That Little Spot In The Liver

It has been quite some time since Dr Whang last sent me for a scan of any sort. It was way back last year in April to be exact. Even the previous review/checkup in Dec was just a comprehensive blood test. And so, I was sent off for a liver ultrasound this time around.

Call me mad, but I kinda like going for scans. Blood tests can only tell so much. And after my near-death experience, I feel that sometimes blood tests are a little unreliable in a certain way. Scans are way much better. After all, it was only through a PET scan that it was discovered I was 2-6 months away from knocking on death's gate.

Back to the liver ultrasound. Having mixed feelings and emotions with the results actually, as a 0.6cm subcapsular cyst is found in the right lobe of the liver. The cyst jolted, shocked, shook and slapped me awake. Scared? Afraid? Maybe... I only have 1 liver. I decided to read up a little online to try to calm myself down a little or even try to sort my thoughts out a little. Although Dr Whang says it's not a big issue and will schedule a CT scan for me within the next 2-4 months as she wants to closely monitor this little spot, I'm reassuring myself that since I have no back aches, abdominal pains, jaundice, fevers, indigestion and/or vomiting, it is not a big issue.

A cyst may not be a big issue, but it can also be a big one. Ever since I'm declared NED and having a "spotless liver" all this while, I did not have any doubts about my own health. I felt that I'm ok. I started to indulge a little on my favourite comfort (read: junk) foods, such as instant noodles, luncheon meat, chips, etc...  So, to be on the safe side, I better keep my diet in check. Apparently, some articles are saying minimise dairy products, fatty foods, alcohol, artificial sweeteners, meats, refined carbs, and junk foods, while increasing intake of vegetables and fruits. 

I don't take alcohol and artifical sweeteners, so that's easy peasy for me. Cutting down on fatty foods, meats, refined carbs and junk food can be done too. But dairy products is something I cannot live without. I love my morning cup of coffee with milk. I love tea with milk. I love cheese, glorious CHEESE!!! Telling me to cut down ish can die canz?! Am arguing with myself why the heck do I have to minimise intake of diary products and am procrastinating to go find out or read up as to how diary products affect the liver. Wokay, whatever... Since I cannot do without that cup of coffee with milk in the morning when I'm working, I'm going to cut dairy products in the rest of my food intake.

Increasing intake of vegetables is pretty easy. Just eat salad, yong tau foo, or economical rice as there's a bigger portion and/or selection of vegetables. But increasing intake of fruits is an issue. I'm super picky about my fruits. I only eat logan, lychee, mango, watermelon, durian, jackfruit, honeydew, rock melon and grapes with skin off, and to pack them for lunch is a little troublesome. So, I'm actually having thoughts about just having fruits for dinner.

Shall be a good girl and await the next scan. Hopefully that little spot will clear up on it own...

Blowing Off Some Dust

It has been about 6 months since I've last blogged. Bet there are some cobwebs and dust collected all over this blog. Heh... At the same time, I'm in a bitching mode and need to let out some stuff...

Most of us receive emails from time to time, and some of us receive TONS of emails everyday. Yet, there are some people who don't know how to use email properly. Ok, maybe just one person in my life I've seen so far. I seriously think this person need to undergo an email etiquette course or something.

A collection of things done:
1) Sends emails about small little things which can be verbalized and without the need to leave an email trail.
Not everyone has the privilege to enjoy a huge mailbox the size of Gmail. Moreover, in my job scope, dealing with creatives/artwork day in and day out, I don't have space in my mailbox for your nonsense.

2) Sends "informative" emails which are just junk.

3) Forwards emails for the sake of disseminating information or "heads up", but nothing is confirmed/planned/concrete yet.
One should know when information should be disseminated instead of just blindly forwarding the emails resulting in information coming in in drips-and-draps. If it's something that needs to be actioned on in a later stage, appreciate your 4-5 "heads up-ing" emails, but please summarise at some point of time. Not everyone has the time and energy to go through 4-5 emails to piece things together. If it's just purely FYI, with no action necessary, only disseminate the information at the end when it is firm.
Just like the contestants in Survivor, most of them would say, having information, any kind of information is crucial to the advancement in the game. To them, information is king. Having or knowing information is cool, is great. But know when to share and how to share. Some can be verbalised first without clogging up mailboxes.

4) Sends emails about urgent matters that need to be actioned on almost immediately without tagging it as "high importance", nor even following up with a call.
I don't stare at my screen the whole blardi day waiting for you to email me.

5) Forwards emails blindly requesting for things to be done without finding out any information about it, nor even following up with a call.
The request is sent to you. If you think that you have to delegate or forward the request to the correct person to follow up, it doesn't hurt to pick up the phone to call the person whom you have delegated or forwarded the request to get his/her attention on it. If you have no information, tell that person that you have no information whatsoever and get him/her to clarify it directly with the requester.

6) On top of the points above, more than half of the time, emails that are sent/originated from this person are without a subject title.
 I'm busy, I've other more important mails to read and action on. I do not even wish to spend an extra minute filtering the mails you sent out.

7) And on top of the points above, sends/forwards at least 3-5 such emails in a week.
The email system is in place for one to use, not abuse. Go back to those days where such a communication tool doesn't exist. Do you kill trees and use up reams of paper via faxes? Ah, probably now I know why you keep complaining that your mailbox is full...

On a happier, less bitchy note, Happy National Day!

3 Months Into The New Chapter Of My Life

Opened a new chapter of my life since end-Oct last year with a change of job. A very familiar job scope but in a totally different industry.

Although I have to handle a higher number of projects/jobs/campaigns at any one time, I don't feel very overloaded/ overwhelmed, nor do I often have the need to find a bulldozer to dig me out from being buried under tons of work. Probably it is because I have an in-house creative team and a creative agency to help in the actual artwork creation and design, so I do not have to spend time in front of the Adobe softwares. And/or probably I have the help from a media agency who pretty much handles everything. All these help I get makes everything more efficient in a way.

However, just like in any bed of roses, there are thorns. Thus as rosy as it sounds, there are hiccups which makes things not so smooth, and I still have to OT sometimes. But I ain't complaining. I kinda enjoy the little breaks and breathers throughout the day, using them to do some housekeeping, think about the tasks at hand and their next steps, empty my bladder, etc...

One of the best perks I get in this job is being near to where SUPER YUMMILICIOUS Fung Wong Confectionery Egg Tarts is located!!! In my very honest opinion, these egg tarts are the best in Singapore at the moment, and I have not tried any other egg tarts that taste better. The crust is so light and fluffy, and the custard just simply melts in my mouth! Just for comparison's sake, Tong Heng used to be my favourite, but no longer now. But if you do know any good egg tarts around, do let me know. I'm willing to take a taste test to find out. :)

Determination!

About 2 weeks back, I went back for my regular checkup. Finally, I've reached the "no-scans" stage of checkups.

To me, it's an upgrade of sorts. It's like I've reached a stage where I have a lower risk of having a relapse. However, yet at the same time, I wonder if the comprehensive blood test done is enough to determine if I'm absolutely in the pink of health. Not that I don't trust my doctor, but it's like I have not been scrutinized enough, if you may. Crazy thoughts, but yah, I don't mind doing a PET scan.

And with this, I'm afraid I would get complacent. Diet is the only thing that I can control of what goes into my body. With this, it seems like a "green light" to have my favourite instant noodles and luncheon meat, which is not exactly good for me.

But, DETERMINATION is key. 6 years in remission and counting! :-)

Parenting101?

I remembered when I was younger, growing up and trying to be a little adult, I refused to hold my parents' or guardian's hand while crossing the road. I wanted to show them I was old enough to cross the road on my own, but they nevertheless still grabbed my hand or arm and refused to let go. Now I finally know why they did what they did... They wanted to make sure I'm safe and to protect me.

Whenever I see kids running around without supervision at the supermarket or at some eating place, I get angry at their parents/guardian. People are pushing trolleys or carrying trays of hot food. Should the kid gets knocked by the trolley or gets scalded by the hot food, who's the blame? So, I tell myself, my kid should never leave my side in case any accident happens.

That CCTV footage of 2 vehicles running over a little toddler in Foshan, China, attracted a lot of attention worldwide. Some criticized the people who walked past the scene without rendering any help, some criticized the lady who helped saying she helped because she wants to be famous, some criticized the drivers, some criticized the moral values of the country, some criticized the law and policies, etc.. I'm not here to point fingers at who's right or wrong, nor am I writing this to criticize on morals, law, policies, etc..

When I first saw the footage, I was horrified and shocked. A little girl, lying in a pool of blood being ignored. Of the first few questions I had after watching the footage, one was "where are the parents"... I then shared the footage on Facebook. One of the reasons why I decided to share was because I want it to serve as a reminder to myself, not to let my kids venture away from me, from my sight. Accidents do happen, and it's up to me to protect my kid and keep him/her as safe as possible to try to prevent an accident from happening...

Restoration Of Pearly Whites - Part 8

This will be a real quick update...
With work on the upper jaw completed, work started on my lower jaw two Fridays back. Two front teeth did not need to take the root canal route.
Went back to the clinic last Friday again to work on the tooth on the right of the two front teeth, and no root canal needed as well. Checked on the wisdow teeth extraction wounds and everything's ok as well.
Will be back at the clinic again this Friday to work on the teeth to the left of the two front teeth...

10 Warning Signs Of Cancer

Recently I came across an article titled 10 Warning Signs Of Cancer. I shared the link on Facebook and thought I could share some thoughts about the article. You can read the article here.

For those who are going to laugh or brush this off, let me put things into perspective: I HAD 4 out of these 10 warning signs. I'm not saying that when one has these 10 symptoms or warning signs, one has cancer. But it DEFINITELY calls for a visit to the doctor. 

The 4 I had were:
1) Fatigue and weakness
I slept, and I slept a lot. A few months before I was first diagnosed, every weekend, without fail (unless I had to wake up early), I'll be having a good long session of about 13- to 15-hours. If I do not have to wake up for work the next day, I'll be clocking in those hours as well. And it is not because I sleep late on weekdays and hence I needed to catch up on my beauty sleep. I usually sleep by 12 midnight and wake up at 7am.
I felt tired easily and after work, I simply had no energy to do anything.
2) Unusual bleeding
The first nose bleed on CNY was brushed off as too much bak kwa, hence heaty, hence nose bleed. If I recall correctly, the second nose bleed came about 3-4 weeks later, the third was about 2 weeks later. Then it became more frequent, to a weekly affair, then to once-in-2-3 days affair. 
3) Swollen lymph nodes
There was a swell below my right ear, near the jaw, on the neck. The swell never once subsided, it just grew and grew and grew. Turning my head was such a chore as it was damn painful.
4) Persistent pain, fever, cough
A few months before I was diagnosed, I fell ill quite frequently, with flu and cough. Ok, maybe we could or want to pass that off as immunity weak or I was working too hard, etc...
However, we cannot disregard the fact that I started to have fever on the night after I had my first radiotherapy session (blog post here). The fever never left and I started to have backaches as well (blog post here). Even a few weeks after I'm done with radiotherapy, the fever and backaches still haunted me (blog post here). It was only after a PET scan was done, that we realised that my cancer had spread.


Please remember that for some cancers, there's a higher chance of survival if it's diagnosed during the early stages. I'm probably a miracle case as I was 2-6 months away from knocking on death's gate. Who could have thought that one with liver and bone metastasizes could survive? Moreover, from the day I was first diagnosed till the day it was discovered that it has spread, it was just a little more than 3 months. In 3 months, the cancer cells decided to turn aggressive, wreck havoc and party round my body. Even my oncologist said that chemo is to help keep me around longer, with the option to cure.

It's your life and it pays to be vigilant. 

Restoration Of Pearly Whites - Part 7

And the whole climax arc starts from here!

Last Friday, it was yet another dental appointment. This time, it's really starting work on fixing my smile. Dr Lee first took impressions of my teeth. Then he started drilling away the decayed parts of my 4 front teeth on the top jaw. Good news is the decays did not go too close the nerves and hence, we were allowed the option of putting in fillings or to continue with root canal and crowning. And so after weighing out the pros and cons and the whole scenario, we chose to do fillings.

Why fillings over root canal and crowning? No one can be really sure and confident how long the fillings or crowns will last. To do root canal and crowning, much more drilling is needed to be done and the already weakened structure of my teeth will be further weakened by the additional loss of the teeth's natural structure. By doing fillings, I can retain a little more of the teeth's natural structure, so I decided on take the least damaging route. Should the teeth further decay, then root canal and crowning can be considered at a later stage.

This Friday, I'll be back at the dental clinic, starting work on my lower jaw. Dr Leong will be attending to me instead of Dr Lee. Dr Lee is a root canal specialist, so since we are doing fillings, Dr Leong will start doing the drilling and all first. Should any particular tooth needs to take the root canal route, then Dr Lee will take over for that tooth.
Dr Lee is so sweet. I was mentioning after the fillings were done that my teeth felt heavier and perhaps I'm not used to them yet. He called me yesterday to find out if I'm coping well, if there's any sensitivity, discomfort, pain and all! Actually I'm doing fine and I'm more used to extra "weight" already. This is actually my first time having a doctor to call and check on me. Really touched by his gesture... 

Honestly, I'm kinda hoping I don't have to take the root canal route at all. Why take away some healthy parts when they are still useful right? Will update again after this Friday!

Restoration Of Pearly Whites - Part 6

Went to remove stitches on Thursday. Good news is the dentist was pretty pleased with the progress of the healing, no exposed bones and all.
Bad news is that with the stitches removed, there isn't a "cover/blanket" of sorts to shield the holes from bits of food. Some friends have given me the advice of using a syringe to help clear bits of food stuck in the holes. Tried it yesterday and I guess probably my frequent rinsing is working well, so didn't spot any bits of food. heheh...

Because of radiotherapy treatment in the past, the main worry/ issue is that the wound would not heal at all. Although my progress is much slower than others, at least it is healing. Maybe I worry too much, but I guess I'm going to hold off chewing solid food still. At least for another week or so...

And finally, after ranting and ranting about the dumb template and all, I finally managed to customise it earlier in the afternoon. Doesn't look as close as how it does in the past. I still can't figure out how to customise each little part. For example, the AdSense banner just below the blog header. Using the little html knowledge I have, I was able to change the size of the banner. Now, when I click on "edit html", everything looks so foreign and, honestly, I totally catch no ball. Haiz....

Restoration Of Pearly Whites - Part 5

Before I begin on the update, I have something to say.
Blogger.com, give me back my old template!!! I clicked on the "Try the updated Blogger interface". Realizing that my blog template changed and I had to customize from scratch, I did not save the changes and then switched it back to the current interface. And guess what, the template that you are looking at now remained. WELL DONE... Why wasn't there any prompting that blog template/designs would not be kept?! So now, I will probably have to burn my weekend editing and customizing a template.
I do have a CSS template saved eons ago, but I can't edit CSS no matter how hard I try. At least using it as a guide, I will be able to know how my right hand bar used to look like and what links it had, and work something out...

Ok, back to the update on my teeth...
I don't know if it's me and my eyes, but my right cheek still looks more puffy compared to the left. Maybe I'm aware of the stitches on the inner right cheek, hence I feel this way. Once in a while, the wounds on the lower jaw still ache a little, like what I drink something too hot or something too cold, or when I open my mouth too big, or when I yawn.
Though there are stitches, I can see from the lower jaw that not the entire gaping hole is being stitched up. Comparing now to when I first saw the wounds, the holes seem to be a little teeny weeny bit smaller. I dunno if the holes are meant to be closed up, but if they are, then I guess that's good news.

I kinda know how Survivor contestants feel when they are able to brush their teeth with toothpaste after not being able to for a period of time, especially for contestants who get booted to Ponderosa.
I didn't brushed my teeth since Day 1 of the extraction, only using mouth rinse, because I don't dare to open my mouth that wide. Even when I was able to, I was afraid the bristles might get caught in the stitches, so I brushed lightly without any toothpaste in the event the foam blurred out everything inside my mouth, and then followed up with the mouth rinse.
Finally, on yesterday night, I brushed my teeth with toothpaste for the first time in 12 days. The feeling is super shiokness and it felt super clean. I probably only brushed the 8-12 front teeth, as I'm still afraid, but it was very satisfying! The shiokness and clean feeling of brushing my teeth with toothpaste this time surpasses the shiokness and clean feeling of bathing after Poly softball training (where we used to pull/drag each other into/around the mud after trainings).