Monday, April 25, 2011

Another Milestone In Life: Passing THE 5-Year Mark

Before beginning on my main topic, let me talk about something superficial in a way. I FINALLY got a new phone. After 2 years of saying "I need a new phone", I finally got one!
Ok, back to my main topic...

5 years. How many 5 years does one person have? A 50 year old has 10 which, in quantity, is a lot. But to me, a cancer survivor, 5 years is a HUGE milestone, almost unquantifiable.

The past 5 years have not been easy emotionally, and it swings up and down... I've seen and heard people around me starting the battle and/or losing the battle. Why do they have to fight the battle in the very first place?!

Good news is, my oncologists decided not to see me that often after my checkups 2 weeks ago was all good and clear. Yes, not seeing me often is actually good news. Financially, yes, I don't spend so much, but that's not the main point.
It's more like, it's like a step forward, a progression towards almost a full pink of health. Although I know I'll never be fully cured, but staying as long as possible, of even forever on a NED (No Evidence of Disease) status is what I ultimately want.
So, from a every 6 months checkup, Dr Khor will see me in 12 months time and Dr Whang, 8 months. Then again, I feel a little insecure in a way. It seems that 8 and 12 months seem a little long to keep tabs on this little monster. But, I'm glad.

I thank the Lord for giving me these 5 years. And, yet again, I'm questioning myself. Why me? What the purpose? Is there something He wants me to do? Lord, I need guidance, please show the way...

Aunt M, I miss you. I really do. I saw a lady on the bus a few months back and she looked so much like you. I almost called out to her. And then when I realised she was not you, I pretended to yawn cos I couldn't hold the tears in my eyes.


Chaosdingo said...

can one la, watch more man united matches and scream more when someone kelong, consperm scare the little bugger away. :D

On a more serious note, I'm not a religious person, so i cannot tell you what your Lord wants you to do.

What I can tell u though is, don't bother thinking about why. It happens if it happens.

It is HOW you deal with it that matters. Thinking negatively is not going to help you deal with the situation.

Staying strong, healthy and being positive on the other hand, should be the way to go.

By being bothered with this little bugger, you are not living your life properly, i mean what is the point if all u do is to be unhappy/insecure and what not with regards to this little bugger? do not give it the pleasure. it is not worth it.

Give you 5 years is not for fun. if you are going to worry about WHY THIS AND WHY THAT AND WHY NOW BROWN COW>!>!, then sorry if i sound so harsh: give this 5 years to someone else that deserves it.

With that said, I understand sometimes it can be hard when you think you're the only one facing it alone, but really, I am very sure that there are people who are there to sappork you if you need it, and that includes me. =)

Plus I'm also very sure that you got hands got legs got mouth, so you know where and how to go about finding these sappork. When there is a will there is a way. there is no such thing as no light. light is everywhere, the darker it is, the easier it is to spot the light.

Remember, a positive mind is a healthy mind. YOU CAN DO IT.

Now imagine Man Utd winning the league. that should be your starting point. =)

PS: I'm fighting a battle right atm too! I'm quitting smoking for good. So yeah I more or less can relate. Good luck to the both of us!!

Jas aka paced said...

I know what u mean la. jus feeling emo a lil, but definitely not negative... hehehe... thanks for yr support!!!!!!!!! i will jia you de!!!!!!