Writing for the sake of it...

Writing an entry for the sake of doing it... Nothing much to say also... life has been the same, still kinda kind, not so ruthless to me after all..

worst thing the past month was that i was sick for a week. fever, cough, groggy, headaches... "biggest" illness/sickness that had happened to me in years... Its like almost routine that i'll fall sick every few months... sigh...

best thing was that there was free food almost every week... the perm staff got their 3 month bonuses and treated us to dinner and pizza lunches. There was even someone's 20th anniversary lunch and a safety thingy celebration...

worse and better thing, putting on weight. my colleagues are going "aiyoh, mei mei, fat liao..." n few months back they were "must eat more, so skinny"... what the hell?!

Winn's Wedding

Still spinning: Life by Gabrielle

After sad, blue and pondering days, something happy came up... Winn's wedding on Sat. Although it was a long and tiring day, complete with waking up early, walking around, sleeping late, it was fruitful. Made me see so much within such a few days...

During the church ceremony, all was silent n solemn. To me, its such a serious thing. after all, you're taking your vows. But, taking vows is a scary thing that needs huge determination. the kinds determination that you are gonna spend your life foreva with tt person. Hearing them take, spoken in such seriousness, to me, someone who's still not so prepared for marriage, its damn freaking scary... but of cos, seeing them take the vows, i know they felt happy, and determined at the same time to make the marriage wonderful...

After everything at nite, back in the hotel room to pick up our stuff, i gave winn a hug. Felt so happy yet sad at the same time. its tt kinda mixed feelings. happy, of cos lah, no need to explain... sad, cos i'm like marrying off a sister! now i know how mums feel when their daughters get married.

Brides really do look their best on their wedding... my dear winn, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty!!! soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!

Life, oh life...

Been post the same question quite a few times today... "wht r u thinking abt" Said dunno, but actually lots till its all blury... now, let me try to put these tots bit by bit in words...

My frd's sis passed away ystday in the aftnn... sometimes we wonder/ ponder/ think, why is life so short. But did it ever occured to them at all that life is even shorter for some even more unfortunate ones out there.
She was just 19, wif an extremely bright future and life to look forward to. But God placed an obstacle for her to cross, a hurdle that seemed easy, but in fact it was not. She took 3 years, trying to cross this hurdle but she can't. During these 3 years, her family of 5 been thru hell n back. they had high hopes and God let her stayed for a while. But now, the Lord decided that its time for her to call home. 3 years of tug and war is over, 3 years of suffering is finally over. It might be painful to see her go, but the pain she went thru, the amt of morphine she had to take, only she will know. Lord, pls take care of her now that she's with You.

Live life to the fullest, my dear friends. no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Everytime there's this particular email that goes round reminding us "if you love someone, tell them, because if they are not around tmr, you can't tell them foreva". I never tot much of this email, never ever.
Cos to me, it does make sense, but too far fetched. but it took me 2 deaths... 2 REAL, PAINFUL deaths close to me in less thn a month to make me realise wht this paticular email is teaching us abt.

I feel so down... so so down now and i desparately need to adjust myself cos winn's wedding on sat... but i feel so lost now cos i just realised how fragile life is... mayb i should take a break, take a holiday, but tt's like running away...

If i were to stay on, i dun think i can take the pain. cos my dad's mum has been placed the similar obsticle, similar hurdle by God. whn will it be my turn? For me, chances of getting breat cancer are like double... y? my parents are cousins. their mums are sisters. a few of their cousins/ distance female relatives have gotten this hurdle too. My cousin is freaked out, so am i... wht to do? its in the genes... life is damn freaking fragile... i might be the next one... i so so not mentally prepared...

God help me...

Insecurity overwhelms me... Blame it on PMS or blame it on wht's going thru me now... I'm so damn feeling lost...

Life is fragile... live life to fullest... never have regrets... if u think u did something wrong, remb to say sorry, u might not even have the chance to do it the next moment... never think of "tmr lah", or "next time lah" cos there might nvr be...

Spinning: Life by Gabrielle

Adding for the sake of adding...

It seems foreva that I added an entry... so adding for the sake of adding...

passed my final theory... few more lessons and i can book for my pratical test already...

Someone whom i can kinda link to passed away... He's not my age, he's 53, with a cute daughter less than 5 years of age. he died whn he crashed into a stationery van/ truck/ heavy vehicle while on his bike. at work, those who know him and know my parents came forward and asked, "heard about YOUR uncle chew mat kiat?". of cos i heard about him, although i dun think i know him or seen him at all.. my parents talk abt him sometimes at home. since i dunno him, why do i feel a connection to him? cos he was my parents' ROM witness, my dad's close colleague, close frd...

Saw Bridget Jones 2 last wkend... Actually quite a bit of movies, but not much impact to write abt them... Y BJ2? part of me is like her, wishing n hoping a prince charming will love me and sweep me of my feet, searching for love and someone i can depend on... no matter wht misunderstandings, wht quarrels, wht cold wars, wht break-ups, in the end, i'm still with my tt prinnce charming because of one simple word... love...

Slow month...

One month, but it feels like forever... Not that time past by slowly, it just that, it seems like everything's so comfortable that it seemed like a long time already...

Boo to Halo 2...

Have any of you heard Halo 2 is gonna have a midnite launch later? XBox & Halo fans are screaming yay, so might be avid gamers... But I'm screaming boo!!!

Firstly: My frog prince has to OT.. Hmm, OT good rite? NO!!! cos...
Secondly: he cannot claim OT!!!
Thirdly: he might have to work true the WHOLE nite.
Fourthly and MOST importantly: he's spending his bday working overnite... :-(
heartpain...

PMS week...

Lazy n tired me... haven't been blogging for a long long time...

i've passed my FTE... booked for FTT on the 23rd. Keep forgetting to ask boss for leave cos the FTT's in the afternoon... if dont catch tis date, the next slot is on 29th...

missed my driving on wed. no thanks to trakindo's order. stupid HPL pple!!! scheduled 2 bulk loadings in the morning, one west, one east... and they sent the tank in the afternoon!!! worse of all, the tank that should be drove to east plant to load went to west plant to load n vice versa... worst of all, in the hurry to load, it was fucking 3.30 and we knock off at 4.45, west plant forgot to check proforma that the driver brought along for loading, and LOADED!!! loaded wrong product nvr mind, STUPID tanks had product names stenciled on it! heng east side haven load yet... so bo pian, had to swing tank... de-caned the west loaded product into drums, flush the tank, sent samples to check if tank contaminated and then loaded the correct product into it... some had to stay till 9+... i went off at 8.15... n by the time i logged into bbdc webby to cancel driving, cannot cancel... call the customer service aso cannot... so i wasted 60 bucks like tt liao... haiz...

and me being so pms now, made my frog prince came over n buy me dinner... n made him stay till 11+... he so poor thing, overslept the next day... still feeling a bit guilty now...

Help help...

Issit good or bad whn u last saw someone abt 13 hrs ago n last sms tt same person abt 6 hrs ago, n now u're missing him already... aiyoh, y like tt? i should be "studying" for my FTE tmr... cannot concentrate ah... jiu ming ah... help help...

Dilemas...

All of the sudden, I have this bo liao idea... actually not bo liao after all... tt's to transfer my blog to somewhr else... seems like other blog servers offer much more stuff n control... like your layout, uploading of pics n midi/wav files. not that i'm unable to do it here, but its just too much of a trouble to do it here... plus u need good knowledge of html, for which i have none...

however, the biggie prob is the 190++, almost 200 entries to be transfered... n if u dun log in here for more thn 3 months, all previous entries will cease to exists, which means gone-ed... which will be most prob wht would happen if i move over to another blog, n not transfer my entries over... and which i think i'll spend abt an hour, copying n pasting the entries n changing the dates on them... argh... damn... i gotta quickly decide...

ignorant is bliss, so is being treated like a xing fu xiao gong zu (fortunate little princess)... but i prefer the princess part, though sometimes both is nice... life's full of contridictions, yeah? how long have i not felt this way? since foreva... cant remb whn i was treated like a princess... definately years ago... must enjoy while i can but cannot take it for granted... moments like tis, priceless... for everything else, i do hope thr's mastercard... (heh... k, i c crows fly by) but thr no free lunch in tis world, n the price i pay, lock's getting unlocked... which IS a good things after all...

Clams... not so yummy after all...

Jus got back frm a KTV session... took leave for Thurs n Fri to unwind n relax n rest properly... Got d whole day tmr to run errands, gotta replace an atm card n most impt of all, my ic...

i do feel something now already, but y am i still claming up? y am i such a bitch? how do i stop myself frm claming up? how? someone pls pls teach me n tell me how... help...