HD (high-def) in a kinda tele-movie style.

first, ms shi will tok on the HD thingy... its digital more thn digital if u get wht i mean. colours r slightly sharper, so r the pictures. n i watched it on a 14-inch tv w/ a (oopsy) portable antena which resulted in a bit of "double vision". still, the pics looks soooooo good. but to compare with film, film is of cos better. HD n digital dun give tt kinda "grainy" thingy.

now, i'll tok on the telemovie. script was good!!! in my sense sorta way. its abt a mother n daughter, discovering themselves n each other whn things happen. well, wht could be worse whn u're fatherless, yr granny's in hospital, u're preparing for your O's, yr best friend dun understand u, n u have to help out everyday at the stall, leaving no time to study, much less even for sleeping...

whn thy started to display a certain festival happening in sg's chinese community n the timeline (eg; 5 months to o levels), i tot it was to let viewers understand how much time was left for this gal to study. but its only till she asked her mum y she wans to celebrate all kinda festival, thn i really understood the meaning behind it. before her dad passed away, he would write all the festivals n the calender. n y the mum wanted to celebrate was i guess in remembrence of the dad...

it's a telemovie n i shouldn't cry, in a more common sense of way. but i did. whn both mum n daughter finally understood each other, it was shot/told in such a subtle way. it was touching n tugging at my heart...

eh, but i got something to comment on the lighting leh... maybe its the HD thingy, the "white" looks glaring, thus making those scenes which needed lights turned a bit fake, although the shadows aren't harsh. there was this shot whr the mum was at the stall, n the market behind her was closed. coudn't c much details in the backgrd, thus making the foreground (whr the mum was) a bit kinda "slapped" onto a black screen, mayb it was the contrast between black n white which was too much for me to take.

whn the credits rolled, i saw a familiar few names, like heard n seen their names somewhr out there before... but there was one, i was definate i knew him, m senthil... he was the grip for this telemovie n my coursemate! woohoo!

but overall the movie was good.... really good... if possible, (i might be thinking sfc, mda n raintree pix might read this...) send it for some film fest, digital section... might get back something...

cant wait for the 2nd one next week... btw, its on mediacorp channel 5, 11pm, right after survivor!

n, i missed luo shen's ending last 2 epis again.... damn it! for the 2nd time already! grr... mayb i should just borrow the tape back...

House of Sand and Fog

i'm supposed to be sleeping right now, waking up later at 5am for the england vs portugal friendly. I tossed n turned for over an hour n i simply give up trying to zzz... hope i'll be able to tahan till 7, tt's whn the match ends...

caught House of Sand and Fog just now... definately betta thn mystic river, except, the censored part... i hate censored movies!!! well, its adapted from a novel n its abt everyone making mistakes n losing everything in the end.

story goes like this: kathy (Jennifer Connelly) was wrongly evicted. her husband left her 8 months ago n for the past 8 months she did not check her mails frequently (mistake 1). she was billed a few hundred bucks worth of business tax n she doesn't have a biz at all. but she did seek help to get the taxman off her back. n as she doesn't check her mails frequently, she din know the case wasn't quite done over wif. so, the county decided to evict her cos she did not pay the taxes. but the county did not know she did not owned a biz (mistake 2).

then she met lester (Ron Eldard) on the day of eviction. he's a sherieff, policeman kinda n they fell in love. kathy sought legal assistance to get back the house n learnt tt it was already sold to a retired colonel behrani (Ben Kingsley), an iranian immigrant. behrani wanted to sell the house for 174K, 4 times the price he bought the house for.

when lester knew abt it, he threatened (mistake 3) colonel behrani, to sell the house back to the county, so the legal pple can sue the county n get the house back for kathy. however, behrani went to the internal affairs for help n identified lester.

meanwhile, lester n kathy stayed in a friend's log cabin kinda place. he told kathy tt he needed to go away for a few hours to explain matters wif his wife. (he had stopped loving her many years ago.) while at his home, explaining matters, the internal affairs guy called lester to the office. so lester had no choice but to go n did not tell kathy abt it (mistake 4).

kathy waited for a very long time n tot tt lester was gone for good, back to his wife's arms. so she went to a kiosk, bought drinks, ciggys, n petroleum as she wanted to kill herself. after she topped up the plastic container wif petroleum she opened the boot n found a pistol. she left the petroleum at the kiosk.

she drove back to he old house, drank n tried to shoot herself but the pistol was not loaded. behrani heard her crying outside n saw wht was happening. he carried her into the house n together wif his wife, thy took care of her. meanwhile, lester got back to the lag cabin place n found kathy missing. his next instinct was to go to the house to look for her.

while lester was driving up to the house, kathy went to the bathroom to vomit due to the drinks. behrani's wife, nadi (Shohreh Aghdashloo) told kathy to take a bath to relax. in there, kathy found nadi's pills (mistake 5, nadi, knowing she is disturbed should have taken out the pills). she swallowed 20 tabs. nadi went on the check on her n found her unconcious. she forced kathy to empty her stomach. wif help from her husband, thy were trying to help kathy to the room while lester arrived. he loaded the gun n saw kathy very weak. he tot the family was trying to harm her.

he locked the family in the toilet while kathy rested in the room. the next morning, he made a deal wif behrani which would c them getting a sum of money while behrani gets to keep the house. thy drove to the county to sign papers. as he turned behrani against a wall (mistake 6), he remind him of wht he should do, behrani's son, Esmail (Jonathan Ahdout) took lester's gun for self defence (mistake 7). police arrived n shot esmail as he refused to drop the gun.

esmail died n behrani killed his wife n himself. meanwhile, lester was locked up for threats (i guess) n kathy was all alone again.

for the mistakes behrani made, he lost his life, his wife n his son n the 174K. issit a mistake for behrani wanting a good life for his family?

lester, in bid to help kathy, lost his freedom. kathy, in the quest to get back the house her dad left her, lost her bf n i guess, a bit of her "liang zhi", almost her life n her senses. issit a mistake for kathy, for being so insistent tt she wants to get back a house which her dad paid for 30 years?

this novel tells us something: in order to get something u want, u may directly or indirectly do hurt to another. n at the end of it, issit worth all that trouble?

Romantic pizza night...

Date: 16th Feb 2004, Monday...

Time: 12.46pm

Venue: library @ orchard

i was sms-ing the gals, suggesting jap buffet for dinner tonite to celebrate winn's bday. when i was sms-ing, this sudden urge of emotions, feelings swarmed upon me. It's been a good 9 years we've known each other and coming to a decade now. yet, we still keep in contact n meet up once in a while. it's tt kinda very warm, sappy kinda feeling. i can imagine us in our 30's, 40's, smsing or calling each other out for a gals-nite dinner or even a sunday outing wif our kids in tow. at this moment, i tried hard to fight back my tears. at the same time, i feel so happy and fortunate to have known them. cheers n kudos to our everlasting friendship! love ya gals! *hugzzZZ*

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Date: 16th Feb 2004, Monday...

Time: 9ish

Venue: cafe cartel, plaza singapura

i pictured myself as an outsider, looking at us 5... these gals r planning for a wedding. plannig wht to wear, whn to shop, how to go thru the clothes changes during the big day n a rough timeline for the next 9-10 months... all of the sudden, i felt "grown-up". mayb to me, getting married is a grown up thing. n helping out someone close to me is a feeling tt i cant put words to.

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Date: 18th Feb 2004, Wednesday...

Time: 2.27am

Venue: home

had to type out the above first b4 i continue wif today's entry... hence the time diff...

went for an interview just now. advertising admin asst. not my excate dream job, but close enuff. hope it can help me pave a way into advertising. will only know the results 2 weeks later... aft tt i went home. got a call later saying thr was a temp position for me, starting next wed, doing data entry. so now my plan is to work there first, n c the result 2 weeks later. unsuccessful, resumes sending time again. successful, 3 days notice n off i go...

how i celebrate my v's day? to many others v's day is a day whr candlelight dinner n roses r a must. for me? as long as i get to spend the day wif my Baby, i call it "celebrating". he popped by n we ordered pizza, watched lost in translation (d/led... hehe...) n soccer together. for me, eating pizza n watching soccer together is kinda romatic, i was actually smiling to myself.. hehe... even though my parents were ard, but it felt as though we were alone, quiet n peaceful...

this year's mtv asia awards was held on v's day. n i guess the best present for A*mei was tt she won the most popular taiwan astist! so happy for her!

wow, long entry today, but i still got things to say. well, there's some electrical rewiring gog on at my block n tmr's electricity will be cut... n i hate bathing in cold water n gog out wif oily hair (after abt 20 hours of not washing my hair, eeks....). so to get myself fresh n to avoid cold water, i'm bathing soon, wait for hair to dry n then sleep... wake up ard noon, look for angie to buy foundation, thn make my way to library@espanade n rot out till Baby knocks off. then its dinner time n House of Sand and Fog time wif him... using the "pre-paid" card of cos... heh...

kk, bathing soon cos sleeping soon... *poof*

A Prayer...

Sometimes I really wish to drop dead. Forgive me Lord, but I really feel like a total wreck.

Papa in Heaven, y am i subjected to this kinda misery n punishment? issit a hint, a clue, a tell sign tt i'm drifting too far from You?

I really feel so dead at times abt things gog on ard me. I'm like a zombie, laughing happily, smiling, but deep down i'm frowning...

Living like this, pms-ing the past few months is a huge torture... even hong says tt i have issues to address but how can i? its not i have a way to do it.

all i wan is some support n a pair of caring, strong n concern hands to giude me outta this darkness, giving me attention n concern, is tt too much to ask for?

i'm really a total wreck, someone pass me some depression helpline hotline. meanwhile i'll just reach for my cheer bear...

or mayb i shld just reach for something sharp, but i have no guts. i'm scared of darkness, scared of pain...

Father, i do feel your comforting arms. but, please, pull me outta this darkness. i cant take it anymore...

I know i've been a bad sheep, running away from the flock. i really wana come back, i really do...

Help...

In Jesus Name, Amen...

Movies n films galore!!!

Caught Raising Victor Vargus just now... seemed so "student-film" to me. mayb its the script, maybe its the "try-to-b-abstract-but-failed-to-do-so" thing... mayb its the camera work... cant spot flaws in lighting though... seemed a bit draggy, but kinda enjoyable cos there was an old hag... yep, old hag... irritatingly funny old hag... one line from the old hag...

*hand shows a wanking action n toks in a very mexician, latin accent* its bad... its terrib'ole', very terrib'ole' you know...

k, maybe her character is very conservative n holy, tt explains y... one very entertaining character tt spiced up the movie a little...

I spent $90 on the Last Samurai screening to get a Singapore Film Society "member-cum-pre-paid" card. y pre-paid? cos the $90 bucks entitle you to "free" screenings at least twice a month (1st n 3rd wed of the month) wif some bonus screenings thrown in now n then... n then again, not actually free cos u spent $90 on it... so i call it the pre-paid card.

Mystic River is on on wed n they're showing some shorts on thurs. can't wait... movies, movies... i'm really born into this! even studied in FSV, the ONLY film school in sg.. hehe...

Lost feeling... Last samurai... A*Mei...

I'm havin "the" lost feeling now... gog to breakdown sooner or later so i have to keep myself bz... so, here i am... Wana calll or sms to know wht he's doin but i know he's bz at a frd's place, therefore i dun wana disturb him. dun wana let him find me naggy or too "disturbing" least i get awoken from the new nice dream... so, here i am...

Caught The Last Samurai. Cried at the end of the film cos i was touched by the dignity, passion n strenght Katsumoto has. the scene now is still vividly playing in my mind... the drive he has to ride forward... the refusal to die at the end of his enemy... the enemy touched by his determination to b a samurai till his last breath, till they knelt n bow as katsumoto ended his life, the samurai way... it aso enriched my mind abt the different parts of the samurai ways. be it fully fictional or non-fictional, it did put some facts into my head. To me, Tom Cruise was just a supporting role, the real stars r the samurais.

think.. think.. betta think of things to write... i dun wana breakdown...

Exclusive... A*Mei was in town to shoot a TVC. the brand: some china ice tea tt Sun Yanzi has endorsed b4. she was so herself... Bubbly, cute, chatty n showed concern to each n everyone of us there. Seeing her again was great. The last time was at her concert... next time she's coming, its for the MTV Awards on V's day...

Editing the photos for the china trip now... Need photoshop for more control but yet to install... abt the china trip, the last few entries r still, hmm, still waitin to be churned out... kinda lazy to write... mayb i shld go back to the photos.. but its getting more n more monotonous n i dun wana breakdown! argh...

Write write.. think think... argh! blank mind now... ending quote: whn u like something too much, u'll cling on too tightly cos u dun wana lose it... but clinging on too tight, u'll still lose it... haiz... mayb i shld just go to my room n let go...

Nightmare...

it was a horrible Tuesday nite. the sky was overcast. The scene looked dark, misty, foggy, smokey. rain pelted down like no one's business for almost a good 4 hours.

Wednesday morning wasn't tt good either. A gal read a boy's diary. the river is almost bursting its banks. water flowed n flowed till it reach a shallow area. the water couldn't be contained n gushed out. rain fell soon after n the whole area was flooded for almost 3 hours.

Thereafter, the sun came out. the sun beam's were strong n provided much warmth everyone needed. Boy, nightmare was over at last n a beginning of a new nice dream. but i dare not sleep... there's a fear in me... a fear tt whn i wake up, the dream will be gone n the nightmare comes back...